Here’s another go for you to mock and lampoon…

10 Sep 11

3.00p

Barnsley v Leicester – Oakwell

Good form by both clubs as they headed into the break: Barnsley picked up 4 points away to Reading and Millwall – Leicester outlasted league leaders Southampton after Bury-ing the Shakers in the Carling Cup – Sven will hope that south Yorkshire is the spot where his aggressive promotion thrust truly begins – Barnsley 0-2 Leicester

Blackpool v Ipswich – Bloomfield Road

The Ipswich goal hemorrhage stopped against limp Leeds, temporarily at least – Blackpool have the application and attacking intent to hang Southampton/Posh type figures on a battered and unsure visiting side, Keith Andrews heroics or not – Blackpool 3-1 Ipswich

Bristol City v Brighton – Ashton Gate

Gus Poyet gets full credit for the league’s most glamorous signing during the transfer window: former Spain international Vicente is drafted in to bamboozle and bedazzle the craggy Championship opposition – Keith Millen’s biggest coup was managing to retain Nicky Maynard and Albert Adomah for a few more months, which is nice – Bristol City 1-2 Brighton

Burnley v Middlesbrough – Turf Moor

From the original #twittersmog: What’s black and red, fast as fuck and on fire?…. Marvin Emnes – Dreadlocked Dynamite snatched player of the month accolades to continue his re-education – the Clarets have a new wing weapon w/ the capture of former West Ham whelp Junior Stanislas – Boro hope to keep the away magic bubbling – Burnley 2-2 Boro

Cardiff v Doncaster – Cardiff City Stadium

Respect to Cardiff for their plans to honour fallen supporter Mikey Dye – rest in peace sir, and godspeed to your loved ones and friends – Cardiff 2-0 Donny

Leeds v Crystal Palace – Elland Road

Awful times for Dirty Leeds supporters: fighting a vile cretin owner who has scant regard for their opinions and contributions on one front, and bemoaning the lack of imagination and ambition in the transfer market on another – letting Max Gradel bid adieu for St Etienne is the latest unforgivable misdeed – Palace aim to build on their positive start and their new found transfer acumen: Chester born striker Antonio Pedroza was snagged for a small fee from Mexican top-flight side Jaguares – great business for a player linked to London’s bigger clubs like Spurs and Chelsea – Leeds 1-1 Palace

Peterborough v Hull – London Road

Spritely striker Martyn Waghorn looks to make his Hull debut – the Leicester loanee is tasked with improving the anemic league goals tally up to this point – Posh have no such problems finding the back of the net, even with former hitman Aaron McLean lining up for Big Nige this time round – Posh 2-1 Hull

Reading v Watford – Madejski Stadium

Battle at the bottom here, at least until new signings Kaspar Gorkss, Joseph Mills and Adam Le Fondre get the hang of the Reading way being forged by Brian McDermott – Watford has a new plaything of their own in Joe Garner, who will be expected to develop a quick working relationship with the magical Marvin Sordell – Reading 2-0 Watford

Southampton v Nottingham Forest – St. Mary’s

‘I’m not quitting’ is a forceful and empowering statement to stifle the baying mobs, unless you’ve only been in the job for 3 months – fucking Forest can’t even get him a company mobile to use from the bench! Southampton 3-0 Trees

West Ham v Portsmouth – Upton Park

Imagine the erection on Allardyce during this one: long punt after long punt, Liam Lawrence getting the shit kicked out of him, and Joey O’Brien following orders to ‘lamp that giant ginger cunt son’ – West Sam 1-0 Pompey

5.20p

Coventry v Derby – Ricoh Arena

What’s more bizarre: Tony Mowbray actually identifying Lucas Jutkiewicz as the primary striker target, or Andy Thorn being a recalcitrant bastard refusing to sell? And save the bullshit about needing the Parkin move from Cardiff to go through first – Coventry 1-3 Derby

11 Sep 11

12.30p

Birmingham v Millwall – St. Andrew’s

Chris Hughton is still trying to tie up a loan for Newcastle headache Nile Ranger – not just to play up front, but to reminisce about the good old promotion days when this league seemed more gentle and innocent – Millwall, meanwhile, carry on in their quest to be the least remarkable side in the top half of the Champo, and Kenny Jackett is all right with that – Birmingham 1-1 Millwall

The early-season road labyrinth continues at Leeds. Boro could use a league win to establish some credible promotion momentum. Simon Grayson just wants his charges to play a competent, composed 90 minutes. Southampton enjoyed a painless re-entry to the Championship at their expense, and local rivals Bradford City provided exceptionally stiff competition in the league cup at midweek.

