The run up to the next installment of the Tyne-Tees derby evokes unconceivable pain. Newcastle is going straight back up to the Premier League, rendering all the pleasure and consolation derived from mutual relegation quite nugatory. Who went back up the quickest was always meant to trump any of the casual prodding doled out to the Geordies who thought they were too big to fail. Our prognostications – historically miles off as they are – had us finishing second and gaining automatic promotion. For what it’s worth, Cardiff won the league and Forest the playoffs in our pre-season predictor. That 33% success rate would place us ahead of the two most recent gaffers…maybe it isn’t so hopeless after all?

Our Arsenal supporting mate had all sorts of unsavoury things to say after we procured the services one Tuncay Sanli back in the summer of 2007. He instantly became a personal favourite after this ever-so-reliable scouting tool tantalysed us with unyielding class. The parochial miasma subsided enough since those halcyon days to make us at least tacitly agree w/ some of those nasty assertions – the Turk and his people are suing the club for lack of payment over perceived image rights totaling somewhere in the neighbourhood of £544,000…fucking Ricardo Fuller understudy!

The Willo Flood Appreciation Society is in tatters – the Irish terrier is set for a spell on the sidelines w/ a knee issue suffered at Cardiff. Fortunately Rhys Williams is back after a pelvic injury, so expect him to be thrust into the vacated position in the Boro midfield…

Gary O’Neil reckons we can still negotiate the warren separating us from the current playoff positions…a bit early for that Thursday rally war cry, eh?

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Saturday heralded another despondent performance in an ever-diminishing string of must-win matches absolutely required to stay in this current playoff hunt. Defeat at Cardiff expanded the gap between Boro and 6^th place by 5 points – and the Bluebirds still have two games in hand. Some openly dream of more HMRC bother for the Welsh club that would tragically result in a points deduction. Others sit expectantly for their ‘annual playoff bottle job’. Whatever happens to Dave Jones and his players they will remain a constant reminder of our own failures and deficiencies.

For reasons unknown to us – and the players themselves per David Wheater in his post-match interview – Boro failed to turn on at the outset and seize upon their vulnerable hosts. Chairman and manager at loggerheads. Haven’t won in 3 matches. Missing SIX first team regulars. Without a financial pot to piss in. We were the quick tonic as Jay Bothroyd exploited a dazed defence to tap in the only goal 3 minutes from the opening whistle. The uphill slog was too great. The frenzied approach adopted in the second half proved entertaining and promising, but ultimately unfulfilling. All the hard work and endeavour punished by a disallowed goal – David Wheater’s leveler in the 60^th minute negated for an incredulous hand ball on Leroy Lita. The supposition from the linesman who commanded the call being LL knocked it on w/ his hand before Wheats rose to deposit in the net. No ebullient remonstrating after the match though from Gordo – his busy paw should have never been up to begin with…

We tapped into the state-of-the-art media installations at the new Cardiff City Stadium and followed the live blog w/ AV – aural fixation quenched w/ a vociferous dose of an Ali GG Snakebite. We took notes whilst thinking what Betsan Powys was up to:

Coyne; Naughton, Wheater, McManus, Taylor; Flood, O’Neil, Robson, Arca; Aliadiere, Lita

