The bonus we failed to initially see amidst the miasma: we’re tastily unencumbered for the spectacle…booze can flow as freely as she pleases…and this will be an unfiltered platform completely unfit for the fastidious confines of hippie journalism.

For context, the draft consists of: the country you support, relationship to it, why you’re fit, and how will your squad do…

United States

Citizen

2006 was my Year Zero. The WC just ended and the thirst for sport, culture and fraternity unlike any other coarsed through me, leading to an unlikely alignment w/ Middlesbrough FC.

The joy derived in the last four years has been exhilarating – countless hours spent banging and clicking away to minute-by-minutes and clockwatches covering everything from European championships/African Cup of Nations/Champions League/Uefa-Europa League/top Prem tussles and relegation rumbles. And that’s just a fraction of what’s consumed daily. I’ve regained the journalistic spark that was thought to have burned out long ago.

Allow me to provide desert-tinged colour, to augment the fans’ network, to assist The Guardian in proffering the best, most diverse coverage of world’s premier sporting event.

What constitutes success for the US this time around? There certainly aren’t the inflated expectations that may have hindered performances in Germany.

Qualification appeared easy and to the preferred script, but the top spot out of CONCACAF was secured in jammy fashion. It took a late goal from left back Jonathan Bornstein to cap off a fierce rally in Washington D.C., earning a 2-2 draw with Costa Rica that – coupled with a surprising Mexico draw in Port of Spain against Trinidad & Tobago – saw the Yanks top the group. Incidentally, the Bornstein goal also allowed Honduras to qualify when allied with their positive result versus El Salvador. Expect many baby Jonathans’ spreading from San Pedro Sula to Tegucigalpa come July – his name was chanted in an around Estadio Olimpico Metropolitano.

Bob Bradley has a good spine to build on: Clint Dempsey and Jozy Altidore up front, Landon Donovan supporting, Michael Bradley paces the midfield, with Tim Howard in goal. Fairly settled at the back too – Oguchi Onyewu should be fit, with Steve Cherundolo, Carlos Bocanegra, Jay DeMerit, and Jonathan Spector lending loads of experience. Ricardo Clark, Jose Francisco Torres, Maurice Edu, and Bolton midfielder Stuart Holden, if his health is rude, are the balance of midfield candidates.

England should walk the group, leaving a tense tangle between three fairly even sides, irrespective of FIFA rankings, coefficients, and cold buffet consumption. How we stand up in the opening match may not matter, as long as we do the business against the Slovenians and Algerians. With the top contributions of Howard, Dempsey, Donovan – albeit briefly – and others in Europe’s top flight leagues, a solid finish in South Africa will placate the minds and perhaps even start a movement to abolish ’soccer’, and adopt, gulp, real football.

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1. World Cup Draw
2. World Cup Piss Up, Part One – The Group Stages
3. Thievery Corporation – Boro Board Blagging The Punters?

The virtual atmosphere was so casual we actually considered toggling something else, instead of the alt-tabbing between the live blog, BBC, the Saturday clockwatch, and West Ham/Wigan en espanol. We saved it for long afterwards, fearing the dulling, desensitising effect it would have on our orgasmic joy.

Some Boro bullets in lieu of regular match notes – memo to minuscule regional internet radio operation: a large percentage of your listenership is down to Boro supporters outside the local catchment area – broadcast the fucking matches instead of your foul brand of benign Europop, even if it’s a dead rubber…

• So Gary O’Neil is alarmed by the gulf in class – nothing perceived about it – between Boro and the top two in the Championship, West Bromwich Albion and Newcastle. Failure to get points off either – in relegation and promotion battles alike – might be the perfect illustration. Two points. Out of twenty-four. Versus WBA: 0 wins – 0 draws – 4 losses / 11 goals conceded / 0 goals scored. And Newcastle: 0 wins – 2 draws – 2 losses / 7 goals conceded / 3 goals scored. What else is there to say Gary?

• Lamb on the run! Middlesbrough’s chief executive took to his imaginary throne in the BBC Radio Tees studio. Here his spin, in every convoluted sense of the word:

1. The it’s-never-too-early-to-get-promoted notion? Against it -
2. We’ll be the best resourced club next season – he backs off a bit later – one of the top-resourced clubs…ahem
3. So revisionist – he attempts to berate a caller illustrating how the region has soured under his recent stewardship. Cup runs, European finals, top half finishes, football under Bryan Robson, the big spending era currently dooming the club to financial prudence…yes, all his doing…and the town was happy
4. ‘Define the word sanction’ – used to describe his role in the Alves episode. This particular chap merely wanted to know the power structure for such a critically bad transaction – all he got was the bombast of a well-educated, strangely confident trapped rodent.

• Luke Williams will be a man. The Teesville tyro is getting his advanced footballing ‘birds and bees’ under Gordo and the rest of the senior team. Some good touches and the seeds of intelligent runs displayed in the first 45 mins of his starting first team bow. This kid might be bigger than the parmo, and virtually everyone is pulling for him.

