Saturday

3.00p

Barnsley v Middlesbrough – Oakwell

If the Tykes want a cup tie they’re going to get one says Gordon Strachan…Boro continue to tinker with their formations in search of some shape and attacking stability…midfield help is en route from Germany in the form of Hamburg’s itinerant Senegal international Mickael Tavares…Barnsley have yet to live up to early season promise as a playoff contender…Barnsley 1-2 Boro

Derby v QPR – Pride Park

Adel Taarabt is the second coming of Cristiano Ronaldo…Neil Warnock is taking Rangers back to the promised land…they play the most expansive football in the division…blah blah blah…wake us when they’re sweating on the outskirts of the top 6 come March…Derby 2-0 QPR

Doncaster v Hull – Keepmoat Stadium

The home side will take their hammerings, as they did last week in Wales…it proves as no deterrent for the slick brand of football Rovers like to espouse…Nigel Pearson undoubtedly has the resources and nous to stabilize leaky Hull…they strike us as a bit of a wildcard – you don’t quite know what to expect, especially away from home…Doncater 2-1 Hull

Ipswich v Bristol City – Portman Road

Roy certainly is rolling: a bright start to the campaign, currently in fifth position, superfluous Jon pair of Stead and Walters flogged off for needed dosh…a towering dread-locked striker procured from Wigan…things are progressing well for Town…Bristol City are still trying to find their feet after the Coppell disaster as they leak goals at an alarming rate…Ipswich 1-0 Bristol City

Millwall v Coventry – The Den

We reckon Marlon King may not be in the crowd for this one…surely a good kicking awaits if he’s daft enough…the Sky Blues are set for one too as Millwall continue to acclimatize to their new surroundings nicely…Millwall 3-1 Coventry

Nottingham Forest v Norwich – City Ground

Tough sledding for Forest so far…is Billy Davies furtively packing up his things little by little, or will he just sod it all and hope Forest ship his possessions out via courier to his forwarding address on file in human resources? Norwich are off to a flyer like their promoted bretheren…Nottingham Forest 0-0 Norwich

Portsmouth v Cardiff – Fratton Park

Dave Jones has zero sympathy for Pompey…maybe your heart goes into the deep freeze when your club is continually skint, you can’t afford remedial repairs to the pitch, and you’ve personally endured allegations of being dangerous to children? Portsmouth 1-1 Cardiff

Scunthorpe v Crystal Palace – Glanford Park

The Iron will survive if they maintain knocking off the bigger clubs who can’t match their austere and prudent approach to running a football club…Crystal Palace is another prime, attainable target…and Glanford Park can be a fun fortress…Scunthorpe 2-0 Crystal Palace

Sheffield United v Preston – Bramall Lane

Ferg Jr got a much needed result last week v Portsmouth…he’ll lead the Lillywhites into Bramall Lane hoping to extend the Blades early misery, and make the curve for new gaffer Gary Speed noticeably sharper…based on their display at the Riverside – and both teams were culpable – he’s got a job to do…Sheffield United 1-1 Preston

Swansea v Burnley – Liberty Stadium

The Clarets have hit the ground running – as expected in most footballing circles…Swansea’s transition under Brendan Rodgers shouldn’t be a transition at all really since the club was steadfast in appointing a new manager keen on proliferating their patented possession approach…some remain underwhelmed by the Carnlough Mourinho…scalping the visitors could go some way to altering that mindset…Swansea 2-1 Burnley

Watford v Leeds United – Vicarage Road

A top ten tussle in Hertfordshire, though for how long remains to be seen…Malky Mackay has his young tribe overachieving early…Simon Grayson just got attacking reinforcement in the shape of Scotland international striker Ross McCormack…we like the newcomers to nick a jammy win…Watford 0-1 Leeds United

5.20p

Leicester v Reading – The Walkers Stadium

Mouthwatering…sumptuous…eye-catching…adjectives not quite appropriate for these two given their pedigree and level of expectation…still, they’re our tips for fouth and third respectively…if it came down to barnets and overall looks amongst the gaffers the Foxes win every damn time…Leicester 2-1 Reading

