Boro with a revamped academy back four: Steele, McMahon, Hines, Bates(c), Bennett, Bailey, O’Neil, Robson, Taylor, Boyd, Lita – Subs: Ripley, Grounds, Arca, Smallwood, Park, Miller, Emnes

pre-match bobs

• Lee Miller, Notts County folk hero, makes a return to the bench – Conor Ripley is named substitute ahead of the injured Danny Coyne

• 4 unbeaten in the league for the hosts – a return of 8 points from 12

• GON/Robbo/Tayls sit on 4 yellow cards – one more merits automatic suspension

1^st half

• PNE – 3 CBs at the back – how does Boro respond to an unconventional system?

• 84 meetings: 37 W 20 D 27 L to the Boro

• Early knock for Robbo as he writhes on the ground favouring his left leg. It must be a hell of an ache to keep him down for this long

• Iain Hume is the new PNE danger man now that Jon Parkin is at Cardiff

• Ref: Mick Russell (Hertfordshire)

• Phil Brown assesses the orange boots of Leroy Lita and thinks ponderously, ‘why flesh coloured footwear?’

• Midway through the first half and we’re seeing betterplay from the full backs, with Tony McMahon enjoying his usual free reign on the right side

• Sean St Ledger on the changes under Phil Brown: things have been much more organised versus the stewardship of Little Ferg, aiding an improved spirit and general goodwill towards their fellow Lilywhites

• For all of the tangible improvement under Tony Mowbray we still struggle mightily with providing quality service for our strikers

• ‘Growing discontent’ from the crowd re: Boyd

HT Boro 0-0 PNE

Lethal Leroy Lita is certainly less so when partnering with Kris Boyd. The links are there with Emnes and McDonald – with the former Rangers hitman it’s a cold a loveless affair. Whoever is upfront needs to be in the box when the full backs are pushing up because  they’re putting balls in. Very important to keep the discipline and not switch off, i.e. don’t get mugged. Ian Hume is ‘a tricky customer’ says Gary Gill

It’s another tremendous start from Nicky Bailey – this is a remarkable run of 5 or 6 games where’s he’s been the midfield stalwart we’ve craved for so long. Seb Hines has acquitted himself well with a confident and composed first half display.

2^nd half

• Robbo off – Arca on…injury gets the better of our resident hard man

• Sustained pressure to start the second half; Bailey in the middle of everything, and Boro are getting more bodies in the box

• Good performance Sean St Ledger. His former loan club are keeping him busy defensively, preventing his patented surging up-field runs

• Phil Brown continues to bend the ear of the ref: Joe Bennett has dived 3 times in his worthless estimation

• Boyd exits for Emnes to wide derision

• Iain Hume and Seb Hines clatter hard, sparking worry for Hume after his head injury at the hands of Chris Morgan last season while still with Barnsley. Both men are good to carry on

• Marvin Emnes has the best chance so far to put Boro further ahead, as the ball falls to him in a Shaun Harrad-esque way. The end product is risibly bad, hit horribly off target

• ‘Like Beckenbauer at his best’ – Matty Bates with a wonder goal to give Boro their reward! Boro 1-0 PNE thanks to a marauding run redolent of a Boro-era Sean St Ledger!

• Andy Lonergan keeping PNE close here – a clutch of stellar saves have kept his side within shouting distance

• Phil Brown and Brian Horton are having kittens on the touchline, denigrating Bennett for perceived continuous diving, and as a result Bennett isn’t getting the benefit of refereeing doubt

• Att: 16157

• Super play from Julio Arca in his limited shift; a terrific resumption of the profitable engine room link up with Nicky Bailey

• Macca keeps buccaneering forward, offering loads of crosses, with varying degrees of success

• Another late switch off, right on the usual cue: PNE deserve fuck all from this match and somehow find themselves level thanks to Billy Jones, who also tallied in the tilt at Deepdale, although less dramatically…Boro 1-1 PNE

GG MOM – Bailey

FT Boro 1-1 PNE

They were dead but not quite buried. We spurned bags of chances to kill this off only to be undone by some dire finishing. That’s what supporters immediately identify at the end of things, and it’s absolutely spot on; Leroy Lita is great in spurts, Marvin Emnes has tremendous promise, but Kris Boyd is a lost cause. The sooner he naffs off to either Glasgow, Grozny, or Bursaspor the better.

