Now the gaffer embarks on the laborious task of scouring the loan markets. The one or two strikers he had hoped to bring in will have to be those whelps, wonders and journeymen left off official 25 man rosters for the top two divisions. Nothing too expensive, unless the loan club is willing to subsidise a substantial portion safe in the knowledge their commodities will enjoy some flourishing, free-flowing football, for up to 93 days anyway. Below are 10 possible targets, rated on varying levels of probability…

Realistic

Luca Scapuzzi – Manchester City – striker – Italian – 20 –  eight years in the Milan youth set-up  - featured in the Dublin Super Cup, scoring against a League of Ireland XI and making bench in the City 0-3 against Inter

Oumare Tounkara – Sunderland – striker – French – 21 –  back from a decent spell at Oldham last season, scoring 7 goals in 44 appearances – offers exceptional size with some of the continetal flair Tony Mowbray has been known to appreciate

Casey Thomas – Swansea – striker – Welsh youth international at U17/U19/U21 – 20 – only 1 senior appearance, against us in our Champo bow back in August 2009 – lower league loans at Newport County and Port Talbot haven’t been too enriching for player or parent club – on the surface he may not be ready for semi-regular action at this level

Rob Hulse – QPR – striker/quintessential target man – English – 31 – previous rumoured target under Southgate and Strachan – work ethic and goal scoring is somewhat questionable – he’s an older Kris Boyd, and frankly superfluous in Boro’s preferred system

Roman Bednar – West Brom – striker/brute – Czech Republic – 28 – surprisingly named to the Premier League 25 man squad – he’s a handful on and off the pitch – cautioned for a minor drugs offence and suspended by the Baggies in May 2009 – back after spending the last 6 months in Turkey w/ Ankaragucu, which was the direct result of his nullifying an agreed move to Bristol City last January

Saido Berahino – West Brom – striker – Burundi born, now represents England at U20 level – 18 – scored a goal at the U20 world Cup in Colombia against the Aussies – he was dead chuffed over it

Ambitious

Harry Kane – Spurs – striker – English – 18 – good spell at Leyton Orient in the second half of 2010-11 – made his senior debut in Europa League reverse fixture against Hearts – won a penna, and failed to convert it – perhaps he’s not ready to leave the safe womb of London just yet

Callum McManaman – Wigan – striker – Scouse – 20 – kid is highly regarded by Roberto Martinez – offers versatility up front or out wide – distant relative of former Liverpool and Real Madrid favourite Steve McManaman, meaning he has post-career punditry deep in his DNA

Too Ambitious?

Simeon Jackson – Norwich City – striker – Canadian – 24 – a decent career goal scroring record: 93 in 237 at Rushden & Diamonds, Gillingham and the might Shopmates of Raunds Town – seemingly fourth choice behind Grant Holt, Steve Morison, and James Vaughan for Paul Lambert now – imagine him and Marvin Emnes abusing the stationary and limited centre backs that litter this division; a Dutchie and a Jamaican (by birth) blazing the grass beneath them

Adam Hammill – Wolves – winger – Scouse – 23 – creative left-sided player who can push forward to support up top – hot commodity in the January transfer window – Mick McCarthy got him for a pittance – first team opportunities could continue to dwindle with livewire Matt Jarvis and the ever-divisive Stephen Hunt ahead of him in the midfield pecking order

Boro – ‘an ambitious football club’…it feels terrific saying and hearing that…a proper half-cocked look ahead to the new campaign should be available later this week

Millwall – a bit of an unknown – I reckon you get beat up pretty quickly if you stray too far from the New Den, but as for the footie, there’s Steve Morison and Neil Harris banging in goals, and the omnipotent on-field leadership of club captain Paul Robinson…Kenny Jackett has plenty of options in his arsenal…a comfortable mid-table finish wouldn’t be a gross overachievement considering…

Norwich – tremendous turnaround in the last 12 months: get thrashed 7-1 by Colchester, at home, upon their League One return, sack manager Bryan Gunn , hire Paul Lambert – the man responsible for the beatdown that prompted outrage across Norfolk – then go and win the fecking league and get promoted back to the Championship…Old Farm derbies versus Ipswich Town return…Wes Hoolahan is a natural talent on the attacking left, and Grant Holt absolutely murdered goals last season…Simeon Jackson was brought in from Gillingham to add depth, and maybe even some competition for club top scorer, wresting it from the captain number nine…

