1. gives a tantalising taste of the upcoming league action, replete with unique commentary and obvious assertions
2. broadcasts our ineptitude at prognostications of any sporting kind
3. a cheap way to file 600 or so words and stay on the cusp of relevance

Saturday

12.15p

Coventry v Derby – Ricoh Arena

Both dumped out of the Carling Cup at the first time of asking…more time to focus on the imminent lower-to-mid table scrap…Derby will summon the courage for another good early away result…Coventry 1-1 Derby

12.30p

Leeds United v Millwall – Elland Road

Surprisingly it’s Millwall who are the newly promoted side off to a rollicking start – a pair of tonkings meted out to the Bristol City and Hull, all without conceding a league goal…that changes after this affair…Leeds Utd 3-1 Millwall

3.00p

Bristol City v Barnsley – Ashton Gate

Both of these clubs were tipped for success early on, though Bristol may be erased by some now given the early upheaval…they fail to recall the cracking form achieved during Keith Millen’s spell at the end of last season…Barnsley will be difficult to predict all season…Bristol City 1-0 Barnsley

Burnley v Leicester – Turf Moor

Oh that devilish Paulo Sousa…Leicester deserved to beat Boro…don’t make us go hating your sexy ass…Burnley will be there all year long, as will the Foxes…Burnley 2-0 Leicester

Cardiff v Doncaster – Cardiff City Stadium

That’s right, Craig Bellamy appears to have strong-armed Manchester City into sending him home for a season to tear up a league incapable of neutralising him and got them to pay a large percentage of his wages…not bad for a club who by all rights should have been severely punished, if not liquidated, for repeated financial transgressions…Cardiff 4-1 Doncaster

Crystal Palace v Ipswich – Selhurst Park

Palace finally emerge from the administration mire…Roy Keane meanwhile is still cross about something, this time the lack of action in the transfer market…that cash from the Jon Walters sale is just sitting there too…buy someone, do it for the supporters! Crystal Palace 1-1 Ipswich

Hull v Watford – KC Stadium

Hull are skint, yet they managed to just procure the services of former Arsenal prodigy Jay Simpson…Watford snagged their own young tyro…some chap called Josh Walker…hmmm…Hull 2-0 Watford

Norwich v Swansea – Carrow Road

No, new honourary club ambassador Stephen Fry will not be suiting up for Paul Lambert, though we’d reckon his size and pleasant demeanour would flummox the visitors…Norwich 1-0 Swansea

Preston v Portsmouth – Deepdale

Gregg Roughley cockteased us with a missive on the increasing pressure facing Ferg Jr…a loss here condemns the Lillywhites to a positively dreadful start…Portsmouth have managed okay early doors despite meagre resources…Preston 0-1 Portsmouth

QPR v Scunthorpe – Loftus Road

Rangers are absolutely flying under Neil Warnock, cup defeat to Port Vale aside…ole Neil reckons they’re far from the finished article, but he’s fooling no one…Scunthorpe adorably claw and struggle…QPR 2-1 Scunthorpe

Reading v Nottingham Forest – Madejski Stadium

Languid starts from a pair of forecasted playoff sides…the seat under Billy Davies gets progressively warmer and the urge to bolt increases…Reading will be just fine with their stable of starlets…Reading 2-0 Nottingham Forest

Sunday

13.15p

Middlesbroughv Sheffield United – Riverside Stadium

Expect the sheen of Gary Speed’s debut a gaffer to be counteracted by the performance of a former Blades player, Matt Kilgallon…the defender on-loan from Sunderland is expected to go straight into Gordo’s side for a bit of calm and professionalism in the left back berth…it starts with this match – Mission: Promotion…Boro 2-0 Sheffield United

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1. Not Addicted – Casual Betting Advice For Round 4 Of The Championship
2. Rangers Ride On – Promoted Sides Diggin The New – Championship Roundabout / August
3. Championship Table Dance – Quick End Of Season Thoughts On All 24 Teams

What better time then to measure the remnants, reel off the rejects, and fawn over who we think Gibbo should be cutting summer transfer checks to?