• Nothing inspiring about the starting XI – no Mac or Killen – the size of Lee Miller wasted again on the bench
• Cardiff ease their tumult in early fashion – some woeful Boro defending allows Gabor Gyepes to nod on a lofted cross from Darcy Blake on the left – Jay Bothroyd is at the far post to tap in – Cardiff 1-0 Boro – 3 minutes
• Early haze fuelled by the opener – Boro produce nothing attacking for the first 17 minutes or so – ‘haven’t done enough’ says the expert summariser Gary Gill
• Andrew Taylor back in the side – his alert header in a recovery role on 35 minutes does just enough to stifle another home side attack punctuated by a lurking Chris Burke
• We have been total shit – paraphrasing of course…
• Leroy Lita is actually finding himself in interesting positions, but this sortie ends immediately upon conceding possession far too easily deep in the Bluebirds box
• Chris Killen made it back from the Rose Bowl! He joins the action on 40 minutes as Jeremie Aliadiere makes way…his injury should be historically viewed as irrelevant to the change as he too is complete cack
• Penalty karma still on the side of the Boro late on in the first half – Chris Burke terrorises again, brought down flagrantly by GON – a certain pen…of course he sees a yellow card for simulation…what anti-Teesside bias?
• HT – Cardiff 1-0 Boro
• Mark Drury’s report includes ‘anemic display’…’lacking vitality’…get those men some vitamin boost and/or some of those instant hard-on pills
• The JA injury – later revealed as a broken toe – was appropriated by none other than Stephen McManus
• GG – tell the players again that there is an awful lot at stake today…roll up your sleeves and have a go…show us it means something to you…a loss today signals the end of realistic playoff ambitions
• Last Boro win in Cardiff? 1970 – a 4-3 result…this is the first visit to the new Cardiff City Stadium
• Boro start the half brightly – Tayls provides a decent ball into the box for LL, but alas he only scores w/ the little head between his legs – this effort from 7 yards is criminally off target
• Our Iron Man Willo pulls up lame – some left knee knack for the Irishman – he eventually comes off to end  string of 10 straight matches playing the full 90 – Rhys Williams replaces him for his first action since Boxing Day – 52 minutes
• Boro get their leveler!! David Wheater heads home after a Barry Robson free kick…until the linesman spots an incredulous hand ball offense on LL and waves it off…ludicrous
• More from GG re: the disallowed goal – this ridiculous linesman spots a hand ball from 35 yards away, in a crowd of players? The referee has to be in a better position
• Yellow card madness ensued – Robbo picked up one with – after much back and forth and questionable confirmation – Leroy Lita
• The little striker links again w/ Tayls – LL fed deep, rolling Anthony Gerrard and compelling a reflex save from David Marshall
• Robbo robbed – GON crosses nicely and it’s a crisp strike – important save from Marshall
• Killen next! A looping header the end result of a ball from the right delivered by Kyle Naughton – tipped away
• More Marshall heroics: GON has a go from a free kick 40 yards out – it dips and swerves towards the open net until the last moment – what a half from a man jettisoned to Norwich when Gordo gaffered up north
• FT – Cardiff 1-0 Boro
• GG MOM – Barry Robson
• It was a ‘lunatic linesman’ robbing us of a point, at least – so many chances in that second half – Cardiff were rocking and there for the taking
• Mark Drury w/ Wheats post match: we don’t know why we can’t string 2 good halves together – attitude toward the playoffs is still positive…it has to be
• Final thoughts from GG: we are competing at this level, just not scoring the goals to back it up – Scott McDonald will get those goals – is there enough time for him to make an impact

7000 tits from Newcastle shall be on display Saturday in what could be the last Tees-Tyne derby for some time…

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It was a good ole Clashing on the live blog. A return to fitness by the enigmatic Mosso Cloudfiles stimulated a celebration of some of the best, relevant bite-size prose culled from the catalogues of the only band that matters. Ali Brownlee and Gary Gill provided support from a remote control – here’s what our smuggled-in-our-budgie-smugglers recording device captured:

Coyne; Naughton, Wheater, McManus, Pogatetz; Flood, O’Neil, Robson, Aliadiere; Lita, Killen