Tony McMahon and Joe Bennett were ever-present on the flanks, however the left back was under the keen forensic eye of referee Mick Russell, heavily influenced by the constant shouting and pointing from the opposing technical area. Frankly it was a shocking display of sportsmanship – better yet, a lack of – from the PNE brain trust. This was amateur dramatics at their best from the thespian duo of Brown and Horton

Tunnel reaction with a muted Tony Mowbray: feels worse than a defeat – second half was where we want to go as a football team – the opposition will always have a chance if you can’t put the ball in the net – we should be beating teams like this at home – we want to get the Tayls situation resolved – Robbo: a gaping hole in his foot – Bennett: fiery, he stands his ground exceptionally, going to be a top footballer – Seb Hines: does the basics well – Kris Boyd: needs to get his head down and work hard, his struggles don’t necessarily reflect his approach in training

Nicky Bailey cuts a dispirited figure: they came here to flood the midfield and make it hard, and they did it fairly well – walking off the pitch you obviously look for something or someone to blame – we have to start sticking the ball away, keep working, and look forward to the next game

Final words with Matthew Bates: wants to keep playing the ball from the back – late switch off is the story of the season – we dominate possession, then concede from 1 or 2 half chances – we were miles ahead in everything – maybe there is a bit of nervousness? – confident that Wheats can excel at Bolton – will be a considerable step up from defending Bristol one week and marking Didier Drogba the next – things are going the right way, looking forward to the games as opposed to earlier in the season

Picks with proper sloppy commentary and ill hypotheses return in force!

Saturday

3.00p

Barnsley v Leicester – Oakwell

Sven looks to continue his resuscitation-with-just-a-bit-of-open-mouth-kissing on Leicester’s flat-lining campaign – a win here would hop the hosts and land conveniently in the crotch of mid table…Adam Hammill is setting hearts aflutter far and wide with his mature, commanding performances…Barnsley 1-1 Leicester

Bristol City v Preston – Ashton Gate

Chairman Steve Landsdown recently announced operating losses in the region of £11m – pack your gear there Jamo and get in that shop window with Marvin Elliott and stay there til the punters arrive! The Lillywhites may be flush in their own dosh if the palaver about Sean St. Ledger is true: Liverpool and Villa are set to joust over the right to abduct the wannabe attacking midfielder defender who irreparably shot David Wheater’s confidence…Bristol City 2-1 Preston

Coventry v Leeds United – Ricoh Arena

Like the crabs you’d get after sleeping with a bird from Coventry, Coventry just will not abate, residing loftily in fourth place – Leeds have lost four of six, shipping 15 goals in that span…reap what ye sow dirty beggars!! Coventry 3-2 Leeds

Doncaster v Millwall – Keepmoat Stadium

Somewhere in a parallel universe there’s an underachieving and disinterested Donny blogger unleashing a Sexual Healy blog post – the Northern Ireland goal hawk has just perched up outside of Sean O’Driscoll’s office to replace the talismanic Billy Sharp on a one month loan from Sunderland…Doncaster 2-2 Millwall

Hull v Scunthorpe – KC Stadium

Talks of a takeover from local businessmen Assem and Ehab Allam have silenced, shrouding the home side in more uncertainty, as if the stuttering start under Nigel Pearson wasn’t enough…Scunthorpe tick along like a classic functioning alcoholic: dependable, regular, and prone to the occasional bout of spasticity…Hull 1-1 Scunthorpe

Middlesbrough v Crystal Palace – Riverside Stadium

Mogga reunites on the touchline with mentor/nemesis George Burley – at least the Boro boss can claim innocence: shit was already fucked up when he arrived, where as his former gaffer is fairly culpable for shackling Palace to the foot of the table…Boro 2-1 Crystal Palace

Norwich v Burnley – Carrow Road

Clarification please on the new football administration accreditation available through the Clarets, with lectures taking place in the stands of Turf Moor: do we end up like Pompey or Palace, or just learn the best way to get clubs into those hopeless positions? Norwich 1-2 Burnley

