Fifty points is generally the target for survival in this division, though some posit that the woeful form of Preston and Sheffield United actually lowers that number this time round – a number as low as 45 may do the trick. However close that target appears now, Boro still need results to cement their escape from once-calamitous circumstances. Here’s our casual analysis of the final 10 league matches – a forecast of where we get the points, and a genera estimation of where it leaves us after the final whistle on 07 May 11…

Boro v Watford

Reverse fixture: Watford 3-0 Boro

League position:8th

Form: 6th

This lot have beat us in three straight. We even lost to them during their brief Prem appearance in 2006-07 when they still had Ashley Young for fuck’s sake! Clearly a recent bogey club – a draw would be a positive step

Boro v Leicester

Reverse fixture: Leicester 0-0 Boro

League position: 10th

Form: 13th

Sven and his band of big-wage mercenaries, augmented with a bit of the bargain hitman Andy King, have rescued the fortunes imperiled by the flaccid start under Paulo Sousa – something tells us Boro will experience an international break hangover on the way to a loss

Sheff Utd v Boro

Reverse fixture Boro 1-0 Sheff Utd

League position: 23rd

Form: 23th

From @mcwd last Saturday: Micky adams is practically resigning on bbc Sheffield now . Who could really blame him for a public suicide? One win since taking charge, leading his beloved Blades straight to the League One rendition of the Sheffield derby…if Megson keeps Wednesday up! We’ll draw, but it’ll feel much worse

Ipswich v Boro

Reverse fixture: Boro 1-3 Ipswich

League position: 16th

Form: 21st

Bomb investigators may refer to it as the point of impact or summat…our CSI-derived training and immersion fails us presently. What is most certainly was is the collection of moments where an entire support base realized they we’re being grifted by a domineering Glaswegian with an aversion to standard courtesy, backed by a blinded leader incapable of assuaging the masses. Tempted to go for a plucky win…it wouldn’t be the first time we’ve left someone’s ground with an unexpected full haul

Boro v Barnsley

Reverse fixture: Barnsley 2-0 Boro

League position: 15th

Form: 19th

Some qualify the earlier loss at Oakwell as late lapse that saw us miss out on precious points – at 1-0 down we were far superior and pushing for an equaliser when they hit us with a late haymaker…now that Adam Hammill is at Wolves a satisfying win should be easier to come by

Burnley v Boro

Reverse fixture: Boro 2-1 Burnley

League position: 7th

Form: 7th

It was Kink-tastic climaxes like the one at the Riverside which cemented the fate of Brian Laws – the Clarets were on an acute decline ever since Owen Coyle took that ‘lateral move’…Eddie Howe has come up from Bournemouth to craft a new brand of positive football…one that negatively results in a cruel loss

Hull v Boro

Reverse fixture: Boro 2-2 Hull

League position: 9th

Form: 9th

By the time this match happens Boro could be safe, unless Hull’s former resident fitness specialist Phil Brown cobbles together a hell of a run at Deepdale…they can’t play Scunthorpe 9 more times we won’t be, but the loss will feel less damaging

Boro v Coventry

Reverse fixture: Coventry 1-0 Boro

League position: 19th

Form: 22nd

Kick them while they’re down. Aidy Boothroyd is gone. Avenge the injustice suffered at the hands, and fists, of Marlon King at the Ricoh Arena…this will be a resounding win

Cardiff v Boro

Reverse fixture: Boro 1-0 Cardiff

League position: 4th

Form: 14th

With Hull, Watford, and Burnley bearing down we could get a first-hand account of another Cardiff late-season bottle job…how sweet would it taste to fuck up their plans for Wembley? An enterprising draw could help achieve that…

Boro v Doncaster

Reverse fixture: Doncaster 2-1 Boro

League position: 17th

Form: 15th

At this stage we’ll be on 53 points – provided the wild machinations listed above actually materialize…this could be a killshot…our flourishing season-ending win could confine Donny to League One

Yeah, we made it…56 points. Based on the last three final league tables that’s good for 14th or 15th…far from pre-season objectives. That final sensation you hear is the collective tearing of the final lot of betting slips, the ones that relied on daft suppositions. Like Kris Boyd scoring goals for fun. We were a deluded bunch, no?