Strachan’s Spine

Barry Robson – a man by which all others should be measured

Scott McDonald – gratefully, for us anyway, cut loose from Aussie national team before World Cup 2010…he can get fit w/ us and do the business next season

Steve McManus – still on loan from Celtic, Mick cancelled his New York holiday w/ the missus to join boot camp…everyone knows we want him permanently

Faithful Men

Chris Killen - a valuable target man…leading the Kiwi line in SA

Willo Flood – Vic says he looks like a product of an Irn Bru and crisps diet…we say a buzzing badass who can badger and harass the opposition

Emanuel Pogatetz – not under contract, but Gordo loves his leadership…he’ll have to take a massive pay cut to stay though

Brad Jones – can he shake the laughingstock label? probably not – some folks will never come around, but he did turn in some commanding performances after the recall…

Danny Coyne - didn’t really do anything wrong…was solid virtually every time called upon…scapegoated for the Derby display…still a competent deputy

Get To Know Them Better

Tony McMahon - foot injury torpedoed his audition for the new gaffer…surely he’ll love Macca’s grit the same way most supporters do?

Matthew Bates – fragility will be his undoing…decent player, and versatile…sadly he’s flimsier than the slinky top Lindsay Lohan donned in her recent court appearance

Seb Hines – is it just us, or has he played pretty well whenever called upon in the last three-plus years? he’s a tad dainty though too…

Testicles Are Descending

Jonathan Franks – love his pace…really developing as an exciting, attacking winger

Luke Williams – tremendous potential…we’ve said it before: everyone is pulling for this kid

Rhys Williams – a stalwart by comparison, being the first choice right back for Oz and all…really tidy in our midfield

Andy Halliday – a coup of sorts – we beat off some serious Prem competition for the lad…here’s hoping the assembly line of Livi talent continues

We’d Love To, But…

David Wheater – the rampant interest in Craig Dawson leads many to speculate Wheats can be had…it’s evolving into another Cattermole situation; get the lad away from the pressures of playing for his local pro club? hopefully not…unless we could trouser £5-6m for him

Gary O’Neil - free from the escalator clause shackles – we say he’s really available…like  that friend of your missus in from out of town, looking for a great guy because she has a schedule and everything…and sex on a first date happens sometimes….

Leroy Lita – don’t forget your top…

Justin Hoyte – duped by Voyeur again!

Jonathan Grounds – young…English…young…that’s about it

Julio Arca – you had a great run in the north-east of England mate…now go on back to Velez Sarsfield or something

Andrew Taylor – he has non-football ventures…good for him

Didier Digard – we like him…he is a bit of a pussy though

Joe Bennett – despite all the promise and ability, his auditions in both the left back and left midfield berths were largely woeful…how many more chances has he got?

Josh Walker – comments after a decent performance against Peterborough at home were painfully succinct: he doubts he has a future here

Not Gordo’s Type

Jeremie Aliadiere – more fragile than the Greek economy, just what is it he excels at? falling over and dreadful decision making top our list…

Chris Riggott – committed professional, until asked to take a pay cut…one of the last links to Eindhoven…

Marvin Emnes – 12 years into our Pro Evo franchise – working on a 4th straight league title thank you very much – and he’s still banging them in for Sparta Rotterdam…his form on the upcoming Bundesliga Zwei themed soccer sim should be scintillating

The Riddle Wrapped In A Mystery Flaky Pastry Crust, Drenched In Enigma

Ahmed Hossam Hussein Abdelhamid…Mido – rumour has it he’ll come back if no better offers are unearthed…we can’t see it…we can see McAllister and Pendrey park-benching him in training and Gordo raining blows on the husky malcontent…

Objects Of Affection

Craig Dawson – player of the season in League Two after helping Rochdale to their first promotion in aeons…initial offer of £750k knocked back

Garry Kenneth – Dundee Utd defensive midfielder that new boss Peter Houston is determined to hold on to…or at least force us to pay inflated fees

Craig Conway – the sexier of the Dundee Utd duo…25 year old winger who can add much needed depth and experience in MF…

Gary Hooper – Scunthorpe goal ace is still being tracked by several clubs…maybe just one more season of copious goals at this level though to be entirely certain he’s the real thing

Kevin Thomson – Rangers hard man – not very attack-minded: 4 goals in 151 league appearances…thank you Walter Smith for rejecting our recent overtures

Go On, Give ‘Em A Bell

Robert Koren - knows what it takes to get out of this league (and sadly how to get relegated straight back)…captain of Slovenia, classy midfielder…we’d have at least texted him already

Daniel Bogdanovic – Maltese goal falcon…14 goals for Barnsley this past season…ideal cover for Mac, don’t you think?