Marvin Emnes has blossomed early for four goals. Tony Mowbray has made an early, indelible impression propelling the Dutch dynamite into an August frenzy. Injuries to Davide Somma and Luciano Becchio have the home gaffer trolling for steady replacements – maybe it’s a chance for former Boro target Ross McCormack to finally shine?

Official Materials

Can’t seem to find a match pack from the hosts – have a bit of the BBC preview to compensate for its absence – Boro maintain journalistic excellence with their own homemade digital dossier

Know Your Enemy

From the assembly line of talent at Livingston, Robert Snodgrass! He’s of the generation that produced Graham Dorrans, James McPake and Boro whelp Andy Halliday. The inimitable Leeds website has him listed as a striker – we always thought of him as a van der Vart-type roaming playmaker…

Danger Man

Ivorian attacking midfielder Max Gradel. His 18 goals last term warranted a bevy of interest from various suitors – he’s opted to repay the club’s faith by sticking around to terrorise opposing defenders. A valuable chip for the board to have if they are inclined to cash in…

On Offer

A win for either helps maintain a workable gap between whoever the premature leaders are after the weekend. Boro travel to Oakwell on Tuesday before heading back to Teesside for a date with Birmingham. Leeds host Hull before a jaunt down to West Sam. Neither side wants to stunt the growth of a playoff/promotion push by carrying on into three weeks into the season still searching for your first three point haul.

Leroy Lita: for reasons still unknown, newly promoted Swansea want an ex-Boro powered strike force to see them through…an original offer of £500,000 was beat back recently, and rightly so…Lethal has thrived under Mogga…and QPR were gonna pay at least three times that amount back in January…fuck off Huw

Marvin Emnes: one landmark goal in a South Wales derby and we’ll never hear the fucking end of it…Brendan Rodgers really fancies our dreadlocked Dutchie, who should have never went on loan there in the first place…it would take a remarkable offer to let him leave…something close to the £3.2m we forked over to Rotterdam

Andrew Taylor: the veracity of this one is in question…it’s only been resurrected cos Malky Mackay got the Cardiff job, and ostensibly would have more dosh to fill his Tayls-shaped ambition, but aren’t Cardiff a financial mess? it’s no matter, Mogga loves the lad and really wants him to sign a new deal before 30 June 11

Julio Arca: it was an anti-climactic exit for the Argie…he hobbled off to his homeland for a knee procedure before the close of the season…his Supporter’s Player of the Year award was accepted remotely, and there’s certain resignation that he’s determined to find a last deserved payday…as long as it’s not at Wigan

Rhys Williams: casual rumours at the surface, nothing more…there’s the longstanding interest from Owen Coyle…the wild machinations that Arsenal is in for him, willing to come north for a money-spinning friendly as part of any deal…any offer would have to be gobsmacking, with sufficient sell on clauses and escalators

Matthew Bates: I think this was the product of Paylor playing with his meds…there is no evidence of any such activity in this virus ridden receptacle of news and links…plus, who wants a permacrocked is-he-a-defender-or-midfielder insurance liability?

Scott McDonald: it’s fairly surprising there hasn’t been more – hell, any – interest in the diminutive down under striker…14 goals in 36 appearances in all competitions is positively prolific given Boro’s lack of reliable scorers the past few seasons…it’s the prohibitive wages that outstrip his commendable work rate and exceptional technique

Kris Boyd: the cinderblock hanging round our neck…his departure could fund several financially responsible additions, but the only real suitor is a club who now got rid of the gaffer who pushed to make a move for him in the first fucking place…hot European gaffer import Steve McLaren could resort to him as a permanent replacement for Dele Adebola or Robert Earnshaw…but could we bear sending him someplace where his inevitable goals could adversely affect our own objective of finally earning promotion? if only someone could persuade him that these endless offers from Turkey actually include delicious, savoury turkey…

Boro makes two changes from Palace: Steele, McMahon, Hines, Grounds, Bennett, Robson (c), Bailey, Arca, McDonald, Emnes, Lita. Subs: Ripley, Haas, Zemmama, Boyd, Halliday, Franks, Smallwood.