QPR v Reading – Loftus Road

Rangers have finally been knocked from the top of the heap, but this still constitutes a salivating top six encounter…it seems like only 8 matches or so ago that Reading were the fodder for reigniting the Boro promotion push – now they’ve rocketed into the playoff positions…fucking cunts…QPR 3-1 Reading

Sheff Utd v Ipswich – Bramall Lane

Chris Morgan, the man who gift-wrapped Boro’s win over the Blades earlier this season, is out for the rest of the season – who will Gary Speed get to fill the filthy dirty cunt vacancy? Keano spat another soundbite gem recently; speaking of the dynamism of the loan market the madman proclaimed: sometimes you talk to a bird all night and don’t get her in the taxi…very prophetic…Sheff Utd 0-1 Ipswich

Watford v Nottingham Forest – Vicarage Road

Thank fucking Christ smogonthetyne now in nunthorpe exorcised his City Ground demons…daft metonymy equating The Trees to Forest completely obliterates our credibility…Watford 4-2 Nottingham Forest

5.20p

Derby v Portsmouth – Pride Park

@robbiesavage8 is a good follow on Twitter…that is if you have a soul-crushing job and clutch the Blackberry to escape the banality of a firewalled, corporate-master sanctioned internet…and for the 1871^st time we bellow: why the fuck did we not move for Liam Lawrence when he was available? Derby 2-1 Portsmouth

Sunday

1.10p

Cardiff v Swansea – Cardiff City Stadium

Our personal favourite derogatory chant involving this lot? Hey, Swansea, leave our sheep alone! (to the tune of Another Brick In The Wall) – hopefully the stewards can collect the change that will pelt linos, the ref, players, rozzers, whoever, to a Coinstar, or the Welsh equivalent…Cardiff 2-1 Swansea

If we’re to believe Steve Gibson – and frankly there’s no reason not to – one can’t help feel a little sorry for Gordon Strachan. It’s the ‘mark of the man’ that he walked away, offering a resignation and surrendering any claim to compensation by tearing up his contract. A small remuneration for all the torturing disappointment endured by the fans, allowing all interested parties to move on from an ill-conceived decision the club now say they got all wrong. The owner, and proud lifelong diehard, gets another chance to make an impact appointment – are the previous aberrations of wet rookie and sour, atavistic Scot the new norm, or does he have another wonderstrike in him?

Prognostication shifts primarily to able gaffers. Last time round netted five results right – one perfect score. More robust match previews will return once this madness abates…

Bristol City 1-2 Reading

Burnley 2-0 Barnsley

Coventry 1-3 Cardiff

Doncaster 2-2 Derby

Hull 2-0 Sheffield Utd

Leeds 3-1 Leicester

Millwall 3-0 Portsmouth

Norwich 2-0 Crystal Palace

The Trees 1-1 Middlesbrough

Preston 1-0 Scunthorpe

Swansea 1-1 QPR

Watford 2-1 Ipswich

New challenges force an abbreviated selection this time round. Think of it as a tasty instrumental, something from Man Of Aran perhaps, not the usual soaring echoes and supremely organised confusion primarily associated with The Decline Of British Sea Power…

Round 9 picks, with 65% less fat:

Burnley 2-0 Hull

Cardiff 3-1 Crystal Palace

Coventry 1-1 Doncaster

Derby 4-2 Middlesbrough

Leeds United 2-0 Preston

Norwich 0-0 Leicester

The Trees 1-0 Sheffield Utd

Portsmouth 3-0 Bristol City

Scunthorpe 4-1 Barnsley

Watford 3-2 Swansea

QPR 2-0 Millwall

Reading 0-2 Ipswich

It’s time you started embracing fiscal responsibility and cut your cloth accordingly – troll the mighty Football League for tables, stats, and ace blogs from former BBC scribes, like this geezer…

And get acquainted with the upcoming fixtures through handy and informative match capsules at our first football stop each and every day…

Saturday

12.30p

Coventry v Leicester – Ricoh Arena

Paulo Sousa isn’t a one bird man…his indecisiveness is spilling into his striker selection too: D.J. Campbell was going to stay, but then he went…and now he’s not so sure about Matty Fryatt…at least he has the spunk to admit he couldn’t go on without a bit of Martyn Waghorn…Aidy Boothroyd has the home side embarking on a positive ascent…Chris Coleman did too this time last year, and that didn’t end on the best of terms…Coventry 1-1 Leicester