Liam Lawrence – a stretch for sure, especially after a bright display in the Ireland/Paraguay friendly earlier this week…thoughts of a Robbo/Lawro midfield already give us tingles in our trousers…probably won’t happen though….Mick McCarthy is slicking his hair and straightening his tie in advance to woo the lad…

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1. He’s On The Phone – Boro Boss Ratcheting Up For January Makeover
2. Stay Hungry – Still Plenty For Boro To Do
3. Crystal Palace Notes

Gordon Strachan admitted he was way past anger – join the club. Recycle all the pejoratives from past barren spells and failed opportunities…then multiply them by 18 months of seething anger. The valve on the pressure cooker was finally released…the sludge of an end product unleashed a fierce torrent. Of course that sort of emotion is natural…and to be expected – here’s hoping for the soon-to-be moment of clarity where we accept it and prepare to move forward. And speaking of…coming later: documenting the wreckage of a failed season…

The trifecta of live blog/Ali and Gilly/widely available streaming telecast of the 515p fixture emulsified into a creamy and rich coverage overload – he are the ranch-stained notes:

Jones; Hoyte, McManus, Grounds, Naughton; Robson, O’Neil, Williams, Arca; McDonald, Killen

• WBA – every outfield player has scored this season
• No Wheats – ankle ligament damage suffered in late-week training
• GON back – agreement reached w/ Pompey administrator – Vic reckons pay as you go for the last 3 games this year and the escalator kicks in come August
• Swansea/Pool/Leicester all win in earlier kickoffs – 7 pts down before the opening whistle
• Ref: Grant Hegley – Hertfordshire
• That’s a conservative jumper/suit combo from their gaffer – grey on grey w/ a pale blue tie
• 18 mins – not much in it – both sides probing for an opening
• Hoyte – 50^th Boro appearance
• Free kick in a good position on the left – GON delivers – Killen the target at the far post – goal kick
• WBA – only lost back to back once this season – 8 wins on the spin @ The Hawthorns
• Bednar hits the crossbar – poor from Naughton to lose is cheaply deep on the left – 27/28 mins
• Best Boro chance so far – Robbo finds space at the top centre of the box – can’t shape to shoot w/ pace – comfortable save Carson
• ‘Do you have the sat-nav?’ she’s a bit lost, Mrs. Ali is
• Would Arca be removed from the pitch on a stretcher or in a net? Deep thoughts from the live blog…
• Not making the best use of the ball – no incision
• Jonesey keeps us level – a few decent saves of note
• WBA – scored in every league match this season
• Mac goes wide! Ball from the left – laid off by Killen – beat Carson but couldn’t keep it on target – 39 mins
• 3 mins added
• Simon Cox puts WBA on top – smashes it into the top of the net after creating space – lovely knock down after the long raking pass from the back – WBA 1-0 Boro – 45 +
• HT WBA 1-0 Boro
• GG: goal was a hammer blow – couple of decent chances for us – fell asleep a bit on the build up to the goal – Mick got skinned by Cox – WBA looked a threat on set pieces w/ their size – Dorrans has been decent
• MD: Cox really turned Mick inside out – how many goals can we concede in the last 5/stoppage time of halves/matches?
• Whatever the final result, we won’t get tonked – Gordo won’t allow it – part of us being tougher and mentally stronger
• Carson off – Kiely on – Carson suffering after effects of the crash in the 1^st half
• Opening up in the first 8 mins of 2^nd half – Mulumbu and Bednar attacking well – Mick keeping things organised – Naughton has been alright at left back
• Killen on – Lita on
• Awful defending – WBA ping it about the box with ease – Bednar gets free and pokes home – WBA 2-0 – 55 mins
• Olsson and Mac tussle – some shoving and kicking there – summoned by the ref…
• YC GON
• This was the doomsday GON scenario…now the renegotiated fee to pay Pompey seems like a total waste
• YC Mick
• Grounds off – Riggott on – 70 mins – Grounds injured? Audition for Riggott?
• Totally disagree w/ this nonsense that the earlier results are affecting this rubbish performance…we must be stronger than that
• Jonesey preserves the 2 goal deficit – Koren/Bednar? – good save either way
• Cox off – Morrison on – what odds he scores?
• Williams off – Franks on – presumably Arca tucks inside
• 80 mins to earn first corner of the match
• Bednar off – to a standing ovation – I Miller on
• GG MOM – B Jones
• 86 mins – Lita shakes his marker and bears down on goal – a heavy touch and lack of vision doom the move
• Mac hits the bar! 90 mins
• 2 mins added
• FT WBA 2-0 Boro – Baggies celebrate their cemented promotion at home – Boro eliminated from playoffs
• 11-0 the last 4 matches v Baggies
• Players didn’t acknowledge fans after the match?
• Almost like being invited to someone else’s party? MD
• Riggott/Pogi/Grounds/JA – out of contract
• Killen/Naughton/Mick – on loan
• Gordo: embarrassed – not angry – you can deal w/ anger, way past that – not taking positives at all – not interested if earlier results affected us – he was really cross