1^st half

• Barry Robson makes his return after a nasty leg injury, captaining the side in the absence of Matthew Bates
• @higs8 in for Gary Gill in the expert summariser role
• Boro have sent out an unnamed side only once in 72 matches. That is absolutely stultifying, stretching back to manager who oversaw the freefall that’s brought us here
• Referee: Robert Madley (West Yorkshire)
• Swansea did their last double over Boro way back in 1925. Higgy seizes the opportunity to ask Ali if he remembers doing those games. That’s a smart and easy way to bed in as a broadcast deputy
• £500,000 paid for the peripatetic Scott Sinclair represents some great business by Huw Jenkins. The outlay has netted 17 goals overall this term
• Marvin Emnes, Swansea Tormentor! 8 minutes in he puts Swansea under the cosh – it’s a neat turn and finish to a chance created by Leroy Lita…Boro 1-0 Swansea
• After the goal Mogga continues to implore his charges to pressurise the Swansea defenders
• Julio Arca still dealing with the foot stamp from Palace…picks up a knock in the same area here, but he appears good to continue
• Another week, another horrific mistake from Seb Hines, this time attempting to dribble the ball across the defence. Nathan Dyer is on hand to capitalise and get Swansea level after a whole six minutes after Boro score
• Leon Britton back as the metronome in the Swans midfield after his Sheff Utd nightmare
• If we are deficient in leadership in the heart of defence why don’t we turn to the Haas? A Bayern captain, even if it’s the B team, is still surely good enough for the current fight?
• This match will be decided by whoever terrorizes the others shaky defence more
• Good link up Emnes and Lita…the latter’s acrid touch killed the move after a decent surge up the field
• Jonathan Grounds opens his senior Boro account – a powerful header from a Robbo free kick…David Who? Boro 2-1 Swansea
• The chance for an unassailable half time lead is cleared off the line; Seb Hines was forward, looping a header destined for goal…3 goals in the first 45 minutes could have shattered this Swans defence

HT Boro 2-1 Swansea

Swansea are behind for not taking their chances – Luke Moore, of all people, hasn’t been his usual assertive-against-Boro self. Maybe he’s just a Prem level bête noir?

Boro flagrantly need to tighten up the defence; Hines has had another shocker so far, refusing to impose himself and be a physical force. Going forward we’ve been bright and effective. Leroy Lita should have scored earlier after Emnes set him up. Substitute ‘Emnes’ for anyone else and you have a line suitable for any Boro match report

Apart from the scoreline, there may not be much to shout about. Swans playing with their usual cavalier, no-fear approach, highlighted by their hypnotic passing

2^nd half

• No changes for either side – surely Zemmama and Haas will get consideration for the second half
• Pratley, Gower, Britton have been a force for Swans. Just as we finished reviewing that statement Brendan Rodgers registered his disapproval by taking off Pratley and Britton. Balls
• Angel Rangel tangle? Oh Higgy!!
• Lethal Leroy Lita!! Barry Robson again with a quality ball into the box…easy header to finish – no mistake…Boro 3-1 Swans
• Attendance: 14825 (267 Swans)
• Swans pull one back from the spot – needless push by Arca on Joe Allen…Scott Sinclair converts to make it Boro 3-2 Swansea
• Seb Hines continues to have a shocker…another poor goal conceded whilst we were temporarily down to 10 men. Ashley Williams nods it home while Joe Bennett waits for clearance to return from the sideline…Boro 3-3 Swans
• If there is any consolation from our 3 awful conceded goals, it’s that Swansea are just as dire and unsure at the back
• Merouane Zemmama – wearing number 5 – and Jonathan Franks now up front after Lita and Scott McDonald exit. Diminutive.
• Harsh challenge Mark Gower on Julio Arca, eliciting a yellow. Could have been another colour rightfully
• Richie Smallwood – who Mogga thinks the world of – comes on for a wounded Arca
• Craig Beattie nets an unbelievable winner that stupefies everybody except the 267 away supporters…Boro have thrown away a 3-1 advantage at home and got fuck all from this match