• No Scott McDonald – residual pain from the previous groin niggle he tried playing through – Lita/Killen up front
• Congratulations Emanuel Pogatetz- recalled to Austrian national side…Boro will have 4 on international duty this week: Killen/Robson/Naughton join Pogi
• Mark Drury captivated by the ‘dead-eyest’ look of consternation from Mick Harford
• Kaspars Gorkss using a volleyball motion on the pitch – a sure hand ball that goes unpunished…the sheepish looks from the QPR bench confirms his complicity in the infraction
• QPR very organized in the midfield w/ a bank of five – sound in their positions, influencing the match – Leigertwood especially
• JA still not inspiring any confidence – continues to get chances…sweet eff all results…
• Until now! Fouled by Peter Ramage in the box – questionable maybe, but who cares? Barry Robson wrests the ball the LL and powers the pen down the middle…Boro 1-0 QPR!! 39 mins
• And again! Leroy is clotheslined by Kaspars Gorkss in the box deep into stoppage time – Robson again – YES!!!! Boro 2-0 QPR
• HT – Boro 2-0 QPR…from Mark Drury – Mick Harford hoping to have a quite word w/ referee Andy Woolmer…phrases like ‘look of thunder’ and ‘glowering’ certainly sound menacing…
• 2^nd half – QPR revert to a 4-4-2…Simpson and Antonio German join together up front
• Bright start to the half – Pogi joining the attack from the left flank and serving up a delightful ball that causes some bother in the Rangers box
• Gordo imploring JA to take on his marker(s) – classic French insouciance as a reply…
• ‘Barry Robson…stand still!’ is the sanitised version of the command barked from the gaffer
• Adel Taarabt joins the action and immediately tests Danny Coyne w/ a dipping, swerving effort from 25 yards – save
• Marcus Bent almost further validates the dynamic of former players scoring against the Boro by sticking the ball in the back of the net – fortunately he’s offside
• Carl Ikeme stands tall for his loan club – the Wolves keeper does well to repel both LL and GON late in the match to preserve the tame scoreline
• GG MOM – Stephen McManus – Mick and Wheats are forming quite the defensive pairing
• FT – Boro 2-0 QPR

We hold on, results go our way, and next week in Cardiff becomes absolutely massive…

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Billy Davies couldn’t have been serious? A matter of time before you scored? Really? The dereliction of duty committed by Leroy Lita for not playing to the whistle was really the only accelerant for a super-charged move that resulted in the goal. Sure, Radoslaw Majewski clipped the bar w/ a delightful free kick…and Robert Earnshaw was certainly menacing at times, however we did enjoy long spells of the ball. Unfortunately we created fuck all w/ it. Nothing clear cut despite some late desperation salvos from Pogi/Stephen McManus/Leroy Lita – all finding either a crude clearance or the safety of Forest keeper Lee Camp.

 We took a visit to the local ‘exotic dance’ club for a slice of good fortune. All the good it got us was waking up surprisingly not hung over from the strawberry margaritas – the secret ingredient is extra tequila – for a virtual rendezvous w/ BBC Radio Tees…portable parmo aficionado Ali Brownlee and Gary Gill instead of she’s-a-struggling-student-and-a-good-kid Kayla from Riverside County…balls!

Coyne; Naughton, Wheater, McManus , Pogatetz; Flood, O’Neil, Robson, Arca; Aliadiere, McDonald

• Still no Killen, so why is Lee Miller – ineffectual as he may be – on the bench?
• GON toughing it out…Pogi too after a late fitness test
• Majestic Majewski forces Danny Coyne to full stretch! Superb free kick may have gotten a slight touch, but it clips the crossbar and out for goal kick
• Boro respond w/ prolonged pressure – Arca shoots artfully from 20 yards – corner – pinged around the box…plenty of good touches…Forest agitated for sure
• Aliadiere getting into good positions, but Gary Gill sums it up expertly: you never feel he’s going to score
• Boro seeking first win @ City Ground since 1999
• Steve Agnew – remarkably still employed – predicted to Ali earlier this week that the team will be rewarded for their hard work and dedication on set pieces in recent training
• Good reasons for Gordo to be pleased – organized, assertive, attacking – but he’s not…we edged the half and really deserved something – HT Forest 0-0 Boro
• Penetrative reporting from Mark Drury: the gaffer really lost his rag at the end of the half – the final free kick was shambolic in every aspect – Forest have reinforcement options if needed…subs are warming up at the beginning of the break
• 2^nd half – Forest unbeaten at home since 19 Sep 09 to Pool 0-1
• Tame first 15 minutes – Chris Gunter has the first real crack in the 61^st minute – not too troubling – goal kick
• GG: a good challenge or two is just as effective as a goal in getting the crowd energized
• Forest get their goal – Lita stopped playing, the home side broke free – Majewski squares it – Chris Cohen meets it to sweep into the net – Forest 1-0 Boro – 72 min
• Robust ovation for Robert Earnshaw – off for David McGoldrick
• Leroy Lita attempts to atone w/ a venomous shot from absolutely nowhere! Tipped out by Camp
• Crazy final 10 mins – flurry of activity from Boro…corner after corner…Pogi smashed a goalbound effort that was saved…Forest break…McKenna we think sprinting into the box and down…no pen!
• Real frenetic stuff – Forest deploy their ‘absolute beast’… Dele Adebola
• 4 mins added – most of it uneventful – final 45 secs sees Danny Coyne come forward for a shit corner from GON – the subsequent free kick too – Leroy again…rolls his marker…wicked shot…effing saved by Camp’s knees…it’s later speculated that had he gone down amidst the robust challenge from Wes Morgan he could have maybe earned a penalty…
• FT Forest 1-0 Boro – one switch off…no clear cut chances…a lack of professionalism…
• GG MOM – Wheats