What a difference 53 hours makes…except it wasn’t so different. It was really more of the same – a pedestrian and laboured performance, this time punished by a bubbling side who cleaned up their chances and exerted pressure on the visitors. The Sunday league showcase versus Sheffield United proved valuable because it displayed that Boro can win very ugly games, just like the Carling Cup tie last night at the New Den illustrated how the attack still needs sorting – distribution and service from the wide positions has been atrocious – for it cannot always rely on a stingy and stout defence during increasingly desperate and barren spells.

We belatedly offer prized post-match thoughts from Sunday…post-return-to-sleep-after-515a-local-match-start-time thoughts actually:

Woeful match – terrific result. The gaffer has made no secrets that he is supremely uninterested in producing a performance pleasing to the eye if it means we get sod all from the match. Boyd’s supposition on Radio Brownlee the other night was bang on: it’s just 11 guys trying to win a fitba game…

The absence of Mosso – ruptured motherboard – reduced our participation to incredulous internet streams and a rolling Twitter feed…our favourite ex-Rangers blog contributor took quite the pounding from anyone with a mobile and a #boro tag, up until he displayed that excellent predation…

The gamble to throw Halliday and Kink right out there was bold and pleasing…their performances weren’t as optimistic, but their remains the belief that they’ll get stuck in soon enough and play important roles. The Argentina-inspired back line of four central defenders worked a treat too – Kilgallon lent some professionalism to the left back slot and Bates was really good from our vantage. Full credit to Jason Steele too…he’s gripping the chance afforded to him and immersing very well at this level…

Let’s keep building on the positive results in hope that they breed greater confidence and expressionism out on the pitch…

And go ahead – you can cheat off our Spartan match notes too…

Steele; Bates, Wheater, McManus (c), Kilgallon;  Kink, Robson, Bailey, Halliday; Boyd, McDonald

• Wheats only Boro player to start in last fixture between two clubs – 16 Jan 10 – 1-0 Sheff Utd
• 20 mins in – sloppy play from hosts – too many misplaced passes
• Riverside is embarrassingly empty – 14633
• decent 3 min spell around 32 mins – everything strafes the box though, not penetrating enough – balls from the edges by Kilgallon, McDonald…Kink has a 25 yard pop that sails well over
• a banner proclaiming ‘The New Firm’ is caught by the television cameras
• HT – Boro 0-0 Sheff Utd
• deceiving stats – Boro bossing possession 56-44
• Arca on – Kink off
• awful service from the flanks – crosses not beating the first man – easily cut out by the defence
• 52 mins – GOAL – Kris Boyd – Boro 1-0 Sheff Utd – clanger from Chris Morgan – Boydy pounces and beats the advancing Simonsen
• 70 mins – Lita on – Boyd off
• Halliday looks well overmatched – crosses aren’t getting through and he’s being shrugged and strong-armed off the ball often…
• 79 mins – Taylor on – Halliday off
• MOM – Arca – Steele was impressive if largely untested…Bates really good too

Boro – ‘an ambitious football club’…it feels terrific saying and hearing that…a proper half-cocked look ahead to the new campaign should be available later this week

Millwall – a bit of an unknown – I reckon you get beat up pretty quickly if you stray too far from the New Den, but as for the footie, there’s Steve Morison and Neil Harris banging in goals, and the omnipotent on-field leadership of club captain Paul Robinson…Kenny Jackett has plenty of options in his arsenal…a comfortable mid-table finish wouldn’t be a gross overachievement considering…

