The virtual atmosphere was so casual we actually considered toggling something else, instead of the alt-tabbing between the live blog, BBC, the Saturday clockwatch, and West Ham/Wigan en espanol. We saved it for long afterwards, fearing the dulling, desensitising effect it would have on our orgasmic joy.

Some Boro bullets in lieu of regular match notes – memo to minuscule regional internet radio operation: a large percentage of your listenership is down to Boro supporters outside the local catchment area – broadcast the fucking matches instead of your foul brand of benign Europop, even if it’s a dead rubber…

• So Gary O’Neil is alarmed by the gulf in class – nothing perceived about it – between Boro and the top two in the Championship, West Bromwich Albion and Newcastle. Failure to get points off either – in relegation and promotion battles alike – might be the perfect illustration. Two points. Out of twenty-four. Versus WBA: 0 wins – 0 draws – 4 losses / 11 goals conceded / 0 goals scored. And Newcastle: 0 wins – 2 draws – 2 losses / 7 goals conceded / 3 goals scored. What else is there to say Gary?

• Lamb on the run! Middlesbrough’s chief executive took to his imaginary throne in the BBC Radio Tees studio. Here his spin, in every convoluted sense of the word:

1. The it’s-never-too-early-to-get-promoted notion? Against it -
2. We’ll be the best resourced club next season – he backs off a bit later – one of the top-resourced clubs…ahem
3. So revisionist – he attempts to berate a caller illustrating how the region has soured under his recent stewardship. Cup runs, European finals, top half finishes, football under Bryan Robson, the big spending era currently dooming the club to financial prudence…yes, all his doing…and the town was happy
4. ‘Define the word sanction’ – used to describe his role in the Alves episode. This particular chap merely wanted to know the power structure for such a critically bad transaction – all he got was the bombast of a well-educated, strangely confident trapped rodent.

• Luke Williams will be a man. The Teesville tyro is getting his advanced footballing ‘birds and bees’ under Gordo and the rest of the senior team. Some good touches and the seeds of intelligent runs displayed in the first 45 mins of his starting first team bow. This kid might be bigger than the parmo, and virtually everyone is pulling for him.

• The highlight of the season? Fantastic supporters – anchored by this lot

• We know no off-season – reviews of pre-season prognostications, dissecting this season like the cheap biology lab frog it was, deep stretching for WC 2010 S Africa, and so much more of the decent effort tinged w/ haphazard finishing this space has become…

Gaz has earned notable commendations from Arsene Wenger, and even Thierry Henry suggested the panacea for Barcelona to unlock Manchester Utd during the Champions League in 2008: play like Boro (after the sizzling 2-2 draw that offered the brightest glimpse of Alves’ talents). You’d think a principled and generally respected young manager would be recalcitrant to work under such tight constrictions…full credit to him for not exploiting it as an excuse for circumstances leading to the current position. For now, the rancor is a bit muted – winning will breed that. There’s still a chance to get it right, but when you say that it’s your job to manage the club through crisis you cannot alienate and become adversarial.

After the break, Boro get an immediate chance to right recent home wrongs: visits from Watford and Derby County in a 3 day spell. Just 7 out of 15 points collected so far at the Riverside this season – future consistency and success is going to be based on home form between now and May. How many teams out there rake over 70% of points available away points? And any machinations of Andy O’Brien and/or Nigel Reo-Coker will go unfulfilled – Bolton won’t loan their centre-half and Villa rubbished any reports of the pugilistic midfielder moving north east.

St Ledger and Folan are two of the many loan targets bandied about the press recently; included in the bevy are: Everton striker James Vaughan, Blackburn defender Zurab Khizanishvili; Stoke defender Leon Cort. Are we establishing some sort of organisational alignment w/ The Potters? They already have they’re tentacles in the Austin Aztex of the American USL…are they plotting to augment their academy w/ an austere former Premiership outfit? If we suddenly adopt a striped kit we’re fucked…

Gazza expounds on the current course; apparently some funds are available after AA effed off to Doha, the balance of the previous sales output went towards minimizing the gargantuan debt that financed the glory decade that has come and gone…

Gary O'Neil - brass in pocket

In the end Gaz will take a fairly strong side to City Ground for the league cup clash w/ Nottingham Forest, 4-time league cup winners during a dominating decade-plus spell. Marvin Emnes remains highly questionable after the head injury suffered v Doncaster; Digard, Pogi, and Chris Riggott still recover from their various maladies; and Gary O’Neil succumbed to the hernia injury he bravely elected to fight through – his courage is commended as he prepares for a 3 week layoff after surgery…we initially questioned where he was on Saturday w/ no announcement made, or noticed, until today…get well GON, for you are £5m we could potentially use for further squad revision…