QPR bring their sideshow north Saturday – Warnock has a mate who might have booked a room already…

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Gary O’Neil is a man. He’s a fucking badass. Forgoing a debilitating groin niggle, the Boro skipper is to marshal the charge into the City Ground to face still-in-form Forest, a club still flying in the top reaches of the Championship despite a poor run of recent form.  Boro crashed out of the Carling Cup there earlier – a gritty 2-1 affair decided in the final moments – and settled for a generous draw at the Riverside in the corresponding league fixture.  Faint hopes of the play-offs flicker, though expectations for another season of this…the 5^th most competitive in Europe…are keenly resigned to. Anything more is a bonus. Success hinges on a goal run being established by the custom picked strike force – Scott McDonald, Chris Killen, and Lee Miller – the lanky Kiwi the only one to register so far. Mac’s failed penalty on Tuesday is destined for folklore pertaining to this lost season.

Gordon Strachan is expected to have a nearly full compliment to choose from…expect Killen upfront w/ McDonald, a more traditional 4-4-2…shift Robson to the left, Flood inside w/ GON, Naughton or Hoyte on the right flank…

Ruminations for sure – we’ll be up early for Ali/GG and their live representation to draw our own laboured conclusions. The paucity of blog fodder will continue to be fomented by social networking content…heads up for some peppermint tea and fags comments and ratings…

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Chests were puffed ahead of the trip to Blackpool – Boro’s first since 1987. Or maybe it was the absolutely requisite anoraks needed to shield from the elements at the open end of Bloomfield Road? This type of positivity hasn’t been on display since Gordon Strachan’s first match in charge v Plymouth, and that ended not so well. Ian Holloway and his ‘very professional’ group again yanked Boro out of the lower reaches of the stratosphere w/ another convincing win 2-0. The sad part is that it should’ve been worse. Not to say the visitors didn’t squander sufficient opportunities: two missed sitters from Jeremie Aliadiere, a blown penalty by Scott McDonald, failure to punish a side down to 10 men for over 30 minutes, an incompetent referee who fails to send off another Pool player for similar offences. Ailments that accompany an affliction known as typical Boro…

Chucked a sickie to catch the action live w/ BBC Radio Tees, the effects microphones catching the 1200 or so brave souls who traversed to the Lancashire coast…on a Tuesday…in February. Makes being sat in an urban condo in the American Southwest terribly unjust…for us! Some of the best fish and chips in the country so we hear…