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Additionally there’s the specter of wasting glorious opportunities to close ground on 6^th place. Cardiff are in anticipated freefall…Blackpool stuttered at The Hawthorns…Sheffield United and new entry Coventry drew at the weekend. At the risk of getting all revisionist, if Leroy Lita operates within the confines of normal football convention and plays to the whistle at Forest, and keeps his hand out of the flight path of an incoming ball, we’d be sat on 50 points w/ those Bluebirds and Tangerines. Bollocks to lessons learned. We have to be better. It’s that sort of brutal candour from the gaffer that will revive the culture and move this club on.

It was a multi-partner fete last match day. AV and the lads on the live blog to start…a sampling of the seductive duo of Alistair Brownlee and Gary Gill…then a final carnal pleasure: live streaming video scrambled from the Middle East. It was all quite tasteful and satisfying…

Coyne; Naughton, Wheater, McManus, Taylor; Robson, O’Neil, Williams, Arca; Killen, McDonald

• Mac is back – received the full spa treatment at Hurworth: injections, massages, aromatherapy, nonsensical new age music, and an overload of vitamin A
• His resiliency is tested early on – 2 mins in he’s elbowed by Coloccini whilst chasing a ball in the Geordie box – shouts for a penalty are waved away
• Toon have only won once away from home since December – at Vicarage Road against Watford on 27 Feb 10
• Mark Drury on the first 15: we’re competitive – fancying our chances against a reshuffled back four
• Newcastle get the opener after doing eff all so far – Gutierrez slots a ball through our central defenders and Peter Lovenkrands gets on the end and coolly slots home from 12 yards – Boro 0-1 Newcastle – 16 mins
• Wheats caught flat-footed on the ball that led to the goal – would prove to be an ambivalent day for the lad
• Gordon Strachan imploring Chris Killen to do more than look big – our full-backs are doing the job getting the ball in – he has to do better to hold up play
• First real chance for Boro – from a free kick Barry Robson unleashes an absolute thunderbolt – Steve Harper elongates to deny the Scot
• This is the 116^th meeting in the Tyne-Tees derby – Toon still edging it w/ 45 wins to Boro’s 35…26 draws for those liberal arts majors out there
• What a fantastic goal! Barry Robson – a name fast becoming synonymous with Teesside quality – with a stunner that reduces Steve Harper to spectator – from 20 yards out he arrows it inside the goal into the side netting – Boro 1-1 Newcastle – 36 mins
• More on the goal which conjured ‘absolute ecstasy’: not much back lift on the strike, and as he cut in it was doubtful he’d have a pop – a superlative strike
• Gary Gill wonders aloud, ‘did Pancrate really play for Paris Saint-Germain?’ Ali replies tersely, ‘allegedly’…keep those boys off the ale!
• Andrew Taylor so far: rather effective…
• Attendance – 27347 – (3743 Jawdees)
• HT – Boro 1-1 Newcastle
• GG says: we’ve been unconvincing defensively – haven’t dealt well w/ mazy runs from Lovenkrands, as evidenced by their goal – overall we’re the better side to this point
• The Riverside has been a cauldron thus far – the unveiling of a brilliant Trophy Virgins banner from the Red Faction has increased the steam
• Julio Arca feels it – the man quite familiar w/ north east derbies – gallops onto a delicious ball from GON down the left channel – his shot is smothered by Harper and out for a corner – just needed the same kind of flick his fellow countryman uses every now and then
• 67 minutes – more audacity from Arca as he intercepts a poor clearance and bursts forward for a shot – over, but encouraging
• Scott McDonald’s fitness levels aren’t a concern at all – he’s everywhere…Killen improving too
• Account opened! From a Robson free kick on the right – Killen climbs and nods it back across the box – Mac is there to swivel and score from inside the 6 – a lovely finish under duress – Boro 2-1 Newcastle
• Wheats cancels out an onrushing Leon Best in the 79^th minute – a superb sliding challenge…the highlight of a lackluster display
• Lacklustre what? Andy Carroll displays the kind of form that has historically killed us…in the reserves – he grabs and guides a cross from Tamas Kadar w/ his left boot, past a forlorn Danny Coyne – Boro 2-2 Newcastle
• Carroll gets a chance to blag a winner – Stephen McManus present to stifle a decent scoring opportunity – 86 mins
• Killen and his substitute, Lee Miller, draw the ire of the referee w/ their imposing and physical play
• 4 mins added
• GG MOM – Scott McDonald
• FT Boro 2-2 Newcastle
• Post match brief: ‘a real, real shame’…’the best performance under Gordon Strachan’, asserts Mark Drury

