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Checking In On The Championship – Important Questions and Daft Quips – Part Two

BA — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 03:33:10 +0000

Here it is – part two of our incoherent thoughts concerning the upcoming season in the Championship…important players, exceptional gaffers – some quite libidinous, and selectively bold predictions:

Boro – ‘an ambitious football club’…it feels terrific saying and hearing that…a proper half-cocked look ahead to the new campaign should be available later this week

Millwall – a bit of an unknown – I reckon you get beat up pretty quickly if you stray too far from the New Den, but as for the footie, there’s Steve Morison and Neil Harris banging in goals, and the omnipotent on-field leadership of club captain Paul Robinson…Kenny Jackett has plenty of options in his arsenal…a comfortable mid-table finish wouldn’t be a gross overachievement considering…

Norwich – tremendous turnaround in the last 12 months: get thrashed 7-1 by Colchester, at home, upon their League One return, sack manager Bryan Gunn , hire Paul Lambert – the man responsible for the beatdown that prompted outrage across Norfolk – then go and win the fecking league and get promoted back to the Championship…Old Farm derbies versus Ipswich Town return…Wes Hoolahan is a natural talent on the attacking left, and Grant Holt absolutely murdered goals last season…Simeon Jackson was brought in from Gillingham to add depth, and maybe even some competition for club top scorer, wresting it from the captain number nine…

Nottingham Forest – Billy Davies nervously laughs off the perceived incompetence of his advisory board…he wants players, can’t get no money for them, then casually bends the ear of anyone willing to listen about the whole injustice of it all…a hearty favourite for first-to-get-the-sack if things go pear-shaped early at the City Ground…his accomplishments at this level are well-respected, it’s just he doesn’t tend to stay around very long…

Portsmouth – in a world of fucking hurt…their North American death trip was bad beyond belief, and their rumoured to be hit with a 20 point deduction – possibly even liquidation…those near and dear to the club are bracing for another precipitous drop…but hey, at least Kanu will still be around…

Preston - Alan Irvine was harshly dismissed during a sour patch, and boy wonder Darren Ferguson swooped in amid some controversy: tapping up his former players…some of their wags too if the virtually gossip was to be believed…Ferg Jr couldn’t spin any immediate magic, even with the rich loan resources afforded thanks to purple papa…up until now his time in charge has focused on spouting post-match nonsense and eliminating those ill suited for his style of play

QPR – old Neil Warnock took the challenge – expertly disguised as a satchel full of bundles of crisp notes – across town and went poaching his old Crystal Palace and Sheffield United players…Clint Hill, Shaun Derry, Paddy Kenny, players he’s comfortable with…sounds like a transfer policy Boro fans are learning to embrace…and it’s fun listening to him talk…affable, controversial, frank…

Reading – prime contender for automatic promotion – a fantastic array of skilled and admired players including Gylfi Sigurosson, Jobi McAnuff, Shane Long, Jimmy Kebe, Adam Federici…the change in fortune from when Brian McDermott took over is a sweet confection Reading fans will not want to relinquish…they’re expected to hit the ground running and challenge all season for the title

Scunthorpe – is their magic act coming to a conclusion? Gary Hooper was finally flogged, and Paul Hayes went to Preston…Nigel Adkins will have to buckle the belt a tad tighter this term – staying up will be another small miracle in North Lincolnshire

Sheffield United - they certainly do embrace the style that typically embodies this league: gritty, robust, and brawny…ostensible skills: none really come to mind, other than kicking lumps out of the opposition and boring the pants off of spectators…Daniel Bogdanovic is in from Barnsley for goals, and the man Kevin Blackwell heralded as his January transfer target, Mark Yeates, remains in the fold…