• The highlight of the season? Fantastic supporters – anchored by this lot

• We know no off-season – reviews of pre-season prognostications, dissecting this season like the cheap biology lab frog it was, deep stretching for WC 2010 S Africa, and so much more of the decent effort tinged w/ haphazard finishing this space has become…

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2. Crystal Palace Notes
3. What The F**k? – Boro Balls Up Another Home Performance

Gordon Strachan admitted he was way past anger – join the club. Recycle all the pejoratives from past barren spells and failed opportunities…then multiply them by 18 months of seething anger. The valve on the pressure cooker was finally released…the sludge of an end product unleashed a fierce torrent. Of course that sort of emotion is natural…and to be expected – here’s hoping for the soon-to-be moment of clarity where we accept it and prepare to move forward. And speaking of…coming later: documenting the wreckage of a failed season…

The trifecta of live blog/Ali and Gilly/widely available streaming telecast of the 515p fixture emulsified into a creamy and rich coverage overload – he are the ranch-stained notes:

Jones; Hoyte, McManus, Grounds, Naughton; Robson, O’Neil, Williams, Arca; McDonald, Killen

• WBA – every outfield player has scored this season
• No Wheats – ankle ligament damage suffered in late-week training
• GON back – agreement reached w/ Pompey administrator – Vic reckons pay as you go for the last 3 games this year and the escalator kicks in come August
• Swansea/Pool/Leicester all win in earlier kickoffs – 7 pts down before the opening whistle
• Ref: Grant Hegley – Hertfordshire
• That’s a conservative jumper/suit combo from their gaffer – grey on grey w/ a pale blue tie
• 18 mins – not much in it – both sides probing for an opening
• Hoyte – 50^th Boro appearance
• Free kick in a good position on the left – GON delivers – Killen the target at the far post – goal kick
• WBA – only lost back to back once this season – 8 wins on the spin @ The Hawthorns
• Bednar hits the crossbar – poor from Naughton to lose is cheaply deep on the left – 27/28 mins
• Best Boro chance so far – Robbo finds space at the top centre of the box – can’t shape to shoot w/ pace – comfortable save Carson
• ‘Do you have the sat-nav?’ she’s a bit lost, Mrs. Ali is
• Would Arca be removed from the pitch on a stretcher or in a net? Deep thoughts from the live blog…
• Not making the best use of the ball – no incision
• Jonesey keeps us level – a few decent saves of note
• WBA – scored in every league match this season
• Mac goes wide! Ball from the left – laid off by Killen – beat Carson but couldn’t keep it on target – 39 mins
• 3 mins added
• Simon Cox puts WBA on top – smashes it into the top of the net after creating space – lovely knock down after the long raking pass from the back – WBA 1-0 Boro – 45 +
• HT WBA 1-0 Boro
• GG: goal was a hammer blow – couple of decent chances for us – fell asleep a bit on the build up to the goal – Mick got skinned by Cox – WBA looked a threat on set pieces w/ their size – Dorrans has been decent
• MD: Cox really turned Mick inside out – how many goals can we concede in the last 5/stoppage time of halves/matches?
• Whatever the final result, we won’t get tonked – Gordo won’t allow it – part of us being tougher and mentally stronger
• Carson off – Kiely on – Carson suffering after effects of the crash in the 1^st half
• Opening up in the first 8 mins of 2^nd half – Mulumbu and Bednar attacking well – Mick keeping things organised – Naughton has been alright at left back
• Killen on – Lita on
• Awful defending – WBA ping it about the box with ease – Bednar gets free and pokes home – WBA 2-0 – 55 mins
• Olsson and Mac tussle – some shoving and kicking there – summoned by the ref…
• YC GON
• This was the doomsday GON scenario…now the renegotiated fee to pay Pompey seems like a total waste
• YC Mick
• Grounds off – Riggott on – 70 mins – Grounds injured? Audition for Riggott?
• Totally disagree w/ this nonsense that the earlier results are affecting this rubbish performance…we must be stronger than that
• Jonesey preserves the 2 goal deficit – Koren/Bednar? – good save either way
• Cox off – Morrison on – what odds he scores?
• Williams off – Franks on – presumably Arca tucks inside
• 80 mins to earn first corner of the match
• Bednar off – to a standing ovation – I Miller on
• GG MOM – B Jones
• 86 mins – Lita shakes his marker and bears down on goal – a heavy touch and lack of vision doom the move
• Mac hits the bar! 90 mins
• 2 mins added
• FT WBA 2-0 Boro – Baggies celebrate their cemented promotion at home – Boro eliminated from playoffs
• 11-0 the last 4 matches v Baggies
• Players didn’t acknowledge fans after the match?
• Almost like being invited to someone else’s party? MD
• Riggott/Pogi/Grounds/JA – out of contract
• Killen/Naughton/Mick – on loan
• Gordo: embarrassed – not angry – you can deal w/ anger, way past that – not taking positives at all – not interested if earlier results affected us – he was really cross