Higgy MOM – Grounds

FT Boro 3-4 Swansea

Sickening finish. Boro score 3 at home and conspire to lose – shocking defending all around today. Swansea were just as jittery, but we couldn’t punish them sufficiently. Serious questions about Hines now. Jason Steele too…

Tunnel reaction with Tony Mowbray: can’t say a lot really – disappointing for the fans – our defending is indefensible – couldn’t stop the ball from going in the net – Whetaer and Bates a few weeks ago, now this – obviously should’va had the 3 points today…need to continue looking over our shoulders – ‘we will improve,  I’m sure’

Barry Robson, commendably honest: scored some good goals when up 3-1; the last 20 mins was diabolical – it’s not just the defence, the rest of the team, collectively, needs to pitch in – we can match the top teams, just needs to be on a more consistent basis – as a team, we need to learn to calm down and get back into it – we played good football, exciting stuff at times – ‘at 3-1, the game should be out of sight’

Boro make one enforced change: Steele, McMahon, Bates, Hines, Bennett, Franks, Bailey, Arca, Taylor, Boyd, Lita. Subs: Ripley, Haas, McDonald, Halliday, Grounds, Smallwood, Park

Pre-match niceties with Mogga: on the progress of Merouane Zemmama –  ‘he’s in a post office in Marrakesh probably’

Jonathan Franks in for Marvin Emnes (groin), who failed a late fitness test

35 played in this series – Boro: 13W 9D 13L

1^st half

• Dougie Freedman is still searching for first win. He’s been permanent for a month, fostering a stingy defence that hasn’t conceded at home since 09 Nov 10. His number two Lennie Lawrence shared a few hearty moments with Mogga pre-match
• Jason Steele and Joe Bennett get the call for the England U21 match in Empoli against the Italians
• Julian Speroni – looks a bit gruff…and heavy…’you sound like Brucie’ quips Gary Gill
• Arca the, ahem, Arcatect
• Ref – Roger East (Wiltshire)
• Matthew Bates off with hamstring knack after 22 minutes. Jonathan Grounds comes on, leaving Maxi  Haas to still wait for his English debut. Crutches for the captain? Nah, he’s proper hard…
• Macca took the armband after Bates exit
• Boro looking to score in 9^th consecutive league match
• More poor composure from Leroy Lita…had Speroni committed and scuffed his shot
• Anthony Gardner having a Kalifa Cisse-esque shocker
• Dean Moxey the standout Palace man so far. A cracking piece of late transfer business from the looks of it…he’s the standout presence in this Palace side looking to close the gap between them and their current opponents
• ‘A catalogue of errors’ leads to Palace’s opener – awful play from Seb Hines…goal claimed by James Vaughan…Palace 1-0

HT Palace 1-0 Boro

Loads of possession for us, with no end product. Arca has been masterful, completing at least as many passes as the hosts combined. Bates exit has really had an impact. Hines shocking during the concession of the goal – Vaughan outmuscled the young centre back entirely too easily. Get your head on son and repay the favour this half…

Scott McDonald can change the shape for us – he can get forward and profit from the fruitful passes Arca and Bailey are offering

2^nd half

• Franks off – Cameron Park on
• The strikers must be strong, getting the ball to stick…keep possession and be stronger
• Darren Ambrose denied a chance to possibly kill it off…great save Steele
• Boyd off – McDonald on, vociferously
• 15 mis left – no subs left to reshuffle – who will conjure up the magic to get us something
• Att – 14060 (1315 Boro)
• Hines heads up front for a last roll of the dice…with Boyd off there’s a decided lack of height in the attack…

GG MOM – Arca

FT Palace 1-0 Boro

One mistake punished us, though to be fair they could have had 2 or 3. We dominated possession and did fuck all with it; not a good sign to do this away against a team below you. Boro’s glaring, flagrant lack of presence in the Palace penalty box ensured we wouldn’t be a threat. Confidence waned as the match progressed. And once Bates left the spirit disappeared entirely