Norwich – tremendous turnaround in the last 12 months: get thrashed 7-1 by Colchester, at home, upon their League One return, sack manager Bryan Gunn , hire Paul Lambert – the man responsible for the beatdown that prompted outrage across Norfolk – then go and win the fecking league and get promoted back to the Championship…Old Farm derbies versus Ipswich Town return…Wes Hoolahan is a natural talent on the attacking left, and Grant Holt absolutely murdered goals last season…Simeon Jackson was brought in from Gillingham to add depth, and maybe even some competition for club top scorer, wresting it from the captain number nine…

Nottingham Forest – Billy Davies nervously laughs off the perceived incompetence of his advisory board…he wants players, can’t get no money for them, then casually bends the ear of anyone willing to listen about the whole injustice of it all…a hearty favourite for first-to-get-the-sack if things go pear-shaped early at the City Ground…his accomplishments at this level are well-respected, it’s just he doesn’t tend to stay around very long…

Portsmouth – in a world of fucking hurt…their North American death trip was bad beyond belief, and their rumoured to be hit with a 20 point deduction – possibly even liquidation…those near and dear to the club are bracing for another precipitous drop…but hey, at least Kanu will still be around…

Preston - Alan Irvine was harshly dismissed during a sour patch, and boy wonder Darren Ferguson swooped in amid some controversy: tapping up his former players…some of their wags too if the virtually gossip was to be believed…Ferg Jr couldn’t spin any immediate magic, even with the rich loan resources afforded thanks to purple papa…up until now his time in charge has focused on spouting post-match nonsense and eliminating those ill suited for his style of play

QPR – old Neil Warnock took the challenge – expertly disguised as a satchel full of bundles of crisp notes – across town and went poaching his old Crystal Palace and Sheffield United players…Clint Hill, Shaun Derry, Paddy Kenny, players he’s comfortable with…sounds like a transfer policy Boro fans are learning to embrace…and it’s fun listening to him talk…affable, controversial, frank…

Reading – prime contender for automatic promotion – a fantastic array of skilled and admired players including Gylfi Sigurosson, Jobi McAnuff, Shane Long, Jimmy Kebe, Adam Federici…the change in fortune from when Brian McDermott took over is a sweet confection Reading fans will not want to relinquish…they’re expected to hit the ground running and challenge all season for the title

Scunthorpe – is their magic act coming to a conclusion? Gary Hooper was finally flogged, and Paul Hayes went to Preston…Nigel Adkins will have to buckle the belt a tad tighter this term – staying up will be another small miracle in North Lincolnshire

Sheffield United - they certainly do embrace the style that typically embodies this league: gritty, robust, and brawny…ostensible skills: none really come to mind, other than kicking lumps out of the opposition and boring the pants off of spectators…Daniel Bogdanovic is in from Barnsley for goals, and the man Kevin Blackwell heralded as his January transfer target, Mark Yeates, remains in the fold…

Swansea – the dashing, jet-setting, champagne-drinking Iberian playboy that casually hits on all the wives and girlfriends has gone, off to pillage the birds of Leicester…from what we hear of new gaffer Brendan Rodgers the latent narcissism will still pervade – a Guardian poster recently quipped that the failed Reading boss would marry himself if it were legal…the slick and caressing passing game first introduced by ESPN heartthrob Roberto Martinez shall remain, it’s now the embraced ideology decrees chairman Huw Jenkins, with or without predatory full back Angel Rangel, target of future Championship opponents Blackpool…

Watford – the key for Malky Mackay is the loan market – if big four starlets like Tom Cleverley and Henri Lansbury, or any other of their contemporaries, continue their on-the-job training at Vicarage Road, then perhaps the Hornets can battle for a near-mid table finish…otherwise, the slog could be long and rough…ludicrous prediction: Gareth Southgate will manage this club before the end of the season…

West Bromwich Albion – it’s their bi-yearly migration north…can they solve the riddle of consolidation? Roberto di Matteo goes from League One to the Prem in a meteoric two years…