Optimism abounds as we’re inside 48 hours of the start of a new beginning – the Blades beckon on Friday – is it genuine, or merely masked by the miasma caused by a hot summer lull? The currency of jobs, reputations, and livelihoods will be staked to ensure a satisfactory rebate of football happiness and contentment. Will all the effort and culture change that occurred over the summer interval, in the public view or behind the scenes, manifest itself on the pitch? It’s the main query as we forge forward…

The squad shaping that we hoped to be done with by this time continues:

In For Sure: Leroy Lita is on board – a fairly quick bit of business after talks w/ Sheffield Utd stalled

Rumoured: a duo of forwards from Olympique de Marseille – Mamadou Samassa and Elliot Grandin – the former a potential centre forward option that’s desperately required, and the latter an additional candidate to spring assaults from his preferred position on the right side of attack; Henri Camara, bequeathed ‘The Rabbit With The Rifle’ in his native Senegal…the striker is available on a free after release from Wigan

Stationary, For Now: Tuncay will be unwrapped for the Championship public to see – no takers yet for the charismatic captain of Turkey…if he’s still around come the end of the transfer window it could prove to be the best ‘signing’ of the off-season

Connecting Through AMS: Afonso Alves, wherever the fuck he goes…France and Qatar are the probable destinations per the latest tattle

Friday will be here shortly, especially if spending the interim steaming drunk. We’ll be cautiously confident of one of these will be on offer whilst at work…

Mido is back, but he isn’t; he was part of the trio with Tuncay and Afonso Alves to not make the trek north for the Dumbarton/Carlisle programme…the club states each have varying degrees of ailments, but it could be prevention of such they’re hoping to preserve, tacitly yearning for other clubs to come along and provide much needed £ to further revamp the squad…

Something about Ross Turnbull picking the ball out of the net 7 times in person was enough to convince Chelsea that the Bishop Auckland-born keeper is worthy of a spot in their European entourage – Welsh keeper Danny Coyne, in on a free from Tranmere Rovers, will take over his vacant locker, but will ask that it be thoroughly disinfected before moving in his gear

Philip Tallentire bloviates a pre-season preview, and his direct report Anthony Vickers is back from Portugal

1st friendly @ Macclesfield Town 18 Jul 09

‘I don’t think we deserve him and the players don’t deserve him as a teammate’ went a poster on the BBC, further isolating the Turkish spotlight. For whatever reason, he was the only player in red thinking invention and incision…massive deficiences were amplified on the right w/ Jeremie Aliadiere and in midfield w/ the suddenly immobile,  and equally hopeless, Julio Arca. Matthew Bates was sent off for emulating Him, and we were suddenly in the shit…already down 1 thanks to another hideously soft goal Boro would have to find their balls – and they did.

David Wheater took up residence as a third center forward w/ Marlon King and AA and the home side was re-animated, scrambling deliciously for a late stoppage time equaliser. There was even the improbable gilt edged opportunity to blag all 3 points…but the future Benfica man ballsed it up, like only he can.

It’s all to do in The Potteries on Saturday – loss surely means relegation, for Stoke can climb to 32 points, opening a potential 5 point gulf w/ 8 to play. We can’t possibly rely on unexpected points between now and the end of the season if we’re patently unable to garner the one’s expected of us.

Alves was effing garbage. Good scoring opportunities could’ve been great ones – Didier Digard wonderfully winning a midfield ball and marauding forward…after cutting it back at the 18-yard box he failed to spot Afonso Alves and Adam Johnson unencumbered on the left, certainly hungry for at least a chance to whack it goalward. Stewart Downing’s actual execution of the final product was good, just inevitable yards wide of the target.

Boro were undone by more late match absent-mindedness. An admittedly incredulous handball whistled on Gary O’Neil led to the break West Ham sought – a goal much like Downing’s…a ball whipped into the box that bounced freely, finding the head of Herita Ilunga, who finally beat a heroic Brad Jones.

So here we go again – a cluster of home matches to provide the impetus to retention of top flight privileges. Wigan is another in a recent flurry of must-win matches. Will we get a performance of steel and industry, knowing anything less would proliferate a keen interest in far away locales like Swansea and Cardiff…Plymouth, Bristol – requisite destinations in the frugal and forign reaches of the lower leagues.

Research your cliches – employ them…hope, pray…13 matches – do we have the balls?

A tired repackaging of the same stale rhetoric followed post-match. Their keeper played a blinder. We created good chances. We’ve been on the wrong end of some decisions. Hopefully our luck will turn. There is a groundswell of negativity centered on Southgate – the consensus believes if he really loves this club he should walk away.

But the optimist views from a distance, noting that one or two results puts Boro back in the familiar reaches of lower mid-table. Maybe their sense of entitlement clouds any other rational judgement? It’s all a load of bollocks – our condition is critical, and we are lapsing towards Championship coma.