4 points from 9 – simply not a good enough return against teams in the bottom three. Obviously the Preston lapse set the tone for this critical run

Fans openly questioning transfer window logic – £2m  wasn’t enough for Lita? And why no reinvestment in the squad? Mogga’s admission that the club wanted, and needed, to move more players around in the transfer window will sting throughout May – summer will be the time for wide range perestroika

Tunnel reaction with Tony Mowbray: punished quite a bit for one mistake in this division – standards slipped – the squad didn’t succeed with the game plan in training, and it showed – Matthew Bates: hamstring injury confirmed ; less than ideal training conditions may have played a role – Grounds is better with ball at his left foot; he played well ahead of a potential English debut for Maximilian Haas – another day and it’s 0-0, no-one deserved to win the match – Cam Park; late call to plump for Franks after Emnes was ruled out; he came on because we needed a creative player on the pitch

Nicky Bailey needs consolation: disappointing end to a good run – got ‘caught up a little bit’ – ‘didn’t create enough or play well enough as a team’ – not trying to make excuses, but the wind ‘was everywhere’ and the pitch was ‘bubbly’

Julio Arca, Boro’s new best interview: too a nasty kick, leg is hurting – ‘we tried everything’, ‘couldn’t find the space’ – they waited for us to make a mistake, and apart from the goal they created nothing – ‘frustrating when you can’t break in’ – regarding Swansea, it could be better for us to play against a team that wants to play good football…slightly elitist eh, Julio?

Boro line up in a 4-4-2: Steele, Hoyte, Wheater, Bates (c), Bennett, Kink, Robson, Bailey, Arca, Emnes, Lita – Subs: Coyne, Boyd, L Williams, Hines, Franks, McMahon, Smallwood

1^st half

• Ref: Graham Salisbury – he of the itchy trigger finger: 61 yellows and 3 reds meted out this campaign, including one to Reading’s Brian Howard late in the Boro 3-1 victory back in September

• Norwich have only 2 losses away from Carrow Road, and have won 5 of 6 – both Doncaster and Cardiff handed them 3-1 setbacks on earlier travels

• Sloppy first 10 minutes at the Riverside, very untidy and yawn inducing. So casual that Ali and Gary temporarily forget there’s a match going on

• Norwich have now scored in every match but one – they played a goalless draw w/ table toppers QPR

• The goals were so jammy, so poor, that we refuse to even acknowledge them – it is 1-1, and the Boro tally actually goes down as an own goal against Russell Martin. That’s it, we’re not discussing them…

• 46^th league meeting between these two: 18 W 12 D 15 L to the Boro

• The English football immersion of Tarmo Kink continues. He’s getting constant instruction from Tony Mowbray and Mark Venus to correct his poor positioning and decision-making

HT Boro 1-1 Norwich

Much better from us after a dour start – 2 soft goals contributed to the early haze one would actually have expected two days ago. Fortunately the last 10 minutes were more invigorating. David Wheater attacked a few headers,  Matthew Bates had a goal bound effort cleared at the last. Most worryingly, Tarmo Kink is struggling to comprehend the gaffer’s instructions, further fueling the notion that he’s better as an impact sub. Marvin  Emnes needs to improve his positional awareness too – there’s a huge vacancy in the middle of the gap between midfield and attack that he has to occupy

2^nd half

• The first bit of Tarmo’s football re-education: get rid of them garish yellow boots. A conservative-by-Estonian-standards white pair is favoured for the second half

• Attendance: 16853

• Jonathan Franks completes what seemed to be a furtive recovery. Just like that he’s back amongst the substitutes, and now warming up for a possible appearance. According to Mogga he’s been ‘playing like Lionel Messi in training’.  So no pressure then, eh?