Swansea – the dashing, jet-setting, champagne-drinking Iberian playboy that casually hits on all the wives and girlfriends has gone, off to pillage the birds of Leicester…from what we hear of new gaffer Brendan Rodgers the latent narcissism will still pervade – a Guardian poster recently quipped that the failed Reading boss would marry himself if it were legal…the slick and caressing passing game first introduced by ESPN heartthrob Roberto Martinez shall remain, it’s now the embraced ideology decrees chairman Huw Jenkins, with or without predatory full back Angel Rangel, target of future Championship opponents Blackpool…

Watford – the key for Malky Mackay is the loan market – if big four starlets like Tom Cleverley and Henri Lansbury, or any other of their contemporaries, continue their on-the-job training at Vicarage Road, then perhaps the Hornets can battle for a near-mid table finish…otherwise, the slog could be long and rough…ludicrous prediction: Gareth Southgate will manage this club before the end of the season…

Boro Fever Overcomes Preston And Midfield Cover For A Month

BA — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 04:54:41 +0000

Credit Preston for trying it. The tested script to banjax Boro at home reads: put them under the cosh for the first 15 mins – let the supporters shower them in abuse – watch them shrivel – score as much as you need. It used to work; not anymore though. Nine on the bounce unbeaten in the league – five wins – and a return to modest respectability. Hate and doubt still persist, with the playoff hopes flickering harmlessly, but there remains cause for optimism…

Cheers to the lads in the virtual end for being our conduit to the match Tuesday - our latent paranoia had the boss increasingly leery of the note-scribbling and fierce application-toggling on the work PC during Derby, so we experimented w/ an unfiltered micro-blogesque approach on the mobile:

Jones/Hoyte/Wheats/Mick/Pogi/Franks/Robbo/Rhys/Bennett/Miller/Killen

Cameron Park on the bench
No Mac or GON
Tight hamstring for Mac – not too serious
SSL roundly booed on first touch
Wheats header – 3 mins – from Robbo cross…harmlessly over…
12 mins – not much happening @ all
Miller goes close on 15…square pass from Franks foraging down the right…shot goes wide
23 mins – 2nd hand ball call - Robbo before the Wallace free kick…Killen this time
PNE pen shout as Mick floored a tricking Wallace near 20 mins
GOAL – Killen from a Robbo beauty cross – off the post – 29 mins…
BBC gossip says he wants to stay also…
YC Darren Carter – 31 mins
YC Ross Wallace – 32 mins
YC Mick – 40 mins
Wallace dangerous w/ pace and flair + the thumping free kicks
HT Boro 1-0 PNE
2nd half – Bennett off – Naughton on
Other scores: Pool tonking Swansea/Brizzle Barnsley goal explosion/Toon up on Donny/Plymouth over Town/Scunny murdering Posh 4 nil
Boro start brightly: Franks/Naughton/Wheats all have a go @ A Lonergan early in the half
B Jones winning them back? Early fave for MOM 2nd match running…
Pogi off – Tayls on – 58 mins
Brown and Hart off – Jones/Parkin on – 63 mins…will we weather a tactical change from the opposition?
Att – 16794 (560 away)
Miller dreadful at holding up the long balls we’ve been reduced to…he’s off – LL on – 71 mins
Another PNE pen shout waved off? Mick foul on Carter? Away fans go mental…
3 mins added
GG MOM – B Jones
GOAL – Boro kill it off – Franks tucks it in after a hilarious mishit clearance from SSL - Boro 2-0 PNE
FT Boro 2-0 PNE

Gordo said post match that sometimes it has nothing to do with football – doubtful he said as much during a reportedly blistering half-time bollocking. The following performance and result – coupled w/ the outcomes of other fixtures – ensured the visit to Vicarage Road is as must-win as the last. Jay O’Shea is in on loan from Birmingham City and goes straight into the squad. Serendipitous on two fronts: Gordo is maintaining his och-aye ties w/ countryman Alex McLeish – and the Irish lad was a rumoured target of Gaz. Alas, pipped again by a club consolidating in the Prem positions we used to occupy…

These Things Take Time – Boro Fall To Pilfering Plymouth

BA — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:54:22 +0000

To effectively mould his new side into genuine promotion contenders Gordon Strachan will need time. And patience. And a large sum of cash. All aspects were abundantly – painfully so – clear in another bumbling home under-performance v Plymouth Saturday at the Riverside. Additionally, the new gaffer must decipher the ubiquitous park-the-bus approach adopted by many of the new visitors from a new league, one that is decidedly more difficult to crack when actually immersed in it.