Derby – County that is – away on Tuesday…will results continue to go our way? Can we take advantage?

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The existing deficiencies were again magnified in the loss to Barnsley 2-1. Boro negotiated suspensions and injuries to field another disparate side: Jonathan Franks on the wide right of a previously little used, though historically Strachan-favoured 4-5-1 -Marcus Bent foundered alone up front – Arca was in over Yeates again – Hoyte dallied some more on the left, ahead of 3 relatively well compensated and rested recognized left-backs. Never mind that the former Arsenal man and drafted replacement for Luke Young provided the opening goal – a benign cross cum shot from 35 yards out, adamantly labeled by the under-achiever as intentional. The visitors, heartened by the jovial and voluble traveling supporters, excelled early on and bossed it. Barnsley regrouped after the break, as is their wont, and changed shape to create 2 goals that changed the course and rendered Boro craven again. Mark Robins is starting to harness and conjure some of that old Oakwell magic – the Tykes now rest 15^th in the table on 30 points, but w/ two massive games in hand. Capitalise on those and we’ll have a new entrant into the playoff discussion…

The live blog is still on official Christmas holiday in Tenerife, and our normally reliable BBC Tees radio feed was replaced w/ a freakish imitation of Revolution 9 -  turn me on dead man…

• Celebrated egoist Leroy Lita suspended for punch petulance at the weekend
• Chris Riggott officially back – partners w/ David Wheater in the heart of defence
• Mark Yeates – still studying that lump of coal inexplicably planted in his Christmas stocking
• Arca goes close early on, capping a fine flowing team move – the strong shot denied by a full-stretching Luke Steele
• Boro goal! from Justin Effing Hoyte!! his deep, high cross from the right wrong-foots Steele and nestles in the top corner of the net – Barnsley 0-1 Boro – 24 mins
• Solid defending from Wheats – perfectly timed intervention in the box to stymie Hugo Colace
• No half-time ruminations – see above
• Barnsley reshape post-break – failure to clear a corner at the near post results in Stephen Foster heading the Tykes level – Barnsley 1-1 Boro – 49 mins
• GON tries to restore the lead quickly – latches on to a decent ball from Bent, but chips his effort cruelly over the bar
• Where is Julio Arca? 58 mins – Daniel Bogdanovic is given space/time to cross on the left – the delivery is met by an onrushing Hugo Colace to beat a helpless Danny Coyne – Barnsley 2-1 Boro
• Luke Williams makes his Boro bow – comes on for Jonathan Franks in the 73^rd – the little ginger doppelganger is the youngest senior debutant since good old Tommy Murray against Sheffield Wednesday in 1905…ah memories
• Emil Halfredsson – Icelandic winger – very impressive for the hosts
• Boro start to hibernate for the last 15 minutes or so until a quick pair of half-chances for the young starlet – a fierce Adam Johnson drive clips off the 16 year olds shin and painfully close to the Barnsley goal – right before the death he has another pop – better, but not enough for rescue
• With no GG to lead us, MOM honours go to Chris Riggott – solid in his return and a bit of a calming influence on our Redcar Rock

League duties take a back seat this weekend – Manchester Cini and their bespoke new gaffer bring the quarter-billion pound novelty – and possibly future relegated step-child – to the Riverside for the FA Cup. And it’s on the telly proper!