• Four changes to the side – Hoyte/Grounds/GON/Aliadiere…Aliadiere??
• In what turned out to be a horrible portend, Gordon Strachan assists a lil Boro mascot out to the centre circle to meet Gary O’Neil
• Pool start w/ a 4-3-3 – Keith Southern/Charlie Adam/David Vaughan anchor the MF
• First chance falls to Boro – Willo Flood slices the Tangerines deliciously w/ a pass – JA gets on the end but cuts inside an onrushing defender, thus completely ballsing up a glorious scoring chance
• Scott McDonald vociferous – not getting the right kind of service and letting anyone who cares know it
• Pool ratchet up the pressure – DJ Campbell connects w/a prescient Charlie Adam pass – his move is splendidly blocked by David Wheater
• That goal was coming – just after the Campbell intervention Wheats is left out to dry by a dodgy Willo Flood back header – Brett Ormerod pounces and cooly slots past Danny Coyne – Pool 1 – 0 Boro
• GON remonstrates about a missed hand ball in the Pool area – wouldn’t be the last shout
• Why can’t McDonald get one of these chances that JA is up to his up to his camembert in – the Frenchie does better this time around though, angling in on a ball from J Franks and doing something better…getting a shot off
• Blackpool close the half w/ an assault on Danny Coyne – Gary Taylor-Fletcher gets the last lash before HT
• A right bollocking at the half? Julio Arca is on for Jonathan Franks
• First evidence of refereeing incompetence: JA fouled by Charlie Adam – he’s the last defender, should be sent off…gets a yellow
• Moments later…RED CARD!! Lumbering centre half Rob Edwards does the same exact thing to Scott McDonald…a proper professional foul…Blackpool down to 10 men… dangerous free kick wasted by GON
• ‘Hellish ding-donging’ going on between the team benches per Mark Drury
• JA + nice pass from GON = utter rubbish header straight at keeper…from 18 yards out!!!
• 25 minutes left and Gordo goes for it – Lee Miller on – Jonathan Grounds off – tough night for Groundsy
• More evidence of refereeing incompetence: GON is fouled in the area clearly – no dice; then an effing hand ball! Nothing. Outrageous.
• Evidence of refereeing incompetence tempered w/ a common sense make up call: 82 mins -Barry Robson is fouled in the box – softish, but we’ve seen them given for much less…tomfoolery about who takes the bleeding spot kick…Robson? JA? McDonald? YES PLEASE. He does…and doesn’t convert. A decent save, but still…
• 5 minutes added – Pool make it nugatory after DJ Campbell taps in for the second…2-0 Blackpool…done the double over us for the first time ever we think…
• GG MOM – Stephen McManus – no arguments…solid and commanding
• Gordo did all the post-match talking – players off limits…w/ Mark Drury he uses the phrase ‘very professional’ an unhealthy amount to describe the home side…

Forest Saturday…

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Overwhelmingly it’s clear that Gordon Strachan was a tad off on his assessment of the outfit he was handed down, and Steve Gibson/Keith Lamb may have been negligent in not acknowledging any readiness factor – simply put: can this guy win with what we have here, and if not, how much cash/time will it take to make changes? The answers remain nebulous, but the provident spend on the new bunch, coupled with certainty of existing squad members being sold infer a true direction.

Eric Paylor thinks the embryo is healthy and positive…

AV is keen to impress that this is our new level – everyone is for sale, and we sink into the more defined position of a feeder for bigger clubs, only able to exploit smaller, more vulnerable ones…

Change can be fun and exciting – the only attitude really as middlesbroughfcblog.com enters into a ground share w/ a non-footballing entity – Welcome to Steele Indian Park!

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With midseason transfer business usually dragging until the end of the term, the club endeavour to continue vetting targets. Lately we’ve heard Leon Best from Coventry – scorer of a wonder goal v Pompey in their FA Cup replay earlier this week – and Wes Hoolahan of Norwich, an assiduous winger, ideal as a replacement for Adam Johnson should he naff off to Sunderland or Everton. Throw in a spot of QPR’s Wayne Routledge and you have enough chum to hold the baying mob, temporarily at least. Though descriptions of old Wayne as a ‘combo midfielder who can play upfront’ invoke inherent hatred derived from similar failed experiments – see exhibits Aliadiere, Emnes, and/or Tuncay.

Collectively, it’s enough to stimulate hope. There’s a distinct outline in the new vision – more spine, steel, focus, and discipline – less faffing about w/ pretty passing and precision movement, because we simply haven’t the resources or personnel to implement it. And Gordon Strachan keeps getting managerial work not just for his acerbic wit, but because his austere system that emphasises grinding and plodding and fighting really does work.

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The wicked winter weather gripping all of Britain has eradicated large parts of the footie schedule, and Swansea’s long trip to Teesside was a natural candidate for eventual postponement. 6 matches so far in the Championship called off, with similar numbers affecting the rest of the domestic leagues and cup competitions. Pitch/ground conditions haven’t been the concern – it’s the safety of supporters to and from the venue that are of paramount concern. The conduit to the Bundesliga that is Raphael Honigstein raised an entirely valid point regarding the exceptionally cautious approach clubs are taking in these economically sensitive times. Many are so precarious that even one solitary accident suffered by someone attending their matches could have devastating financial impact – surely Boro and Steve Gibson aren’t immune either.