1.00p

Derby v Sheffield United – Pride Park

Great bit of business by the Rams, eh? Boro were willing to part with upwards of £4m last summer for hulking forward Rob Hulse…instead they dug their heels in and stood firm, aided by the fact Hulse wasn’t interested in a move to the northeast…QPR snapped him up for £1m before the close of the transfer window, leaving a considerable gap in attack…Gary Speed seeks another win to herald a good start to an overdue managerial career…Derby 1-1 Sheffield United

3.00p

Cardiff v Hull – Cardiff City Stadium

Massive…huge…epic…landmark…Anthony Gerrard returns to Cardiff City Stadium! Frankly we’re tired of talking up Craig Bellamy, and we can’t work in a smart Goldie Lookin Chain reference…here’s hoping Nigel Pearson is back to rude health after a hospital scare…Cardiff 2-0 Hull

Leeds United v Swansea – Elland Road

Amdy Faye has been drafted in to add grit and muscle to the Leeds midfield…a shrewd acquisition that further bolsters an already formidable spine…Swansea are right in the early thick of it, but the away form has to improve if they’re to make a real go…another proven goalscorer couldn’t hurt too…maybe a cheeky call to his mate in Madrid to see if Gonzalo Higuain might be available on loan? Leeds United 2-1 Swansea

Norwich v Barnsley – Carrow Road

Mark Robins may have a true gem on his hands in Adam Hammill…a chic pick for prosperity, the Tykes look to build on the success that followed an underwhelming start…Norwich don’t look like they’re going anywhere, in a good way…they’ll hang and claw and scratch, and occasionally gouge…Norwich 3-1 Barnsley

The Trees v Millwall – Trees Home Ground

This is for you smogonthetynenowinnunthorpe…an exorcism of the Garibaldi Reds, distilling them down to a generic parochial, arboreal outfit…chief thicko Steve Morison looks to maintain his torrid form…Kenny Jackett immediately distancing himself from the Wales vacancy can’t hurt the continued cohesion either…The Trees 0-1 Millwall

Portsmouth v Ipswich – Fratton Park

If nothing else, Dave Kitson will give great quote to the journos on the south coast…he and Liam Lawrence certainly appear a considerable upgrade over what they surrendered in Marc Wilson and Tommy Smith…no word if Roy is to go ahead with his coaching duties after this tragic news…goodnight, sweet prince…Portsmouth 1-0 Ipswich

QPR – Middlesbrough – Loftus Road

Things are going swimmingly at the Bush…and Neil Warnock has never lost to Boro, anywhere…of course we had never won at their place either, before the 5-1 thrashing way that signaled Gordo’s first win last December…a real litmus test for the visitors, especially with a national media set to cast a beady eye on our assembly of expensive talent…QPR 2-2 Boro

Reading v Crystal Palace – Madejski Stadium

Palace secured the scrawl of James Vaughan on loan to key the attack…Reading matches them with their own tyro, former Royal Simon Cox is in from West Brom…will Reading go the way of the Sugarcubes after their charismatic focal point Gylfi Sigurdsson has gone? Reading 2-0 Crystal Palace

Scunthorpe v Bristol City – Glanford Park

Such class…Nigel Adkins won’t give Southampton the time of day unless they consider compensating the Iron…a lesson in devotion and professional integrity for all in these morally bankrupt times…Keith Millen gets a starlet in Tottenham’s Danny Rose…the young whippet should be keen to impress that he does indeed have the goods…Scunthorpe 2-1 Bristol City

Watford v Doncaster – Vicarage Road

The loan window recently opened, and no doubt Watford will be on edge as they see if they can snatch anymore big-time Prem-nurtured talent to abet a quest to avoid expected tough times in the league…Doncaster don’t have to wait for the Arsenal whelps, for they play they’re own brand of pass-it-into-the-net stuff…Watford 2-2 Doncaster

5.15p

Burnley v Preston – Turf Moor

Great stuff from Paul Fletcher this week, chronicling the financial re-tooling of a club almost taken to the HMRC wall…Little Ferg is on board with the austerity plan, though not without his own nepotistic loan captures…Turf Moor is a fortress, just ask Big Ferg…Burnley 2-0 Preston

Top Two

Eleven goals scored – two conceded – QPR are off to a flyer – less-heralded summer transfer Jamie Mackie from Plymouth is setting the goal pace with three – maintained an unbeaten start after surreal comeback at Derby – 2 goals in 2nd half stoppage time to rescue a point

Cardiff have won 3 on the bounce after a dull season opening draw v Sheffield United…2 away wins @ Derby and Portsmouth – is the Bellamy capture massive enough to tip the scales and spur a serious promotion push?

