Additionally there’s the specter of wasting glorious opportunities to close ground on 6^th place. Cardiff are in anticipated freefall…Blackpool stuttered at The Hawthorns…Sheffield United and new entry Coventry drew at the weekend. At the risk of getting all revisionist, if Leroy Lita operates within the confines of normal football convention and plays to the whistle at Forest, and keeps his hand out of the flight path of an incoming ball, we’d be sat on 50 points w/ those Bluebirds and Tangerines. Bollocks to lessons learned. We have to be better. It’s that sort of brutal candour from the gaffer that will revive the culture and move this club on.

It was a multi-partner fete last match day. AV and the lads on the live blog to start…a sampling of the seductive duo of Alistair Brownlee and Gary Gill…then a final carnal pleasure: live streaming video scrambled from the Middle East. It was all quite tasteful and satisfying…

Coyne; Naughton, Wheater, McManus, Taylor; Robson, O’Neil, Williams, Arca; Killen, McDonald

• Mac is back – received the full spa treatment at Hurworth: injections, massages, aromatherapy, nonsensical new age music, and an overload of vitamin A
• His resiliency is tested early on – 2 mins in he’s elbowed by Coloccini whilst chasing a ball in the Geordie box – shouts for a penalty are waved away
• Toon have only won once away from home since December – at Vicarage Road against Watford on 27 Feb 10
• Mark Drury on the first 15: we’re competitive – fancying our chances against a reshuffled back four
• Newcastle get the opener after doing eff all so far – Gutierrez slots a ball through our central defenders and Peter Lovenkrands gets on the end and coolly slots home from 12 yards – Boro 0-1 Newcastle – 16 mins
• Wheats caught flat-footed on the ball that led to the goal – would prove to be an ambivalent day for the lad
• Gordon Strachan imploring Chris Killen to do more than look big – our full-backs are doing the job getting the ball in – he has to do better to hold up play
• First real chance for Boro – from a free kick Barry Robson unleashes an absolute thunderbolt – Steve Harper elongates to deny the Scot
• This is the 116^th meeting in the Tyne-Tees derby – Toon still edging it w/ 45 wins to Boro’s 35…26 draws for those liberal arts majors out there
• What a fantastic goal! Barry Robson – a name fast becoming synonymous with Teesside quality – with a stunner that reduces Steve Harper to spectator – from 20 yards out he arrows it inside the goal into the side netting – Boro 1-1 Newcastle – 36 mins
• More on the goal which conjured ‘absolute ecstasy’: not much back lift on the strike, and as he cut in it was doubtful he’d have a pop – a superlative strike
• Gary Gill wonders aloud, ‘did Pancrate really play for Paris Saint-Germain?’ Ali replies tersely, ‘allegedly’…keep those boys off the ale!
• Andrew Taylor so far: rather effective…
• Attendance – 27347 – (3743 Jawdees)
• HT – Boro 1-1 Newcastle
• GG says: we’ve been unconvincing defensively – haven’t dealt well w/ mazy runs from Lovenkrands, as evidenced by their goal – overall we’re the better side to this point
• The Riverside has been a cauldron thus far – the unveiling of a brilliant Trophy Virgins banner from the Red Faction has increased the steam
• Julio Arca feels it – the man quite familiar w/ north east derbies – gallops onto a delicious ball from GON down the left channel – his shot is smothered by Harper and out for a corner – just needed the same kind of flick his fellow countryman uses every now and then
• 67 minutes – more audacity from Arca as he intercepts a poor clearance and bursts forward for a shot – over, but encouraging
• Scott McDonald’s fitness levels aren’t a concern at all – he’s everywhere…Killen improving too
• Account opened! From a Robson free kick on the right – Killen climbs and nods it back across the box – Mac is there to swivel and score from inside the 6 – a lovely finish under duress – Boro 2-1 Newcastle
• Wheats cancels out an onrushing Leon Best in the 79^th minute – a superb sliding challenge…the highlight of a lackluster display
• Lacklustre what? Andy Carroll displays the kind of form that has historically killed us…in the reserves – he grabs and guides a cross from Tamas Kadar w/ his left boot, past a forlorn Danny Coyne – Boro 2-2 Newcastle
• Carroll gets a chance to blag a winner – Stephen McManus present to stifle a decent scoring opportunity – 86 mins
• Killen and his substitute, Lee Miller, draw the ire of the referee w/ their imposing and physical play
• 4 mins added
• GG MOM – Scott McDonald
• FT Boro 2-2 Newcastle
• Post match brief: ‘a real, real shame’…’the best performance under Gordon Strachan’, asserts Mark Drury

Derby – County that is – away on Tuesday…will results continue to go our way? Can we take advantage?