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The existing deficiencies were again magnified in the loss to Barnsley 2-1. Boro negotiated suspensions and injuries to field another disparate side: Jonathan Franks on the wide right of a previously little used, though historically Strachan-favoured 4-5-1 -Marcus Bent foundered alone up front – Arca was in over Yeates again – Hoyte dallied some more on the left, ahead of 3 relatively well compensated and rested recognized left-backs. Never mind that the former Arsenal man and drafted replacement for Luke Young provided the opening goal – a benign cross cum shot from 35 yards out, adamantly labeled by the under-achiever as intentional. The visitors, heartened by the jovial and voluble traveling supporters, excelled early on and bossed it. Barnsley regrouped after the break, as is their wont, and changed shape to create 2 goals that changed the course and rendered Boro craven again. Mark Robins is starting to harness and conjure some of that old Oakwell magic – the Tykes now rest 15^th in the table on 30 points, but w/ two massive games in hand. Capitalise on those and we’ll have a new entrant into the playoff discussion…

The live blog is still on official Christmas holiday in Tenerife, and our normally reliable BBC Tees radio feed was replaced w/ a freakish imitation of Revolution 9 -  turn me on dead man…

• Celebrated egoist Leroy Lita suspended for punch petulance at the weekend
• Chris Riggott officially back – partners w/ David Wheater in the heart of defence
• Mark Yeates – still studying that lump of coal inexplicably planted in his Christmas stocking
• Arca goes close early on, capping a fine flowing team move – the strong shot denied by a full-stretching Luke Steele
• Boro goal! from Justin Effing Hoyte!! his deep, high cross from the right wrong-foots Steele and nestles in the top corner of the net – Barnsley 0-1 Boro – 24 mins
• Solid defending from Wheats – perfectly timed intervention in the box to stymie Hugo Colace
• No half-time ruminations – see above
• Barnsley reshape post-break – failure to clear a corner at the near post results in Stephen Foster heading the Tykes level – Barnsley 1-1 Boro – 49 mins
• GON tries to restore the lead quickly – latches on to a decent ball from Bent, but chips his effort cruelly over the bar
• Where is Julio Arca? 58 mins – Daniel Bogdanovic is given space/time to cross on the left – the delivery is met by an onrushing Hugo Colace to beat a helpless Danny Coyne – Barnsley 2-1 Boro
• Luke Williams makes his Boro bow – comes on for Jonathan Franks in the 73^rd – the little ginger doppelganger is the youngest senior debutant since good old Tommy Murray against Sheffield Wednesday in 1905…ah memories
• Emil Halfredsson – Icelandic winger – very impressive for the hosts
• Boro start to hibernate for the last 15 minutes or so until a quick pair of half-chances for the young starlet – a fierce Adam Johnson drive clips off the 16 year olds shin and painfully close to the Barnsley goal – right before the death he has another pop – better, but not enough for rescue
• With no GG to lead us, MOM honours go to Chris Riggott – solid in his return and a bit of a calming influence on our Redcar Rock

League duties take a back seat this weekend – Manchester Cini and their bespoke new gaffer bring the quarter-billion pound novelty – and possibly future relegated step-child – to the Riverside for the FA Cup. And it’s on the telly proper!

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Nickname: The Tykes, The Reds

Ground: Oakwell

From Boro: 88 miles south

Kit: similar to our new home strip, without the fancy aerodynamic imagery

Wankers?: not really – how could one not be captivated by their magical FA Cup run a few seasons ago, when they toppled Scouse Red and the defending holders Chelsea in epic fashion

Club History: see above…also, they’ve been up just once, and they were sent right back whence they came, even falling as far as League One…intervention from the town mayor, Peter Doyle, staved off administration in 2002, ultimately leading to Championship promotion in 2006…since then, cup run aside, they’ve underachieved – another relegation was averted w/ a win at Plymouth on the final day of last season…

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