Playoff Occupiers

Ipswich are level on points w/ the top two, their goal difference not quite as robust as the table-toppers – fine away form with wins secured at Boro and Crystal Palace – imposingly natty striker Jason Scotland returns to the league with a view to setting it alight once more, at least until Connor Wickham returns…

Millwall are annihilating opponents through sheer goal power – the meteoric rise for Steve Morison continues: blazing a goal trail from non-league to the Championship, earning a call up from Wales, and becoming the subject of rampant transfer speculation… Burnley find life after the drop different, as in they’re picking up regular points, unlike the long, hard slog that was life in the Prem – Chris Iwelumo and Ross Wallace continue to bed in, creating the potential for an extremely potent attack trio when combined with Martin Paterson

Leeds seem perfectly suited to grinding results, just like they did at Vicarage Road last time out – that’s a critical trait to possess at this level – our pre-season picks are generally in peril, but we stand united behind this lot blagging sixth spot in the end

Upper Mid Table

Norwich are acclimating to the higher reaches of the Championship as they lurk outside in seventh…Doncaster and Scunthorpe continue punching above their respective weights…Reading hopes to assuage the Gylfi Sigurdsson departure with a helping of freshly-omitted-from-Wolves-25-man-roster menace Michael Kightly

Lower Mid Table

Boro languish in 16^th, among the detritus consisting of expectant contenders Sheffield United, Hull, and The Trees, those useless trees…believe this: Billy Davies is gonna walk, even Daniel Taylor angularly suggests it…Crystal Palace and Preston hover above the all-to-early-to-speculate-unless-it’s-Pompey drop zone

Bottom 3

Bristol City search for the scorching form they  experienced under Keith Millen atthe end of last term…injuries and overall personnel adjustments conspire to create a huge obstacle, but hey, Jamo is still around…Paulo Sousa is flummoxed that Leicester aren’t embracing the sexy ideals that comprise his smouldering brand of football…and yeah Portsmouth! fleeced Stoke for the erudite Dave Kitson and loveable Irish scamp Liam Lawrence, for just one efficient Marc Wilson…of the course the transaction comes with customary challenges as the paperwork for Lawrence wasn’t completed in time before the transfer deadline…the loan is being processed as we type, with a view to a permanent deal come January…a similar snag occurred with Tommy Smith’s move to QPR…Spurs get all bleeding night to finalise the van der Vaart swoop, and Pompey get held to the stopwatch…pathetic

The power base is contravening their expected strategy to avoid short-term loan options, which is what we’re certainly facing at this juncture. Unless Gordo has a cheeky scheme to raid some Prem clubs of the talent left out of the compulsory 25-man rosters. Loan activity at this level commences 08 Sep 10…a consternated support base eagerly awaits the possibilities for additions prior to the next must-get-a-result outing at QPR.

Vic was gracious enough to elucidate on the net spend since January - the numbers assuage some concerns and potential stigmas…here’s our evocative reply to the post-transfer window postmortem:

Looking at the numbers makes me feel a bit better – such a more positive outlook when including the wage savings from the old big-time earners…

I can’t help but thinking of another area we’ll soon be more deficient in: having/developing marketable players…Wheats has to be the only one of the academy lads who could command a nice transfer fee…Steele may get there soon enough, but after that, who? Any of Park/Pilatos/Luke Williams?