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We enjoyed the usual feast consisting of a battered, deep-fried live blog escalope served w/ a hearty portion of chipped BBC Radio Tees…satisfying post-meal fag optional…

Jones; Hoyte, Wheater, McManus, Taylor; Robson, O’Neil, Williams, Franks; McDonald, Killen

• ‘Cracking day for a match’ according to the broadcast team
• Palace an old side – 5 players over age 30
• Alan Lee opens the action on 5 minutes by smashing the post! The well-proportioned Irish striker – long a target in eyes of this blog – romps forward and cuts inside of Wheats to unleash a screamer that left Brad Jones flailing…
• Boro fashion a lead out of nothing: Gary O’Neil is unlocked down the right channel by a terrific ball from Justin Hoyte – he squares the ball to Scott McDonald who taps it in – Boro 1-0 Palace
• ‘The intelligence of Gary O’Neil’ crafted that goal says GG…a real poacher’s finish…proper strikers goal
• Time to raise the intensity after the goal – apply more pressure
• Everyone has a hearty laugh at Jay O’Shea’s banana-like boots…ah, hazing the new fish
• Great linkage between the midfield and attack, notably GON and Mac
• Mark Drury checks in pitchside w/ the latest instructions from the gaffer: take on the fullbacks – Ertl is a centre back and Matt Lawrence just arrived – get wide and test them
• AV confirmed the latest in a string of denied stonewall pens – Mac got to long ball over the top – Paddy McCarthy defends it sloppily, though not enough to stimulate referee Graham Salisbury…did he not see Paddy tugging him down?
• Andrew Taylor limps off after re-aggravating one of his seemingly many maladies…Kyle Naughton replaces him on 42 minutes
• Gordo remonstrating w/ the fourth official over the missed penalty call – the deep frustration surrenders to unlikely laughter
• The comic relief is short-lived as Palace get an equalizer deep into stoppage time – Alan Lee operated freely on the left to pick out Alassane N’Diaye – the young Frenchman finished w/ a fancy header from 12 yards out – Boro 1-1 Palace
• ‘Poor goal…good header’ is the supposition from above
• HT Boro 1-1 Palace
• Poor time and manner in which to concede – forces us to do something creative in the second half
• interval repast: tea/fags/Sports section of local rag
• Gary Gill begs of Justin Hoyte: ‘have a bit more belief son…use your pace…’
• Robbo tells everyone – probably in a menacing way – just calm down a little bit after a frantic spell
• Attendance – 18,028 (459 from Croydon)
• Palace defender Claude Davis suffers from karmic retribution after suspected hand ball  and a terrible lumbering foul on Leroy Lita…Robbo poleaxing him moments later offers a measure of justice…Ali thinks it’ll ‘clear his head…when he finds it…’. Boom!
• Jonathan Franks is a key ingredient in this Boro surge – he’s finding space down the left and working hard to provide good crosses – the peach he stood up at the back post for Mac – the header is looped over Julian Speroni and onto his net…later he switches up w/ substitute Jay O’Shea and buzzes down the right
• Despite all the turmoil – remember, Palace would be battling w/ us for playoff positioning if not for their points deduction – the visitors lay claim to the 3rd best away record in the league…with a point already secured will they blag a win?
• 3 minutes added
• GG MOM – Jonathan Franks
• FT Boro 1-1 Crystal Palace
• 10 unbeaten at home, but ultimately not good enough – feels like a draw should: 2 points wasted instead of 1 gained
• The body language of the players trudging off the pitch confirms as much – it wasn’t an overly-physical affair and the conditions were more than acceptable – this dejection comes from within the team
• Paul Hart brought a resolute, compact, and organised side to our place…eerily similar to the Pompey match last spring when we desperately needed something then too…what ever could be the correlation?
• Gordo has the last words: we lacked in bravery – mentally – not a strong enough performance – this he feels is the most dominant performance of since his arrival, inferring it to be better than Newcastle a few weeks back – quality and imagination were the key missing factors

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Overwhelmingly it’s clear that Gordon Strachan was a tad off on his assessment of the outfit he was handed down, and Steve Gibson/Keith Lamb may have been negligent in not acknowledging any readiness factor – simply put: can this guy win with what we have here, and if not, how much cash/time will it take to make changes? The answers remain nebulous, but the provident spend on the new bunch, coupled with certainty of existing squad members being sold infer a true direction.

Eric Paylor thinks the embryo is healthy and positive…

AV is keen to impress that this is our new level – everyone is for sale, and we sink into the more defined position of a feeder for bigger clubs, only able to exploit smaller, more vulnerable ones…

Change can be fun and exciting – the only attitude really as middlesbroughfcblog.com enters into a ground share w/ a non-footballing entity – Welcome to Steele Indian Park!

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