Nottingham Forest – rode an amazing wave of form to control 3rd spot…tight, organised, fitter, and more up for it than most of the opposition…Billy Davies gets teams promoted…maintaining that status? not so much…

Cardiff City – overcame the usual late season bottle job, and
administration bother…bags of goals…they’d be entertaining if
promoted…

Leicester City – improbable cohesion – Nigel Pearson should be investigated for human cloning violations – a steely and determined side, crafted in the mould of the former Boro man
Blackpool – Ian Holloway has a little dance…the form side who slid into the playoffs – those types have a history of running the playoff gauntlet – Pool haven’t been in 1st division since ’71

Swansea – there’s your Welsh bottle job – top 6 stalwarts for most of the season were doomed by lack of goal punch – will Sousa stay?

Sheffield United – promising finish, though they rarely were serious
promotion contenders…welcome back Paddy Kenny!

Reading – major turnaround under Brian McDermott – strong cup run buoyed league form

Bristol City – seemingly couldn’t lose under Keith Millen – Nicky
Maynard bagged a quiet 20 goals, especially the cracker v Pool that nearly spoiled their party

Boro – more later

Doncaster Rovers – free flowing footie under Sean O’Driscoll was frequently pleasing to the eye…can’t complain over top half finish

Queens Park Rangers – survived the standard managerial merry-go-round – Warnock says they’ll have to be reckoned w/ next term as they mount a serious promotion push

Derby County – better from young Nigel – will continue to build and ideally push for a top 10 finish

Ispwich Town – disappointing…after Roy Keane got the job late last season they responded strongly…horrific start to campaign was insurmountable

Watford – decent football at times, though their stars were all loan players – Tom Cleverley was outstanding…

Preston North End – little Ferg has them more organised…can he work some of the old Posh promotion magic?

Barnsley – Mark Robins was a great appointment – never an easy game – he’ll get more time to change the culture

Coventry City – briefly flirted w/ playoffs for a spell, even after selling Leon Best

Scunthorpe United – tremendous achievement to stay up given their paucity of resources…will look to cash in on the popular goalhawk Gary Hooper

Crystal Palace – promotion attempts railroaded by administration…did just enough under Paul Hart to avoid possible extinction

Sheffield Wednesday – despair at final day relegation – American
investment and sound stewardship of Alan Irvine should see a quick return to the Championship

Plymouth Argyle – the affable Paul Mariner instilled a courageous
spirit after the sacking of Paul Sturrock…sadly they couldn’t ride
it out the basement

Peterborough United – out of their depth, and the resulting
instability – sacking Ferguson and Cooper – was too big a
specter…revived under Jim Gannon for a spell…now Gary Johnson is the man to architect a new push back up

The wicked winter weather gripping all of Britain has eradicated large parts of the footie schedule, and Swansea’s long trip to Teesside was a natural candidate for eventual postponement. 6 matches so far in the Championship called off, with similar numbers affecting the rest of the domestic leagues and cup competitions. Pitch/ground conditions haven’t been the concern – it’s the safety of supporters to and from the venue that are of paramount concern. The conduit to the Bundesliga that is Raphael Honigstein raised an entirely valid point regarding the exceptionally cautious approach clubs are taking in these economically sensitive times. Many are so precarious that even one solitary accident suffered by someone attending their matches could have devastating financial impact – surely Boro and Steve Gibson aren’t immune either.

Time is the most valuable commodity – it allows for an opportunity to settle the new additions, and scheme for more. Expect a renovated side at Bramall Lane next Saturday when Boro travel to Sheffield United, right there in the deep mire of the table jostling for a foothold up towards the playoff promised land…can we stay in that fight?