Nottingham Forest – Billy Davies nervously laughs off the perceived incompetence of his advisory board…he wants players, can’t get no money for them, then casually bends the ear of anyone willing to listen about the whole injustice of it all…a hearty favourite for first-to-get-the-sack if things go pear-shaped early at the City Ground…his accomplishments at this level are well-respected, it’s just he doesn’t tend to stay around very long…

Portsmouth – in a world of fucking hurt…their North American death trip was bad beyond belief, and their rumoured to be hit with a 20 point deduction – possibly even liquidation…those near and dear to the club are bracing for another precipitous drop…but hey, at least Kanu will still be around…

Preston - Alan Irvine was harshly dismissed during a sour patch, and boy wonder Darren Ferguson swooped in amid some controversy: tapping up his former players…some of their wags too if the virtually gossip was to be believed…Ferg Jr couldn’t spin any immediate magic, even with the rich loan resources afforded thanks to purple papa…up until now his time in charge has focused on spouting post-match nonsense and eliminating those ill suited for his style of play

QPR – old Neil Warnock took the challenge – expertly disguised as a satchel full of bundles of crisp notes – across town and went poaching his old Crystal Palace and Sheffield United players…Clint Hill, Shaun Derry, Paddy Kenny, players he’s comfortable with…sounds like a transfer policy Boro fans are learning to embrace…and it’s fun listening to him talk…affable, controversial, frank…

Reading – prime contender for automatic promotion – a fantastic array of skilled and admired players including Gylfi Sigurosson, Jobi McAnuff, Shane Long, Jimmy Kebe, Adam Federici…the change in fortune from when Brian McDermott took over is a sweet confection Reading fans will not want to relinquish…they’re expected to hit the ground running and challenge all season for the title

Scunthorpe – is their magic act coming to a conclusion? Gary Hooper was finally flogged, and Paul Hayes went to Preston…Nigel Adkins will have to buckle the belt a tad tighter this term – staying up will be another small miracle in North Lincolnshire

Sheffield United - they certainly do embrace the style that typically embodies this league: gritty, robust, and brawny…ostensible skills: none really come to mind, other than kicking lumps out of the opposition and boring the pants off of spectators…Daniel Bogdanovic is in from Barnsley for goals, and the man Kevin Blackwell heralded as his January transfer target, Mark Yeates, remains in the fold…

Swansea – the dashing, jet-setting, champagne-drinking Iberian playboy that casually hits on all the wives and girlfriends has gone, off to pillage the birds of Leicester…from what we hear of new gaffer Brendan Rodgers the latent narcissism will still pervade – a Guardian poster recently quipped that the failed Reading boss would marry himself if it were legal…the slick and caressing passing game first introduced by ESPN heartthrob Roberto Martinez shall remain, it’s now the embraced ideology decrees chairman Huw Jenkins, with or without predatory full back Angel Rangel, target of future Championship opponents Blackpool…

Watford – the key for Malky Mackay is the loan market – if big four starlets like Tom Cleverley and Henri Lansbury, or any other of their contemporaries, continue their on-the-job training at Vicarage Road, then perhaps the Hornets can battle for a near-mid table finish…otherwise, the slog could be long and rough…ludicrous prediction: Gareth Southgate will manage this club before the end of the season…

West Bromwich Albion – it’s their bi-yearly migration north…can they solve the riddle of consolidation? Roberto di Matteo goes from League One to the Prem in a meteoric two years…

Nottingham Forest – rode an amazing wave of form to control 3rd spot…tight, organised, fitter, and more up for it than most of the opposition…Billy Davies gets teams promoted…maintaining that status? not so much…

Cardiff City – overcame the usual late season bottle job, and
administration bother…bags of goals…they’d be entertaining if
promoted…

Leicester City – improbable cohesion – Nigel Pearson should be investigated for human cloning violations – a steely and determined side, crafted in the mould of the former Boro man
Blackpool – Ian Holloway has a little dance…the form side who slid into the playoffs – those types have a history of running the playoff gauntlet – Pool haven’t been in 1st division since ’71

Swansea – there’s your Welsh bottle job – top 6 stalwarts for most of the season were doomed by lack of goal punch – will Sousa stay?