As far as first-teamers and squad players, GON remains the primary attraction – his valuation has dipped to the 2.5m range at best…Boyd would be a profit cos of the free…we could possibly recoup the McDonald spend too…

Gordo ideally wanted to eschew the loan market in favour of weaving together an impenetrable squad…he has to rely on it now – a few more able-bodied mercenaries semi-committed to the cause…

A few more late-week Boro tidbits:

• The second monthly shirt sponsor has been unveiled, and it generated considerable buzz…
• International break – Euro 2012 qualification begins this weekend – the bravehearts aren’t the only ones away on duty…
• Lithuania v Scotland - Robbo and Mick start for the absolutely critical opener away in Kaunas  
• Estonia v Italy – shoot-on-sight livewire Tarmo Kink features for the hosts as they host 2006 WC champions, and 2010 WC laughingstocks, Italy

And finally, an offering to the football blogging deities, hoping beyond hope that we’ll be rescued from the ennui of a cubicle-based work existence…some tossed together notes strained from the frankly wonderful commentary of the local Barnsley radio coverage streamed on that dastardly justin.tv:

Kris Boyd – Tykes commentators/contributors: ‘Boyd born offside’ – a few good half-chances – sliced a really good open chance 10 feet past Luke Steele’s post – ran hard and got into decent positions

Robbo – cracking 25 yd effort saved in the second half – quite active overall – much better individually after Sheffield United

Kink – continued to build confidence – more pops from distance that have increased in marginal success – escaped punishment for coming back onto the pitch after treatment prematurely, w/ out ref consent

post match inquests w/ Gordon Cox:

Gordo: not very contrite – keeper made great saves – away support was brilliant…disappointed for them – unhappy times at the moment – keep working, hope the luck will change and performances improve – I have a ‘terrific life’…didn’t seemed too bothered by the context of a dreadful start

Wheats: couldn’t get the ball to wide men from the back – balls out of play – worked on the crosses extensively in training – keep grafting/training hard – revelation about the first goal from set-piece

callers: where’s his passion – fight! – he sounds like an outsider – no passion for the cause – Kevin Fucking Keegan? – that trumps the outlandish demand for Maradona – Rioch was frequently outraged at the rubbish results and risible performances…he ripped into his teams accordingly

GG sews it up: work very hard in the next 2 weeks boys – in the midfield, when Barnsley lost the ball they battled and willed themselves to win it back…we gave up and looked ragged, lost the shape and were totally overran

Saturday

3.00p

Barnsley v Middlesbrough – Oakwell

If the Tykes want a cup tie they’re going to get one says Gordon Strachan…Boro continue to tinker with their formations in search of some shape and attacking stability…midfield help is en route from Germany in the form of Hamburg’s itinerant Senegal international Mickael Tavares…Barnsley have yet to live up to early season promise as a playoff contender…Barnsley 1-2 Boro

Derby v QPR – Pride Park

Adel Taarabt is the second coming of Cristiano Ronaldo…Neil Warnock is taking Rangers back to the promised land…they play the most expansive football in the division…blah blah blah…wake us when they’re sweating on the outskirts of the top 6 come March…Derby 2-0 QPR

Doncaster v Hull – Keepmoat Stadium

The home side will take their hammerings, as they did last week in Wales…it proves as no deterrent for the slick brand of football Rovers like to espouse…Nigel Pearson undoubtedly has the resources and nous to stabilize leaky Hull…they strike us as a bit of a wildcard – you don’t quite know what to expect, especially away from home…Doncater 2-1 Hull

Ipswich v Bristol City – Portman Road

Roy certainly is rolling: a bright start to the campaign, currently in fifth position, superfluous Jon pair of Stead and Walters flogged off for needed dosh…a towering dread-locked striker procured from Wigan…things are progressing well for Town…Bristol City are still trying to find their feet after the Coppell disaster as they leak goals at an alarming rate…Ipswich 1-0 Bristol City

Millwall v Coventry – The Den

We reckon Marlon King may not be in the crowd for this one…surely a good kicking awaits if he’s daft enough…the Sky Blues are set for one too as Millwall continue to acclimatize to their new surroundings nicely…Millwall 3-1 Coventry

Nottingham Forest v Norwich – City Ground

Tough sledding for Forest so far…is Billy Davies furtively packing up his things little by little, or will he just sod it all and hope Forest ship his possessions out via courier to his forwarding address on file in human resources? Norwich are off to a flyer like their promoted bretheren…Nottingham Forest 0-0 Norwich

Portsmouth v Cardiff – Fratton Park

Dave Jones has zero sympathy for Pompey…maybe your heart goes into the deep freeze when your club is continually skint, you can’t afford remedial repairs to the pitch, and you’ve personally endured allegations of being dangerous to children? Portsmouth 1-1 Cardiff