The Gareth Southgate Memorial Starting XI included Julio Arca in the right midfield role, and Emanuel Pogatetz, making his return after 6 months out following knee surgery, at left-back. Arca RM and the Mad Dog LB. Oh dear. Arca astoundingly exceeded expectations, providing stability on the right and delivering a succession of good crosses – the best of the lot being a glorious needle that Marcus Bent should have buried…

Other notes gleaned from our live multi-pronged broadcasting attack:

The Arca RM experiment would work better if Justin Hoyte occasionally used his biggest strength, pace, to bomb down the right flank

No Joe Bennett…anywhere

GS2 quite animated early on in the technical area – gesticulating to Arca, and imploring Marvin Emnes to be less mobile…huh?

Plymouth are very organized on the counter-attack, and they’re producing enough of them to harangue the Boro defence

Horrific injury to Pogi – he clashed heads w/ Argyle defender David Gray and lay supine for several minutes, ultimately stretchered off – the initial prognosis is 6 weeks off after recent cheekbone surgery

Marcus Bent made a fist of it in his 45 minute debut, but his lack of match fitness prevented the kind of fluidity and brawn that punctuates his game

Was Wheater woeful in defending the attack that produced the goal? We lacked any visuals, and Ali seemingly sugar-coated it and highlighted the deft finish from Jamie Mackie

And in the tradition of his Stewart Downing emulation, Adam Johnson was atrocious in his penalty attempt that could have salvaged a point – Sean St Ledger was imperious in pillaging forward to earn it, but after the earlier miss at Scunny it must be time Johnno relinquished those duties

Another week with his new boys, more time for Gordo to imprint his brand of football on these impressionable minds…

Shipbuilding – Strachan Ambitious To Get Boro Sailing

BA — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 05:24:36 +0000

It was so nonchalant and casual. ‘Of course I do’ the simple retort offered when bluntly asked if he could take Boro back up. It wasn’t patented Gordon Strachan acuity at the official unveiling on Monday, more of a direct and refreshingly cutting candor about the past, present, and immediate future. For a man who says he has nothing to prove, surely the challenge of resurrecting a club damned by relegation offers an occasion to demonstrate more managerial nous. Coventry, Southampton, Celtic, and now Boro – what bit of magic can he conjure on Teesside?

Much has been speculated about a potential transfer wish list waved about upon during a meet-and-greet outside the Riverside – Federico Macheda, Andy Griffin, Hayden Mullins, Kenny Miller – it’s exciting to hear new names the gaffer can actually attract versus the dross associated w/ Southgate’s Boro in various rumour mills. And there is a tangible buzz at Hurworth says Rhys Williams, ‘Training has been good. It’s disciplined and at a higher tempo.’ Not quite a lacerating indictment of the former platoon leader, but nothing really groundbreaking either – results were enough to ascertain things were previously askew in that sector.

GS2 seems to be the accepted moniker, though on the gamer tangent AV did drop a ‘Wii fella’ on us that produced audible laughter. He’ll make his full debut in front of a revitalised crowd Saturday v Plymouth. The moribund mood has lifted, the air is cleaner, the parmo tastes better, and the lager is smoother. Exciting times are expected at this new Boro…

Diggin The New – Strachan Set To Assume Control At Boro

BA — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:31:10 +0000

Like in the film Snatch, when the neatly shorn hostess at the bookmakers said to Sol and Vincent in upon their proclamation to empty Brick Top’s till , ‘All…bets…are…off’. Gordon Strachan is expected to be revealed as the new manager of Middlesbrough Football Club after the untimely – but probably well overdue – sacking of Gareth Southgate. The need to sort out personal affairs, and ambivalence about the gig, are said to have contributed to the bizarre execution of the move by Steve Gibson. It’s immaterial as SG bucks his own convention by opting for managerial experience; it also can do wonders to rehabilitate the fractured relationship w/ a fan base who motivated change in a positive and productive way says Paul Doyle. Some may still remember Strachan as the one who shanghaied a potential move to Teesside as a player by saying he didn’t fancy the area…and he’s from Edinburgh!