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2 goals in the first 23 minutes deflated the Riverside and the paradigm of phantom entitlement was born. Fans were too fucked off to even stay the full 90 minutes as the ignominy became almost insurmountable. We managed to stay up, avoiding the further notoriety of being relegated on the back of a crushing cup defeat, but it was a sea change nevertheless. 21 months later we languish out of the top flight, and the direction of the club, or absence of it, has become emblematic of the current plight. Gordon Strachan didn’t just inherit a depleted squad, or severe financial restrictions, or an enormous task to get us back up. Bequeathed to the gaffer was a fan base so morose at the cumulative impact of those 21 months – indifferent to cash constraints and fiscal restructuring. We found the year zero – the big bang, as it were – the moment that the mood changed on Teesside, for the detriment of club and community.

Much like how fortunes changed that fateful Sunday morning (here anyway), Cardiff come to town hot off a 2-0 pasting at the Hawthornes to second place West Brom. The latest Boro home blunder rendered a 3-0 tonking from Blackpool. Divergent paths. The Riverside riddle needs to be solved – a result on Sunday can tell the televised world that we do have the bottle, the balls, the resolve, to make a fight of it and remain in contention, w/ clubs like Cardiff, for the escape hatch marked UP.

Gordo is surely cogitating squad permutations as we type. Will there be an early start to the enforced gardening leave for Sean St Ledger that will see him miss the rest of December? Do Chris Riggott and Emanuel Pogatetz reunite in the centre of defence? How about a recall for Danny Coyne? Too many questions – which is troubling at this stage. We’re witnessing first hand how clubs can stutter and vacillate at this level. The quest for a winning formula leading to a rich vein of form is still elusive. Winning Sunday may not catalyse that, but it certainly can help exorcise those old demons.

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Leroy Lita was rewarded for a recent spell of good performances with 2 goals – Gary O’Neil, Mark Yeates and Dave Kitson rounded off the scoring. Yeatsie was simply awesome filling in for Adam Johnson – unable to travel to London due to a serious family illness – with his indefatigability. Pilloried for being out of his depths at this level, this was a shift emblematic of his committed approach so desired and appreciated earlier this season. For Kitson, it’s 3 in 2 games, and understandably the club is focusing considerable effort on trying to extend the Stoke City strikers loan. Expect a Save Our Promotion Ginger Retention Scheme to take off any moment now.

The fiver of goals means extended notes from the match:

• QPR were wasteful early – dominated large spells, primarily w/ north London loanees Adel Taarabt (Spurs) and Jay Simpson (Arsenal)
• Fine first half for Yeates – rattled crossbar, earned the free kick leading to the first goal, and surged forward with regularity
• Lita and Kitson really building on what they enjoyed when at Reading – linked up to create good scoring chances – a redux of the Yak and Duke days when opposing managers were quick in the postgame pressers to admit our strikers were hard to handle?
• Second week running that we have an iron-clad pen waived off??!
• Good stuff from Radek Cerny – former Spurs man has worked hard to deny great scoring chances in the first half – Boro could easily have more than 1
• We get that penalty early in the second half – QPR handles it in a busy box – Lita emphatically dispatches it and promptly gets carded for stripping and taunting the QPR dugout
• 2 goal lead lasted mere moments – more capitulation?
• LL gets his brace – Yeates unlocked the striker for his second goal on 60 minutes
• Arca almost gets the 4^th – multiple bites of the apple for the Argey repelled by Cerny – another QPR hand ball infringement goes unnoticed
• Wayne Routledge blows a golden chance for a QPR lifeline – Jonesey commits his most egregious error of the match but gets away with it
• Lita searching for the hat trick – piledrives the woodwork and GON tucks away – 4-1 Boro
• Tough love shown to Didier Digard before replacing GON – GS2 reported extra firm to his Frenchman before the match too
• Yeatsie selfishly gets his for the 5^th as Boro bag the points!!
• Gary Gill MOM: Leroy Lita