These weren't needed

Boro’s baptism into the Championship produced a result all too familiar: a tepid 0-0 home draw to fellow promotion contenders Sheffield United. Considering the aforementioned stead of the Blades, it’s not a dire outcome – had it been Donny or Blackpool we’d be indubitably gutted, demanding Gazza’s head on a stick Cromwell-style, along w/ a proper and direct thrust from the central midfield…a few more striking options for good measure too…

As this site adjusts to the paucity of match coverage, we’ll lean on the lovely Louise Taylor to give us first-person perspective on the match. How the fabulously labeled baked-on-weed-looking Blades enthusiast John Ashdown couldn’t convince the hierarchy to permit a season-debuting MBM is beyond us. This rendition of up-to-the-minute coverage lacked panache and spirited interactivity, and the usually reliable BBC Sport live text feature launched well after kick-off, lacking the indispensable Cheese-y substance.

Some observations from our 2 hours of trolling and F5-ing:

• Mark Yeates is clearly up for it, and while Boro couldn’t organize an effective attack, he was a major party to whatever we tried to achieve
• Adam Johnson needs to play further up in attack, either as part of a dual striker formation, or just behind; he jinks and jives, has unbelievable pace, but consistently underperforms in the realm of crosses from the flanks
• Danny Coyne ostensibly had a good inaugural showing – no apoplectic moments redolent of Brad Jones…he produced a few fine saves and confident punch away dangerous balls in the box
• set pieces…get them sorted already! This has been a consistent problem going on YEARS…it would’ve been equally criminal, and expected, to lose this contest in such a repeating fashion

on to Swansea next Saturday…stay away from the bay

Nickname: The Blades

Ground: Bramall Lane – worldwide, it’s the oldest venue still hosting professional footie

From Boro: a little further than Hillsborough at 105 miles – United dominate the southern quadrants of the the city

Kit: very continental…looks Spanish, which isn’t entirely negative…

Made In Sheffield: the club has blazed a far-reaching extension of The Blades brand, investing in clubs from China (Chengdu Blades), Hungary ( Ferencvaros), Australia (Central Coast Mariners), and Belgium (White Star Woluwe)…who needs Jarvis as an ambassador?

The Greasy Chip Butty Song: You fill up my senses/Like a gallon of Magnet/Like a packet of Woodbines/Like a good pinch of snuff/Like a night out in Sheffield/Like a greasy chip butty/Like Sheffield United/Come fill me again…./Na Na Na Naa Naa Naaaaa, ooo!

Nickname(s): The Rovers, Donny, The Vikings

Ground: Keepmoat Stadium – a multiplex sporting facility hosting footie, rugger, American football, and Bryan Adams concerts; their former ground Belle Vue suffered a mysterious gas explosion in 2007, leading to it being razed shortly thereafter

From Boro: about 90 miles south – less than 2 hours by motor

Kit: absolutely wretched…it’s more paneling than stripe

Who  Loves Donny? LOVES IT: equally deft at footballing and hairstyling…he may have managed as well, not quite sure…

Rivalries: their part of the country is quite a fertile strip…the Sheffields, Rotherham Utd, Barnsley, Scunthorpe, Grimsby and Hull are all within a shout; also cultivating an admirable hatred of Leeds, being sure to say hello as they climb the Football League ladder, while Leeds continue to clatter down the rungs…

Gaz delves into his summer transfer methodology – Yeates is now on the books, and the Flying Finn could soon follow…sounds high maintenance…Mido high maintenance – speaking of, his afroed mate that was to help navigate us out of denial is ready to naff off back home…

Stewart Downing has this tacked up on the wall in front of his rehabilitation machine, hopelessly forlorn that it may not be January til he can get his very own, long after other whores get to model it first

coming later this week, The English Motorway System, a generous and kind companion to the upcoming Championship campaign…

Gareth starts his off-season purge: it’s Malcolm Crosby returning his security badge to front reception…

Matthew Bates continues to weigh loyalty to the club who supported him through numerous leg operations versus free Italian lessons from Gianfranco Zola…

Roma want a bit of this…seriously

Graeme Owens is off to Kilmarnock

Has Steve Gibson had enough? Does he long for rogue tax exile status and the inherent life of intrigue it affords?