Here’s the tentative schedule for events this coming weekend:

Strachan introduced at Hurworth most likely tomorrow
Colin Cooper acts as caretaker for Preston away on Saturday
Strachan observes from the stands and takes official control Monday

Number 7 on Gibbo’s speed dial, Anthony Vickers, has this situation in his pocket – Eric Paylor has a more multimedia go at the news and subsequent reaction…

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/audio/2009/oct/22/football-weekly-extra-champions-league

This Is Hardcore – Southgate Sacked After Boro Win

BA — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:54:02 +0000

Gareth Southgate has been relieved of his managerial duties with Middlesbrough Football Club, with immediate effect…

Let the carousel of conjecture commence – more later…

One More Time – Boro Get It Wrong At Home Again

BA — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 05:22:17 +0000

It’s not just the points wasted, or the failure to make up critical ground whilst the other promotion candidates falter, it’s the inability to reward the home fans and make a concerted effort to win back affection via results. For a change, Boro did incessantly pressure the opposition goal – 17 total shots and 15 corners, a stat line worthy of former Boro/Arsenal clashes where we managed to blag undeserved points.

The match cast technology on trial at the Gazette, coupled w/ the scavenger hunt clues to quality streaming audio of the BBC Radio Tees feed, unfettered us…here are some of the notes and unanswered questions garnered from a keen forensic eye:

Leroy Lita was bought to score goals; he cannot, however, dictate an aerial assault and produce those goals from his bonce; each ball into him via that method hopelessly squanders good spells of possession and exploration

Julio Arca brought on for Mark Yeates – why??? Yeatsie was having a great shift, and Arca was immediately shifted to left back, and Justin Hoyte assumed duties on the right midfield flank of a hastily implemented 3-5-2…the square-peggism persists

The Riverside was completely bereft of any tangible electricity, barring the 10 minute spell to start the second half; the disallowed goal from SSL thoroughly deflated any residual enthusiasm and the chorus of negativity commenced right at the final whistle

Of course there is a mutual culpability in the third item, but during this relationship rough patch it’s the club who must initiate the foreplay. It has been us carnally surrendering at regular intervals, but no more. We have needs, desires, and wants. They are not that unreasonable, and we can find them elsewhere, so you better start appreciating what you’ve got sleeping next to you…

Bringing It All Back Home – Boro Hope To Start A Rehab

BA — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 02:05:34 +0000

First team proper football returns to the Riverside after an exhausting hiatus. Watford, currently 15^th and just 3 points off a playoff place, beckon Saturday as Boro remain determined to remedy their malignant home form thus far this campaign. It was a point of contention raised by lurking back room consultant Alan Smith, who apparently went all technical w/ the Power Point to demonstrate how unity between club and support has a high probability of home success. Too bad this effort missed the cut-off for this years Nobel prizes…go get ‘em next time, eh?

Look for Boro to build on the Reading success w/ a largely unchanged side from 2 weeks back, the only real variable being the state of Rhys Williams – if he can’t go then Didier Digard should be cleared for a full return to partner w/ GON in the midfield. Up front, the goal burst from Leroy Lita against his former club has Gaz salivating so much it’ll obscure Jeremie Aliadiere’s sobriquet printed on team sheet just above Lethal Leroy. Johnno and Yeatesie will round out the forwards, while the back should remain McMahon/Wheater/SSL/Bennett…and unless someone stamps on his hands w/ those screw-in sharp metal studs accidentally during pre-match, Brad Jones will be between the sticks…