• Shirt pulling is part and parcel of in-the-box tomfoolery, and this incident is no different. An errant whistle nullifies the goal to put Boro ahead – David Wheater has his second goal in two matches struck from the ledger after a moment of refereeing incompetence

• Justin Hoyte yet again has a chance to produce something that snatches the points. This time it’s not a mishit cross, nor is he cogitating over a pass in an advantageous spot: it’s a fantastically shaped shot that scorches the side netting. Much better from the perennial underachiever…

GG MOM – Nicky Bailey

FT Boro 1-1 Norwich

Another commanding second half performance yet again. Once we marry those with equal opening half performances we’ll be mint. The lethargic start was difficult to overcome, and seemingly there’s no proper explanation other than the matter of two little matches within 48 hours or so of each other. Footballers these days are so soft…

Arca continues his excellence – Robbo solid and involved throughout – Bailey masterful all around, and really pleasing with his set piece delivery – Jonathan Franks got a decent run out after replacing a poor Tarmo Kink – Kris Boyd made his compulsory early-transfer window appearance to rev up the punters

5 points from 9 during the holiday programme. Considering our current position it’s a profitable return – draws against two of the top form sides when we bossed them

Tunnel reaction from Jonathan Franks: good to be back – hard earned point after a sloppy start – no reserve appearances, just 20 mins on the pitch – on the Messi critique: unfounded, only getting back into it

Barry Robson too: took about a half hour to get going – missed 8 games total through suspension/injury/illness, needs to sharpen match fitness – relentless division – we’ve dominated two of the top 4 in the last two and it’s very consoling – appreciates the spectre of the cup tie at Burton Albion…glamour tie for them and we need to be alert

Tony Mowbray offers his perspective: started sloppy, a possible by-product of Leeds sucker punch – plenty of positives to take from this nevertheless – not necessarily the fault of Jason Steele on the goal…to be fair, quite a few Boro players were culpable – no concrete offers for any player at this stage – nobody will be leaving on the cheap, no fire sale required

Boro go bold in a 4-3-3: Steele; Hoyte, Wheats, Bates, Bennett, Thommo, Bailey, Emnes, Arca; McDonald, Lita

Is that three men up front? Confirmed – Marvin Emnes starts up with Scott McDonald and Leroy Lita, tasked with dropping back when Boro don’t have the ballh

1^st half

• Ref: Colin Webster – he’s the bastard who sent off Barry Robson against Bristol City last year

• Jonathan Howson and Max Gradel have been two of the most impressive wingers in the division. Gradel is on top goal scoring form with 5 in four matches – Howson played an excellent match at the Riverside

• Leeds displaying a better shape, overall looking a better side from the team that won in Strachan’s last match

• Wheats ‘making a nuisance’ of himself – a clever near post flick for the opening goal – quality corner from Arca

• Another early departure for Kevin Thomson; he’s off after 25 minutes and heads straight down the tunnel after being replaced by Barry Robson. The instructions to the Scots stalwart: stay disciplined and keep the shape

• Great coaching from Tony Mowbray here: Nicky Bailey receives perfect instructions to suss out an intricate move from a set piece – thanks to the astute gaffer he knew where that free kick was going to be taken

HT Leeds 0-1 Boro

Promising display from Boro – fluid formation with Emnes attacking and defending as play dictates – more attacking intent overall, the only disappointments remain Thommo’s exit and not getting that second goal

Is Julio Arca more effective than Thommo in the middle? It seems crass to suggest it, smacking of a bias against terribly injured man, but the Argentine’s resurgence is getting him noticed and Boro’s displays profit from it

2^nd half

• Robbo has a bit of Billy Bremner in him, doing the niggling, grating, sneaky stuff to rile the opposition

• Bradley Johnson, the transfer-listed Leeds winger, has been wretched in his service and delivery today…keep it coming lad

• Attendance: 30452

• Joe Bennett doing his best to fuel spurious Boro-Barcelona links; it’s a supremely skillful run past four defenders, but he spoons his well-worked shot over and out…what a finish it would have been

• Kris Boyd’s festive intake was surely legendary. Now the big man has the sandwich board adorning his neck to firmly signal that he is indeed for sale

• How is it not 2-0 Boro? Boro have three players in the box and do a choreographed Keystone Kops routine, running into each other and completely missing a free ball into the net. Leeds rush forward and amid the ensuing lunacy Luciano Becchio volleys home a gutting equalizer…10 seconds to go from that to this…

• Justin Effing Hoyte just needs to flat out improve on the ball skills. This is the second match running he gets into a promising position with a chance to kill the match, and his end product is simply wasteful. We paid £3M for that?