Absolutely chuffed w/ the result – Blackpool on Tuesday – more later…

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Boro hope to have the correct kit for their clash w/ the club Mick Jones followed as a boy, QPR – currently 5^th in the table after a profitable October propelled their form. Best of all, we haven’t gotten a result at Loftus Road in the last 16 visits. Still boasting some of the finest away credentials anywhere in the league, this is a chance for us to absorb some of the attractive football produced by Jim Magilton’s side and deliver a performance that can resuscitate the wallowing support base and inject vitality into a stuttering campaign for promotion. Predicting the side remains temporarily suspended – if forced to prognosticate at least one change it would be the return of Rhys Williams from suspension due to yellow card accumulation. The early week filibuster surrounding the unsettled back four continues to smoulder – irrespective, the Aussie lad warrants inclusion at RB berth…

Notes and reaction will follow after the match – World Cup draw ruminations as well

England + USA in the same group = one less 3am rise!!

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This is from our tea-stained, yellowed-from-chain-fag-smoke handwritten notes:

• Digard not even on the bench – Emnes being marginalized too – the jewels of the 2008 summer transfer window are fading from view
• With so much of the offense channeled through Adam Johnson, how could we even envisage replacing him?
• Danny Butterfield was churned often by Johnno – why didn’t we exploit him more after he picked up a booking?
• Took some time for Isaiah Osbourne to get stuck in – much better in the 2^nd half, winning balls and exerting more attacking pressure
• That old whinger Warnock may be right when boasting of Julian Speroni as best keeper in the division
• Gary Gill says get the ball to the strikers earlier and minimize the gap between midfield and the final third
• 4 on 1 – Leroy Lita had Johnno, Hoyte and Bent caterwauling for the ball, and he goes for glory and pisses all over the best chance of the match
• More corner-related goal gifting: Palace pulsated into a counter attack, Hoyte couldn’t get a head to cross, ball falls for Ambrose…bang…down 1-0
• Square-peggism – Arca on for Hoyte, Rhys Williams to right back, Gary O’Neil moves central, Arca back to the right flank
• Jonathan Franks – on for Lita – spanks a great chance that was saved by Speroni
• Frenetic finish in the 4 minutes of stoppage time, but Boro in the end cannot crack the Crystal Palace conundrum

Forest next on the 21^st…

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The Gareth Southgate Memorial Starting XI included Julio Arca in the right midfield role, and Emanuel Pogatetz, making his return after 6 months out following knee surgery, at left-back. Arca RM and the Mad Dog LB. Oh dear. Arca astoundingly exceeded expectations, providing stability on the right and delivering a succession of good crosses – the best of the lot being a glorious needle that Marcus Bent should have buried…

Other notes gleaned from our live multi-pronged broadcasting attack:

• The Arca RM experiment would work better if Justin Hoyte occasionally used his biggest strength, pace, to bomb down the right flank

• No Joe Bennett…anywhere

• GS2 quite animated early on in the technical area – gesticulating to Arca, and imploring Marvin Emnes to be less mobile…huh?

• Plymouth are very organized on the counter-attack, and they’re producing enough of them to harangue the Boro defence

• Horrific injury to Pogi – he clashed heads w/ Argyle defender David Gray and lay supine for several minutes, ultimately stretchered off – the initial prognosis is 6 weeks off after recent cheekbone surgery

• Marcus Bent made a fist of it in his 45 minute debut, but his lack of match fitness prevented the kind of fluidity and brawn that punctuates his game

• Was Wheater woeful in defending the attack that produced the goal? We lacked any visuals, and Ali seemingly sugar-coated it and highlighted the deft finish from Jamie Mackie

• And in the tradition of his Stewart Downing emulation, Adam Johnson was atrocious in his penalty attempt that could have salvaged a point – Sean St Ledger was imperious in pillaging forward to earn it, but after the earlier miss at Scunny it must be time Johnno relinquished those duties

Another week with his new boys, more time for Gordo to imprint his brand of football on these impressionable minds…

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