Watford haven’t lost in their last 4 away matches, but they haven’t won on Teesside since 1992 at Ayresome…more match preview here…we’re looking forward to this…and this

Wake Up – Boro Back To Business After This Endless International Break

BA — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 04:43:55 +0000

Christ, it was so barren, so long, that AV resorted to tattooed interpretations for technical content…and it still attracted the usual swarm of Boro banter. Club stewards, editorial ambassadors, restless supporters – all equally afflicted w/ the prolonged malaise induced by the extended end of World Cup qualification. But the majority of that business is done, and club football makes a triumphant return this weekend…12 days and counting since Boro last took to the pitch.

Time for a quick review of all the pertinent happenings:

The club was fortunate to have limited exposure to those invariable international-duty injuries. Sean St Ledger was most prominent, putting in two full shifts for the Republic of Ireland…the crest of which was his horizontally headed goal late on v Italy, momentarily taking the Irish top of their group and on to South Africa. Momentarily mind, for the on loan centre-back was at the center of the defensive lapse which allowed the Italians to strike late and earn the draw that cemented the invitation to defend their crown. Ireland clinched a in the controversially seeded playoff berth. We always knew we’d have at least a couple of internationally seasoned centre-backs, but surely David Wheater was expected to be the other one. Elsewhere, Rhys Williams travelled thousands of miles for fuck all…not even a kick in the Socceroos friendly v the Netherlands and Asian Cup qualifier v Oman. A full psych panel is ordered upon his return to Teesside…

The Talking Boro panel reemerges to pick over the carrion of the first quarter season down Championship way…the setting and presentation improves, but overall the production values remain woeful…

Gaz was under the hot lights of the Hurworth canteen whilst Eric Paylor played Bad Cop Worse Cop…

The Adam Johnson situation needs sorting…quick

So that’s where Gary O’Neil naffs off to when Pompey or some other emotionally stimulating opponent is on the docket…

There’s so much more we’re sure, but the yearning was too much…we shut down for spells, our minds happily wandered. The focus has returned though…it never really went anywhere…the Watford/Derby home double awaits…

Life During Wartime – Boro Right The Ship At Reading

BA — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 04:31:23 +0000

The hegemony asserted so far away from home continued. ‘There’s only one Gareth Southgate’ boomed from the travelling support; Gaz was giddy enough to give an acknowledging wave, and for the time being, the mounting pressure on the Boro boss subsided. A positive result paves the way to a hopefully-productive international break – anything less than the full 3 points would have merely abetted more conjecture and pejoratives – weapons-grade ordnance lobbed from multiple angles. Louise Taylor proliferates on the story line from late last week, raising valid points that infer some of the flop signings – namely Mido and Afonso Alves – were engineered from above and imposed on the ostensible minority of the fabled triumvirate.

Gaz has earned notable commendations from Arsene Wenger, and even Thierry Henry suggested the panacea for Barcelona to unlock Manchester Utd during the Champions League in 2008: play like Boro (after the sizzling 2-2 draw that offered the brightest glimpse of Alves’ talents). You’d think a principled and generally respected young manager would be recalcitrant to work under such tight constrictions…full credit to him for not exploiting it as an excuse for circumstances leading to the current position. For now, the rancor is a bit muted – winning will breed that. There’s still a chance to get it right, but when you say that it’s your job to manage the club through crisis you cannot alienate and become adversarial.

After the break, Boro get an immediate chance to right recent home wrongs: visits from Watford and Derby County in a 3 day spell. Just 7 out of 15 points collected so far at the Riverside this season – future consistency and success is going to be based on home form between now and May. How many teams out there rake over 70% of points available away points? And any machinations of Andy O’Brien and/or Nigel Reo-Coker will go unfulfilled – Bolton won’t loan their centre-half and Villa rubbished any reports of the pugilistic midfielder moving north east.

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Checking In On The Championship – Important Questions and Daft Quips – Part Two

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