• Then Ross McCormack absolutely blows a chance to win it for Leeds. We’re usually victimized by that sort of misfortune…new year, new luck, eh?

GG MOM – Nicky Bailey

FT Leeds 1-1 Boro

Initially it was stinging to not get the full three points as we were excellent. In the end it’s a fine point against a side unbeaten in 10 and fresh off beating QPR. Still though, it should have been so much more

no post match reaction from the tunnel today due to we needed to get the eff back to bed

• Boro line up in a 4-4-2: Steele; Hoyte, Wheater, Bates, Bennett: O’Neil, Thomson, Tavares, Arca; Emnes, Lita

• No Barry Robson anywhere. His meteoric rise into Boro folklore appears to have crashed and dented. Does it portend an extension of the Tavares loan, or another fresh body in the next few weeks?

• Birthday boy Sean St. Ledger also absent, not even named to the Preston bench. Another celebrating Capricorn, our own Leroy Lita, turned 26 today. He’s in up front with Marvin Emnes to form a pacy, dynamic pair

• Ref: Craig Pawson – last Boro match the 3-1 drubbing at Derby – Steele/Wheater/McManus/O’Neil all went in the book that day

• PNE haven’t beat Boro in the league since 1972 – usually an ominous omen

• Andy Lonergan, the Preston-born home keeper, is certainly one susceptible to the occasional egregious blunder between the sticks. Can Boro be active enough in his box to cause some bother?

• Great work from Leroy Lita early on – he’s not getting enough support from his midfielders, who frankly are too busy trying to protect against Preston counter attacks. Few options available when he gets deep, forcing some of the nice passages of football currently on offer to disintegrate

• Transfer Rumour Target du jour: Soren Larsen – hulking Danish striker at Toulouse…experience at the top level with Bundesliga side Schalke 04…something of a Nicklas Bendtner understudy, which is great socially, but less so from a football perspective

• Lethal: Up. For. It. The misery set in after Preston scored from a corner was short-lived as Boro broke forward and Leroy, who still stupefies his gaffer, unleashed a fierce drive into the roof of the net. More remarkably is that he kept his top on; becoming a man before our very eyes – Preston 1-1 Boro

• Barca/Boro – imperceptible at the moment: Bennett/Hoyte resembling proper wing backs as Thommo and Tavares play the Busquets role – it’s a dangerous tactic that’s been profitable thus far, contravening the notion that full backs need to be full backs…Preston breaking on the counter when they can get behind the Boro back line

HT PNE 1-1 Boro

Before Gilly’s cup of tea: great organisation so far – Thommo and Tavares covering the vacancies when the full backs bomb forward – we still need the numbers to rush forward when we create advantages…MF flood the box and remove onus from LL and Emnes…onto the second half

• Things open up as it approaches the hour mark – Marvin Emnes becomes too ponderous, waiting an age to do something in a great attacking position. It’s a real chance wasted. Fortunately the Boro birthday boy Leroy Lita, ‘someone you don’t normally associate composure with’ – controls a diamond ball from Julio Arca and slots a professional finish into the PNE goal – Preston 1-2 Boro

• Make it four great aerial chances for David Wheater this half – and one stormer of a goal. It’s padding the goal difference now, a critical element of relegation survival that, if it came to it, wouldn’t be a concern. Some might be happy closing up shop for 30 minutes to ensure a result; others want a cricket score a remuneration for active roles in the season of suffering

• Will Lee Miller, starting this day for Notts County at Home Park versus Plymouth Argyle, be coming back to cover for Asian Cup participant Scott McDonald? The Larsen link makes sense if the Scottish donkey gets either a loan extension or reassignment. Exploits of Tarmo Kink aside, there’s a sense that Mogga would be more assertive and exacting in the scouting of continental prospects

• The Beast Jon Parkin has been rendered pretty anonymous today. Matthew Bates and David Wheater have neutralised this animal with relative ease. Limiting his gazelle-like strike mate Josh King, on loan from Big Ferg, required more pace than guile

• Attendance: 11946 (approx 1000 Boro)

• GG MOM – Lethal

Immediate reaction from Gilly: Arca terrific, centre halves brilliant – this has been coming for a while – a really expansive and controlled performance – only the second 3 goal outburst this season – Boro 3-1 Reading

Mac continues his chuntering down the tunnel, reports Mark Drury – why didn’t Hoyte pass the ball during that late rush for four?