Scunthorpe v Crystal Palace – Glanford Park

The Iron will survive if they maintain knocking off the bigger clubs who can’t match their austere and prudent approach to running a football club…Crystal Palace is another prime, attainable target…and Glanford Park can be a fun fortress…Scunthorpe 2-0 Crystal Palace

Sheffield United v Preston – Bramall Lane

Ferg Jr got a much needed result last week v Portsmouth…he’ll lead the Lillywhites into Bramall Lane hoping to extend the Blades early misery, and make the curve for new gaffer Gary Speed noticeably sharper…based on their display at the Riverside – and both teams were culpable – he’s got a job to do…Sheffield United 1-1 Preston

Swansea v Burnley – Liberty Stadium

The Clarets have hit the ground running – as expected in most footballing circles…Swansea’s transition under Brendan Rodgers shouldn’t be a transition at all really since the club was steadfast in appointing a new manager keen on proliferating their patented possession approach…some remain underwhelmed by the Carnlough Mourinho…scalping the visitors could go some way to altering that mindset…Swansea 2-1 Burnley

Watford v Leeds United – Vicarage Road

A top ten tussle in Hertfordshire, though for how long remains to be seen…Malky Mackay has his young tribe overachieving early…Simon Grayson just got attacking reinforcement in the shape of Scotland international striker Ross McCormack…we like the newcomers to nick a jammy win…Watford 0-1 Leeds United

5.20p

Leicester v Reading – The Walkers Stadium

Mouthwatering…sumptuous…eye-catching…adjectives not quite appropriate for these two given their pedigree and level of expectation…still, they’re our tips for fouth and third respectively…if it came down to barnets and overall looks amongst the gaffers the Foxes win every damn time…Leicester 2-1 Reading

What a difference 53 hours makes…except it wasn’t so different. It was really more of the same – a pedestrian and laboured performance, this time punished by a bubbling side who cleaned up their chances and exerted pressure on the visitors. The Sunday league showcase versus Sheffield United proved valuable because it displayed that Boro can win very ugly games, just like the Carling Cup tie last night at the New Den illustrated how the attack still needs sorting – distribution and service from the wide positions has been atrocious – for it cannot always rely on a stingy and stout defence during increasingly desperate and barren spells.

We belatedly offer prized post-match thoughts from Sunday…post-return-to-sleep-after-515a-local-match-start-time thoughts actually:

Woeful match – terrific result. The gaffer has made no secrets that he is supremely uninterested in producing a performance pleasing to the eye if it means we get sod all from the match. Boyd’s supposition on Radio Brownlee the other night was bang on: it’s just 11 guys trying to win a fitba game…

The absence of Mosso – ruptured motherboard – reduced our participation to incredulous internet streams and a rolling Twitter feed…our favourite ex-Rangers blog contributor took quite the pounding from anyone with a mobile and a #boro tag, up until he displayed that excellent predation…

The gamble to throw Halliday and Kink right out there was bold and pleasing…their performances weren’t as optimistic, but their remains the belief that they’ll get stuck in soon enough and play important roles. The Argentina-inspired back line of four central defenders worked a treat too – Kilgallon lent some professionalism to the left back slot and Bates was really good from our vantage. Full credit to Jason Steele too…he’s gripping the chance afforded to him and immersing very well at this level…

Let’s keep building on the positive results in hope that they breed greater confidence and expressionism out on the pitch…

And go ahead – you can cheat off our Spartan match notes too…

Steele; Bates, Wheater, McManus (c), Kilgallon;  Kink, Robson, Bailey, Halliday; Boyd, McDonald

• Wheats only Boro player to start in last fixture between two clubs – 16 Jan 10 – 1-0 Sheff Utd
• 20 mins in – sloppy play from hosts – too many misplaced passes
• Riverside is embarrassingly empty – 14633
• decent 3 min spell around 32 mins – everything strafes the box though, not penetrating enough – balls from the edges by Kilgallon, McDonald…Kink has a 25 yard pop that sails well over
• a banner proclaiming ‘The New Firm’ is caught by the television cameras
• HT – Boro 0-0 Sheff Utd
• deceiving stats – Boro bossing possession 56-44
• Arca on – Kink off
• awful service from the flanks – crosses not beating the first man – easily cut out by the defence
• 52 mins – GOAL – Kris Boyd – Boro 1-0 Sheff Utd – clanger from Chris Morgan – Boydy pounces and beats the advancing Simonsen
• 70 mins – Lita on – Boyd off
• Halliday looks well overmatched – crosses aren’t getting through and he’s being shrugged and strong-armed off the ball often…
• 79 mins – Taylor on – Halliday off
• MOM – Arca – Steele was impressive if largely untested…Bates really good too