To underscore the astonishment with the squad selection, Justin Hoyte was deployed at left back…ahead of the 3 existing and available ones…Julio Arca was favoured over Mark Yeates. In retrospect it’s daft to not think we’d struggle as badly as we did. Sorry Gary O’Neil, you didn’t boss the midfield…bang on though in being forthright about the deficiencies in attack and defence. Gary Gill was spared with a nagging malady – former Boro right back Curtis Fleming trekked the icy slopes to the press boxes at St James’ Park – here is what we culled from their vantage:

• GON free kick on 12 mins – Lita rises unchallenged, but the header is far off target
• Geordies lead after a questionable tangle in the box – Shola Ameobi appears to have pushed Emanuel Pogatetz before heading a ball towards goal that’s ultimately stabbed home by Marlon Harewood
• Danny Guthrie starts prolifically – delivered the ball leading to the first goal – his free kick is repelled by the wall but drops to Alan Smith, in a monumental scoring drought, who fizzes his shot low and wide
• Hand ball on Steven Taylor? He controls Isaiah Osbourne’s scooped shot onto the post – another in a long line of stonewall penalties denied
• HT – Newcastle 1 – 0 Boro – Curtis Fleming: Boro poor at set pieces – really costing us; Brad Jones continues to induce fear – rooted to the spot too often, and when he’s not something foolish is usually afoot – Mark Drury openly asks: are we really 20 points worse than the Geordies? Go get stuck in!
• Marcus Bent on – Dave Kitson off – ineffectual from the Ginger Ninj-er
• Niggly officiating
• Reported attendance: 49,644
• David Wheater goes close at one end – Newcastle shift the attack and Danny Guthrie is again involved – a cross from the right meets Ameobi again, this time the striker connects – Newcastle 2- 0 Boro
• Is it safe to throw on Luke Williams and/or Jonathan Franks in a hostile derby environment?
• Lita continues his maddening inconsistency – he’s fed a nice ball resultant of a decent move between Osbourne and Bent – LL pounds the effort well over the crossbar
• Hoyte – horribly exposed to failure – makes an enterprising run at the Newcastle back four – silky moves with no end quality that…sadly
• Franks does get on for Lita late – no impact
• Curtis Fleming MOM – Emanuel Pogatetz

Of paramount importance now is a proper return of points from the holiday fixtures – 6 would be exceptional – anything less than 4 a failure…

Fucking Newcastle keep winning – their perpetual off-season turmoil may have actually helped galvanise the squad. The personnel embargo limited the movement of potential assets like Kevin Nolan, Steve Harper, Jonas Gutierrez, and Andy Carroll. Throw in the extra grit of Alan Smith, Joey Barton, Danny Guthrie, the wise permanent appointment of caretaker Chris Hughton, and it’s not exactly shocking that the Toon have organised effectively and made short work of their new league thus far. The Geordies have been largely injury-free – it needs to stay that way if they wish to continue their rapid ascent back to the top flight.

Peterborough are convinced Mark Cooper is their man to mount next seasons Championship promotion push. The managing prodigy leaves his post at Conference side Kettering Town to fill the vacancy caused by the divorce between silver-spooned Darren Ferguson and Darragh MacAnthony’s plaything, who for a rich bloke has a shit Wikipedia page… The real estate magnate’s puppets are convinced SAF junior has another gig lined up, in no way influenced by his familial connections, possibly to change the bigarade hue that has ensconced greater Hull for the past 3 years.

Paolo Sousa is devilishly handsome. And he backed Boro for promotion after receiving a 3-0 thrashing from the Teessiders in round 2. We naturally love him, if only because he adequately fills the Mourinho-shaped void in English football. The Jacks own the stingiest defence in the division, and are now unbeaten in 10 straight, elevating to 9^th in the table.

And hasn’t Ian Holloway heard that junk shop clothes will get you nowhere? He was convicted by the Blackpool kangaroo court for either not being punctual, or misplacing his kit, or both? He trudged off to the charity shop for a £12.99 suit to wear for the 4-1 thrashing of schizophrenic Scunthorpe. Speaking of misplacing, seems Robbie Savage has some explaining to do…why show up for an international flight w/ the passport of your missus? Is it a devious murder for hire subplot on the lurid level of Nip/Tuck, or just an honest cock-up expected of a gypsy oaf? He won’t get back on the        flight deck w/ that behaviour…

The league is on hiatus until next Friday – Swansea v Derby to kick off round 17 – we’ll return next week to summarise Boro/Forest, and the rest of the notable and entertaining…