Manager interview with Mogga: time to go on a run – not overly concerned at other results currently…23 games to go for us to sort our business, build belief, and improve confidence – try to bring in manageable players the have the right price – a year of change…results on the pitch and a shake-up in personnel

Tunnel reaction from Julio Arca: we were patient, chose the right attacks, and continued to play better football – more tactical, sharper – completing the changes the manager wants to make will take time, but it will be worth it

• Boro have won the last six versus Rovers…last Donny result was 1957 at Belle Vue – 17th meeting in the series – Boro leads all-time 12W 2D 3L

• In the fetching blue away kit, Boro line up in a 4-4-2 – Marvin Emnes on the left…Julio Arca/ Kevin Thomson in the middle…Gary O’Neil right… Wheats – who had a spell at Donny under Dave Penney – is back, forcing Seb Hines to the bench…Justin Hoyte remains favoured at right back and Nicky Bailey is out ill…the training facilities at Hurworth remain as salubrious as the intimate booths down the local gentleman’s arcade

• Fantastic start, redolent of Scunthorpe! A few telling attacks early, then Emnes does the creation for Scott McDonald to tap in after 4 mins: Donny 0-1 Boro – 6th goal for Mac

• Narrow midfield 3 by Donny – the flanks are there for the Boro taking

• Hosts seize control after the bright Boro start…increased possession led to the equalizer from James Hayter, his firm header placed past Jason Steele to level things after 22 minutes

• Concrete surface at the Keepmoat – no undersoil heating – ball doesn’t roll with any integrity

• Ref:  Carl Boyeson…presided over Mogga’s first match against Bristol City…very liberal that day as no cards were brandished…he’s letting the footy flow here too…that or the cards are frozen to his breast

• HT Donny 1-1 Boro

• Before retreating to the warm dressing room the referee holds a quick pitch inspection with his cohort and the Keepmoat groundskeepers – after a cursory glance and a bit of stomping and forking, we get the thumbs up to carry on, despite a tangible risk of injury to the players

• Boro are gifting possession too easily, allowing John Oster, Brian Stock and company to exert control and probe for openings…after a promising opening the visitors need to regroup and ally the work rate with a better end product

• Current away form: 1W 1D 8L…beyond relegation fodder

• Emnes needs to exploit his newfound fervency with more direct runs at defenders…force them to commit and make a mistake

• Attendance: 9543 (approx 1800 Boro)

• Kris Boyd, on for the ineffective Leroy Lita, is still craving service of any kind – Hoyte is giving a good effort with the usual poor end quality, unable to spoon-feed the SPL’s all-time leading scorer the way he’s accustomed to

• Barry Robson imposing himself w/ some good, telling passes from his attacking position on the left…this is a good sub appearance so far…it’s still unclear if Mogga rates him…perhaps he can evolve into a regular, reliable alternative off the bench?

• Gary Gill MOM – Matthew Bates…no one has really stood out, but his lively tussles with striker Billy Sharp have kept him active and involved

• Boyd blows a chance to wrap this up – terrific work by Bennett and the, ahem, SPL all-time leading poacher cannot get a beak or drumstick to it from 7-8 yards…off to Ewood Park you go to help Venky’s crack the cutthroat Scottish poultry market

• Sickening end to proceedings – deep into stoppage time Donny press and Brian Stock provides the hammer blow…effort mishandled by Steele and bobbles over the line…3 points chucked away…you’d say it’s an astonishing finish, however this is Boro…we’ve been here all too frequently

Tunnel reaction from Gary O’Neil: massively disappointed, should have gotten something – same old story really – next 2 matches crucial versus Forest and PNE in a pivotal Christmas programme

Final word from Gilly: let’s draw a few of these matches – 3 in 22 – we need something to arrest this vile run of away form…