Sheffield United – promising finish, though they rarely were serious
promotion contenders…welcome back Paddy Kenny!

Reading – major turnaround under Brian McDermott – strong cup run buoyed league form

Bristol City – seemingly couldn’t lose under Keith Millen – Nicky
Maynard bagged a quiet 20 goals, especially the cracker v Pool that nearly spoiled their party

Boro – more later

Doncaster Rovers – free flowing footie under Sean O’Driscoll was frequently pleasing to the eye…can’t complain over top half finish

Queens Park Rangers – survived the standard managerial merry-go-round – Warnock says they’ll have to be reckoned w/ next term as they mount a serious promotion push

Derby County – better from young Nigel – will continue to build and ideally push for a top 10 finish

Ispwich Town – disappointing…after Roy Keane got the job late last season they responded strongly…horrific start to campaign was insurmountable

Watford – decent football at times, though their stars were all loan players – Tom Cleverley was outstanding…

Preston North End – little Ferg has them more organised…can he work some of the old Posh promotion magic?

Barnsley – Mark Robins was a great appointment – never an easy game – he’ll get more time to change the culture

Coventry City – briefly flirted w/ playoffs for a spell, even after selling Leon Best

Scunthorpe United – tremendous achievement to stay up given their paucity of resources…will look to cash in on the popular goalhawk Gary Hooper

Crystal Palace – promotion attempts railroaded by administration…did just enough under Paul Hart to avoid possible extinction

Sheffield Wednesday – despair at final day relegation – American
investment and sound stewardship of Alan Irvine should see a quick return to the Championship

Plymouth Argyle – the affable Paul Mariner instilled a courageous
spirit after the sacking of Paul Sturrock…sadly they couldn’t ride
it out the basement

Peterborough United – out of their depth, and the resulting
instability – sacking Ferguson and Cooper – was too big a
specter…revived under Jim Gannon for a spell…now Gary Johnson is the man to architect a new push back up

Boro did just enough in the last match to stay on the radar, though the blips are ominously sporadic. Finishing strongly in the last six matches is imperative, not just for chasing a mathematical mirage – also setting a firm foundation for a project looking set to miss a critical deadline…

Extended notes on the Watford affair:

Jones; Hoyte, Wheater, McManus, Taylor; Robson, O’Neil, Williams, Arca; Miller, Killen

• The notorious virus that put Hurworth on lockdown earlier this week beats its path through the non-playing participants of the traveling Boro party: Gary Gill is out – Craig Hignett in – and to prove the infection reaches far across the periphery of the official traveling party Eric Paylor is rendered below fitness for the trip down w/ AV – Tallentire has his gear packed and ready beside the bed

• On loan winger Jay O’Shea on the bench after limited training w/ his temporary teammates

• CG fondly recalls playing days w/ Martin Taylor – bizarrely also on loan from Brummie FC like our Irish winger – despite the recent reputation as a vile oaf he’s a real gentle giant – Tiny to his friends apparently…

• Quick start from the hosts – Tom Cleverley goes for accuracy over pace w/ his free kick – save B Jones inside of the first 2 minutes

• Boro don’t get going until the 13^th minute – off a cleared Watford corner GON romps forward cavalierly and shoots wide of Scott Loach’s target

• If Malky Mackay doesn’t get a job soon after he’s sacked maybe he can shill throat lozenges? The BBC Radio Tees effects microphones catch his every screeching shout

• Watford break through on 18 minutes: a corner was only half-cleared and it falls to former Boro man John Eustace – he volleys sweetly from the edge of the area past Jonesey and into the goal – Watford 1-0 Boro

• Blame Mark Drury for that goal implores CG – he was calling the goal scorer John Useless pre-match

• That goal was a bad augur: Watford unbeaten in 13 matches this campaign when they’ve opened the scoring – 10W 3D

• Alternatively we have the most losses from a 1-0 scoreline in the league…most wins from a 2-0 result too…what’s it all mean?