Time is the most valuable commodity – it allows for an opportunity to settle the new additions, and scheme for more. Expect a renovated side at Bramall Lane next Saturday when Boro travel to Sheffield United, right there in the deep mire of the table jostling for a foothold up towards the playoff promised land…can we stay in that fight?

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Work continues apace to bolster the ranks beyond the favours Gordo ostensibly cashed in to keep Marcus Bent for a few more weeks. The funds saved from the St Ledger screw-up (£3m) will also pad the unknown budget for a squad augmentation – so based on the conjecture available vis a vis possible targets and their reported asking price let’s call it somewhere nigh on £10m. Every bit of that will need wringing to ensure we can capitalize on the decent incision and passion displayed recently. That last bit of quality, creating chances, and goals, out of skill and intelligence – if it were present we’d still be talking Prem, the annual cup run, aspirations for repeats of previous glory. Without it we sit and contemplate the current untenable position – on the outside of serious promotion debate, irrelevant in the cups, borderline laughing stock because we tried to reshape and failed miserably – the days of Hasselbaink/Yakubu/Viduka and the like replaced w/ drab misrepresentations fueling a downward trajectory…

The middlesbroughfcblog.com casita witnessed live Boro footie on the telly for the first time since spring. Sod that nonsense! Like when we became full-time fag smokers, an informed decision was made – Ali and Gary Gill would guide us…the visuals there only for confirmation and reinforcement…here’s what we deduced by listening and not watching:

• Full strength squad – like we asked our Arsenal-loving and Rafa Benitez-taunting mate – does he really have a choice?
• Early on: Johnno has been electric – switching flanks to terrorise Cit-eh w/ maximum effect
• Mancini looks like a knob in his baseball cap
• Steady dusting of snow/precipitation – loads of empty seats
• Is Gordo salivating at the under-strength side fielded by the visitors? Benjani up front on his own??
• Final ball still lacking (see above)
• 30 mins – Johnno pulls up lame w/ a re-aggravation of his hamstring knack – ultimately subbed off for Marvin Emnes
• Shawky on the bench? What the eff?
• Gordo is hell Bent: castigating the striker because he thinks more can be done – Bent retorts w/ a ‘give me better service’ – it has been pretty appalling thus far
• Martin Petrov, in the eyes of an unbiased Arsenal supporter: ‘Why does a bloody Bulgarian need a little blue scarf? It’s hardly Turks and Caicos…Bulgarians rank just  above Turks…utter wankers’ (he is their best player of the first half though)
• And that’s why – sashaying through the middle of the park to carve open our defence and free Benjani for a cool finish right before the end of the half
• During the half-time cuppa and fag: Gary Gill asks are we content to contain their attack versus creating our own? Gamble, be brave!
• City improve their quality at the break – Richards/De Jong off – Barry/Tevez on
• 53 mins – Marvin Emnes off now after clattering w/ Pablo Zabaleta – unremarkable 23 mins from the Dutchie – Mark Yeates on
• Some of that nice work from The Boro: Hoyte and Franks juke and jive on the left to earn a corner – clearance from an indecisive Macca shot earns another – played long – Macca back on the left pops a beauty in at the far post that Rhys Williams plants on the top of Shay Given’s net
• Wheats labouring w/ a right ankle concern – existing niggle…
• 2^nd half has been a more ‘Come On Boro’ approach, but the will exerted to contain Cit-eh is compromising our attack – like we need help there!
• GOG MOM – Macca
• Final sortie – a corner delivered from GON finds Jonathan Franks – it’s on target but blocked by Sylvinho – hand ball??
• FT – Boro 0-1 Manchester Cini
• Post match – a dispirited Macca laments his two missed opportunities, along w/ the  inability to consistently carve out chances – GON: we worked hard – conceding when we did really dented the mood – the squad needs help – can’t compete w/ the WBA/Newcastles at this rate

Good riddance – naff off for this year FA Cup – Swansea on Saturday at the Riverside. Get that Celtic contingent down here post haste…

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