1. gives a tantalising taste of the upcoming league action, replete with unique commentary and obvious assertions
2. broadcasts our ineptitude at prognostications of any sporting kind
3. a cheap way to file 600 or so words and stay on the cusp of relevance

Saturday

12.15p

Coventry v Derby – Ricoh Arena

Both dumped out of the Carling Cup at the first time of asking…more time to focus on the imminent lower-to-mid table scrap…Derby will summon the courage for another good early away result…Coventry 1-1 Derby

12.30p

Leeds United v Millwall – Elland Road

Surprisingly it’s Millwall who are the newly promoted side off to a rollicking start – a pair of tonkings meted out to the Bristol City and Hull, all without conceding a league goal…that changes after this affair…Leeds Utd 3-1 Millwall

3.00p

Bristol City v Barnsley – Ashton Gate

Both of these clubs were tipped for success early on, though Bristol may be erased by some now given the early upheaval…they fail to recall the cracking form achieved during Keith Millen’s spell at the end of last season…Barnsley will be difficult to predict all season…Bristol City 1-0 Barnsley

Burnley v Leicester – Turf Moor

Oh that devilish Paulo Sousa…Leicester deserved to beat Boro…don’t make us go hating your sexy ass…Burnley will be there all year long, as will the Foxes…Burnley 2-0 Leicester

Cardiff v Doncaster – Cardiff City Stadium

That’s right, Craig Bellamy appears to have strong-armed Manchester City into sending him home for a season to tear up a league incapable of neutralising him and got them to pay a large percentage of his wages…not bad for a club who by all rights should have been severely punished, if not liquidated, for repeated financial transgressions…Cardiff 4-1 Doncaster

Crystal Palace v Ipswich – Selhurst Park

Palace finally emerge from the administration mire…Roy Keane meanwhile is still cross about something, this time the lack of action in the transfer market…that cash from the Jon Walters sale is just sitting there too…buy someone, do it for the supporters! Crystal Palace 1-1 Ipswich

Hull v Watford – KC Stadium

Hull are skint, yet they managed to just procure the services of former Arsenal prodigy Jay Simpson…Watford snagged their own young tyro…some chap called Josh Walker…hmmm…Hull 2-0 Watford

Norwich v Swansea – Carrow Road

No, new honourary club ambassador Stephen Fry will not be suiting up for Paul Lambert, though we’d reckon his size and pleasant demeanour would flummox the visitors…Norwich 1-0 Swansea

Preston v Portsmouth – Deepdale

Gregg Roughley cockteased us with a missive on the increasing pressure facing Ferg Jr…a loss here condemns the Lillywhites to a positively dreadful start…Portsmouth have managed okay early doors despite meagre resources…Preston 0-1 Portsmouth

QPR v Scunthorpe – Loftus Road

Rangers are absolutely flying under Neil Warnock, cup defeat to Port Vale aside…ole Neil reckons they’re far from the finished article, but he’s fooling no one…Scunthorpe adorably claw and struggle…QPR 2-1 Scunthorpe

Reading v Nottingham Forest – Madejski Stadium

Languid starts from a pair of forecasted playoff sides…the seat under Billy Davies gets progressively warmer and the urge to bolt increases…Reading will be just fine with their stable of starlets…Reading 2-0 Nottingham Forest

Sunday

13.15p

Middlesbroughv Sheffield United – Riverside Stadium

Expect the sheen of Gary Speed’s debut a gaffer to be counteracted by the performance of a former Blades player, Matt Kilgallon…the defender on-loan from Sunderland is expected to go straight into Gordo’s side for a bit of calm and professionalism in the left back berth…it starts with this match – Mission: Promotion…Boro 2-0 Sheffield United