• Last team to beat Gareth Southgate? It was these Hornets a mere 4 days before Gaz – born in Watford! – got the sack

• An uneven performance from the referee Roger East so far, and probably not surprising given his ostensible geographical bias – 3 yellow cards for our lot – and a failure to send off Henri Lansbury for a rash of inappropriate fouls and tackles

• HT Watford 1-0 Boro – total rubbish so far

• CG opines: same old story for the Boro – punished by one or two lapses of judgment; lack of fluidity amongst the lumbering strike force and a lack of the final ball…their keep hasn’t done much; bring on LL to wreak havoc on this awful pitch…his pace can trouble their defenders and punish them for any sort of transgression

• Mark Drury reports that Gordo is cutting an increasingly frustrating figure on the bench -lambastes Mick and Killen for silly bookings – and laments being too lenient w/ the opponents so far…they’re there for the taking, insomuch as it was them who feared getting trousered early and succumbing the way we used to

• 2^nd half resumes w/ Leroy lurking on the sideline – his introduction finally occurs in the 50^th minute, replacing Lee Miller…why not just do it at half-time?

• Especially if he sparks the attack like this! His diligence deep in the Watford half earns a corner – and then moments later links well w/ Barry Robson to produce a pop on goal…

• And then he only goes and levels the effing match! LL scraps w/ Lloyd Doyley to win a 50-50 ball and plays it wide to GON – he chips a cross back towards goal and Leroy nods it home – Watford 1-1 Boro – 55 minutes

• That Henri Lansbury is a dirty little fucker – a spate of ruthless fouls that go largely unpunished until he finally copped a yellow card

• Last away win for Boro remains the 4-1 mauling @ Doncaster in January

• Horrendous surface at Vicarage Road – balls bobbling and forcing extra touches that’s slowing down any momentum – but both sides have to deal with it equally…no longer should an inferior surface be attributed to a poor and unacceptable performance

• Tom Cleverley has easily been the best player on the pitch…and he just absolutely whacked the crossbar!

• ‘A constant whirl of conversation’ on the touchline between the gaffers and fourth official

• 15 minutes left and it’s the first real spot of bother for Brad Jones: instead of securing a benign cross into his area it’s palmed out to Cleverley – Jonesey’s positioning saves him as he’s perfectly restricting a clear sight on goal

• Heidar Helguson springs to life in the final 10 minutes: the flag stays down as he latches onto a ball from the ubiquitous Cleverley and goes close; moments later David Wheater produces a superb block before the Icelandic striker can fire off a round

• Now a lack of shorts plagues us – apparently the fans saw a bit too much of Jonathan Franks as he came on for Julio Arca earlier…not only is he to occupy his place on the pitch, but his shorts too in a kit cock-up redolent of the trip to Peterborough
• Attendance: 14038 – well done to the 1132 away supporters who made the trek

• CG MOM: Mick

• FT Watford 1-1 Boro

A fair result overall…we defended well and really improved attack-wise after the break…Leroy Lita was really bright, maintaining a firm disposition full of endeavour and drive…hopefully the petulant transgressions of the recent past are history

Crystal Palace come Saturday to The Riverside…different agendas for sure, but desperate all the same…

Work continues apace to bolster the ranks beyond the favours Gordo ostensibly cashed in to keep Marcus Bent for a few more weeks. The funds saved from the St Ledger screw-up (£3m) will also pad the unknown budget for a squad augmentation – so based on the conjecture available vis a vis possible targets and their reported asking price let’s call it somewhere nigh on £10m. Every bit of that will need wringing to ensure we can capitalize on the decent incision and passion displayed recently. That last bit of quality, creating chances, and goals, out of skill and intelligence – if it were present we’d still be talking Prem, the annual cup run, aspirations for repeats of previous glory. Without it we sit and contemplate the current untenable position – on the outside of serious promotion debate, irrelevant in the cups, borderline laughing stock because we tried to reshape and failed miserably – the days of Hasselbaink/Yakubu/Viduka and the like replaced w/ drab misrepresentations fueling a downward trajectory…

The middlesbroughfcblog.com casita witnessed live Boro footie on the telly for the first time since spring. Sod that nonsense! Like when we became full-time fag smokers, an informed decision was made – Ali and Gary Gill would guide us…the visuals there only for confirmation and reinforcement…here’s what we deduced by listening and not watching:

• Full strength squad – like we asked our Arsenal-loving and Rafa Benitez-taunting mate – does he really have a choice?
• Early on: Johnno has been electric – switching flanks to terrorise Cit-eh w/ maximum effect
• Mancini looks like a knob in his baseball cap
• Steady dusting of snow/precipitation – loads of empty seats
• Is Gordo salivating at the under-strength side fielded by the visitors? Benjani up front on his own??
• Final ball still lacking (see above)
• 30 mins – Johnno pulls up lame w/ a re-aggravation of his hamstring knack – ultimately subbed off for Marvin Emnes
• Shawky on the bench? What the eff?
• Gordo is hell Bent: castigating the striker because he thinks more can be done – Bent retorts w/ a ‘give me better service’ – it has been pretty appalling thus far
• Martin Petrov, in the eyes of an unbiased Arsenal supporter: ‘Why does a bloody Bulgarian need a little blue scarf? It’s hardly Turks and Caicos…Bulgarians rank just  above Turks…utter wankers’ (he is their best player of the first half though)
• And that’s why – sashaying through the middle of the park to carve open our defence and free Benjani for a cool finish right before the end of the half
• During the half-time cuppa and fag: Gary Gill asks are we content to contain their attack versus creating our own? Gamble, be brave!
• City improve their quality at the break – Richards/De Jong off – Barry/Tevez on
• 53 mins – Marvin Emnes off now after clattering w/ Pablo Zabaleta – unremarkable 23 mins from the Dutchie – Mark Yeates on
• Some of that nice work from The Boro: Hoyte and Franks juke and jive on the left to earn a corner – clearance from an indecisive Macca shot earns another – played long – Macca back on the left pops a beauty in at the far post that Rhys Williams plants on the top of Shay Given’s net
• Wheats labouring w/ a right ankle concern – existing niggle…
• 2^nd half has been a more ‘Come On Boro’ approach, but the will exerted to contain Cit-eh is compromising our attack – like we need help there!
• GOG MOM – Macca
• Final sortie – a corner delivered from GON finds Jonathan Franks – it’s on target but blocked by Sylvinho – hand ball??
• FT – Boro 0-1 Manchester Cini
• Post match – a dispirited Macca laments his two missed opportunities, along w/ the  inability to consistently carve out chances – GON: we worked hard – conceding when we did really dented the mood – the squad needs help – can’t compete w/ the WBA/Newcastles at this rate

Good riddance – naff off for this year FA Cup – Swansea on Saturday at the Riverside. Get that Celtic contingent down here post haste…

Fucking Newcastle keep winning – their perpetual off-season turmoil may have actually helped galvanise the squad. The personnel embargo limited the movement of potential assets like Kevin Nolan, Steve Harper, Jonas Gutierrez, and Andy Carroll. Throw in the extra grit of Alan Smith, Joey Barton, Danny Guthrie, the wise permanent appointment of caretaker Chris Hughton, and it’s not exactly shocking that the Toon have organised effectively and made short work of their new league thus far. The Geordies have been largely injury-free – it needs to stay that way if they wish to continue their rapid ascent back to the top flight.

Peterborough are convinced Mark Cooper is their man to mount next seasons Championship promotion push. The managing prodigy leaves his post at Conference side Kettering Town to fill the vacancy caused by the divorce between silver-spooned Darren Ferguson and Darragh MacAnthony’s plaything, who for a rich bloke has a shit Wikipedia page… The real estate magnate’s puppets are convinced SAF junior has another gig lined up, in no way influenced by his familial connections, possibly to change the bigarade hue that has ensconced greater Hull for the past 3 years.

Paolo Sousa is devilishly handsome. And he backed Boro for promotion after receiving a 3-0 thrashing from the Teessiders in round 2. We naturally love him, if only because he adequately fills the Mourinho-shaped void in English football. The Jacks own the stingiest defence in the division, and are now unbeaten in 10 straight, elevating to 9^th in the table.

And hasn’t Ian Holloway heard that junk shop clothes will get you nowhere? He was convicted by the Blackpool kangaroo court for either not being punctual, or misplacing his kit, or both? He trudged off to the charity shop for a £12.99 suit to wear for the 4-1 thrashing of schizophrenic Scunthorpe. Speaking of misplacing, seems Robbie Savage has some explaining to do…why show up for an international flight w/ the passport of your missus? Is it a devious murder for hire subplot on the lurid level of Nip/Tuck, or just an honest cock-up expected of a gypsy oaf? He won’t get back on the        flight deck w/ that behaviour…

The league is on hiatus until next Friday – Swansea v Derby to kick off round 17 – we’ll return next week to summarise Boro/Forest, and the rest of the notable and entertaining…